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  • Feeling Wine

    Like I said in that other thread, I drank some wine.

     

    Another slidey thing in open D.  New tuning fun!  I'll probably start doing an instrumental section in there after the first chorus bridge thing.  This is another first pass.

    Feeling Wine 

     

    Every spirit has its pace

    I guess they each have their place

    Right now

    I

    ...

  • #2

    I can tell you were a little further along on this one. .png" alt=":smileywink:" title="Smiley Wink" />

    I like the nice, relaxed feel.  However, there's one spot in the verses that feels a bit rushed.  The second line runs directly into the "right now" refrain, but my ear wanted a slight pause there.

    I have to say, the last two verses felt like you were out of lyrical ideas and were just reaching for something to fill the space.  Especially the cops line, which feels totally out of place in such a mellow song.  I know, it was three in the morning and you were polishing off the bottle.  I'd be lucky if I could strum an A chord in that situation.  But you might want to take another look at this one in the light of day and see if you can hone the imagery a bit.

    Beware of deepities.-- Daniel Dennett

    Comment


    • Chicken Monkey
      Chicken Monkey commented
      Editing a comment

      Really cool feel throughout, and the hook is killer.  I disagree w/ the other Monkey regarding going right into "right now"--sounds fine to my ear.  I think the last two verses are a bit shallow, and the last one in particular.  Calling the cops sounds a bit harsh, particularly if the tone of this song is an indicator of your demeanor after a bottle of wine--no one's ever brought in the police to stop laconic slide guitar and whisper-singing.  "Bang out" also chafes for me, both in the choice of words and the letter sounds that make up the words. 

      But definitely a song worth pursuing in the light of day.  "Feeling wine", I assume, is intended to sound like "feeling fine"--that's you're hook.  What kind of guitar was this played on?


    • rhino55
      rhino55 commented
      Editing a comment
      Lot's of good stuff for me to chew on. Thanks for all the input and kind words.

      I really like the class/glass stanza. Some didn't seem to like it but I think it will work better when I change the next one to:

      tapping out the last few drops
      up next we have a whole box

      And nat, great call on a group vocal. I can see that being really cool.

  • #3

    rhino55 wrote:

    Like I said in that other thread, I drank some wine.

    Another slidey thing in open D.  New tuning fun!  I'll probably start doing an instrumental section in there after the first chorus bridge thing.  This is another first pass.

    Feeling Wine 


    I love it.

    Lyrically I think you can do a bit more with the conceit. Maybe something like:

     

    Every spirit has its flow
    Vodka's bite, whiskey's glow.
    Right now, I'm feeling wine.

    or

    Every spirit has its flow
    Vodka's quick, whiskey's slow.
    Right now, I'm feeling wine.

    or

    Every spirit has its use
    vodka's nice with orange juice
    Right now I'm feeling wine.

     

    etc, etc, etc.

     

    I really like this tune! Lots of possibilities...

    “Good Vibrations” was probably a good record but who's to know? You had to play it about 90 bloody times to even hear what they were singing about. What’s next? Rock opera? —Pete Townshend, Melody Maker Interview, 1966.

    Comment


    • LCK
      LCK commented
      Editing a comment

      Bacchus knew a thing or two
      'bout how to keep from feelin' blue.Right now, I'm feelin' wine.

      Ain't lookin' for no great escape
      just the pleasures of the grape.
      Right now, I'm feelin' wine.


  • #4
    Only read it so far but I like the lyric as is, myself. But if its a whispery thing then maybe the cop verse is a little out of place, how about...

    If I get too loud just call the cops
    But I prob'ly won't so prob'ly not
    Cause right now I'm feeling wine
    __________
    Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
    Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
    Jesus

    Comment


    • Chicken Monkey
      Chicken Monkey commented
      Editing a comment

      LCK, you've got a good start on the LCK version of this tune, but your about as far from Ryan as one could possibly be style-wise...


  • #5

    If it were my song, I be thinking it needs just one more killer line, something along the lines of a John Prine punchline....something to make the people laugh.

     

    one small step for sober

    one leap of faith for the red nose rover

     

    got this joke I can't recall

    funniest thing ever said at all

     

     

    And you want people to sing along, of course.  So I'd try to get some buddies with pretty sketchy vocal skills to all join in on a fade out...

     

    I love this kind of song - good one!

     

    nat whilk ii

     

     

    Comment


    • #6

      There's a scene in the movie "Crazy Heart" where Jeff Bridges as Bad Blake is singing a song to Maggie Gyllenhal.  He has just written the song but when he finishes Maggie says, "I like that song, who did that?"  Blake tells her that that's the way it is with a good song, even though you've never heard it before it just seems familiar, it strikes a chord (pun intended).

      That's the way this song strikes me.  It just slips right into your pocket like you've been carrying it around forever.   I have never heard the line "I'm feeling wine" before, but I know immediately exactly what you mean. It's more than that phrase.  It's the feel of the song and the way you sing it. It's the rest of the lyric and it's that great languid slide guitar like a sultry August night on the bayou.  It describes a state of being so clearly that I can't believe I've never heard it before.  In fact, damn, I wish I'd said that.

      Nice work.

      Comment


      • Oswlek
        Oswlek commented
        Editing a comment

        saturn1 wrote:

        There's a scene in the movie "Crazy Heart" where Jeff Bridges as Bad Blake is singing a song to Maggie Gyllenhal.  He has just written the song but when he finishes Maggie says, "I like that song, who did that?"  Blake tells her that that's the way it is with a good song, even though you've never heard it before it just seems familiar, it strikes a chord (pun intended).

        That's the way this song strikes me.  It just slips right into your pocket like you've been carrying it around forever.   I have never heard the line "I'm feeling wine" before, but I know immediately exactly what you mean. It's more than that phrase.  It's the feel of the song and the way you sing it. It's the rest of the lyric and it's that great languid slide guitar like a sultry August night on the bayou.  It describes a state of being so clearly that I can't believe I've never heard it before.  In fact, damn, I wish I'd said that.

        Nice work.


        +1,000

        This is exactly how I felt as well.  The hook, melody and feel were so well paired that I didn't even bother to pay much attention to the lyric.  Sounds like you are getting some good feedback there, but don't change too much.


    • #7
      Perfect ^^* points. I totally agree
      __________
      Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
      Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
      Jesus

      Comment


      • #8

        Hi Rhino,

        Like the song and feel overall but do have a suggestion.

        I had the benefit of the lyrics while listening, but had I not, the main hook of the song would sound like you are saying:

        "I'm feeling why"


        I know this is a demo, but still, I think it needs to be adjusted a bit.

        I guess the reason is that the main emphasis in that line is "feeling", that's the dominate sound right now. When you get to "wine", it's a quick dot at the "end of the sentence".

        But I do have a suggestion to deal with this.

        When you hit the word "now" in each verse, you roll your voice in pitch. It's a cool effect and in many ways makes the tune.

        But I am wondering if you could do that a bit less, while adding that "flavor" to the word "wine".  That is...

         

        I'm feeling wiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnn...NNNNN...eeeeee....

        Said another way, help the listener feel your wine too!

        Further, I would vary the roll from verse to verse. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Just like the wine drinker!!


        Food for thought!

        Rick

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

        "Now and then... occasionally... it seems to have.... too many notes"

        Comment









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