Good Music/Good Organization

How here has turned down offers to play in some good bands? Well one was a wedding/top forty type band and I do not want to do that party music stuff. The other one was a new band that my old keyboard player started. The approached me about playing but a couple of the musicians in there really do not have the background in the music that we played and even though they are good guys I feel like I would be stringing them along. I told my buddy and the singer that I was on the fence. It was hard not to say how I really felt as I did not want to hurt anyone's feelings. I do not know what to do. Part of me says {censored} it and do it but my conscience tells me that it is kind of a step backward. I mean the bass feel is really important in the music that we would be playing and I was spoiled with last bass player we had playing in a band, I mean he was right on. The feel is such a delicate that even rock and r&b people cannot always play it. This new band has advantages. they have done a lot more than our last band did much faster like their T shirts and website. I just feel torn because I want to play but I do not know what to do?

Stay with them and try to fit in

Hope the bass player develops better

Be in an organized band

Bunch of good guys.

On the flip side the negatives are:

Stringing a couple of musicians along

I could see being frustrated musically

The band would not feel the vibe

Have played all the gigs they are doing.

It is a hard decision because I could see myself looking at the clock and saying "oh {censored} one more set". That is no worse thing in a band to be dreding giging and waiting for the end of the night. Being a frustrated player in a band is a pain in the ass. I have been through it before. I am convinced the best bands musically have the most problems. I do not know why but it always seems like that?

Well, there's your answer. Life's too short to be in something you can't love and sell yourself out to 100%. It's kind of like guys that settle for the plain gal with the big butt to marry because 1) no one's perfect, and 2)once she realizes how wonderful I am and lucky she is to have me, she'll change. Never happens. Bands are kind of like that.

Well I hear that and I was wondering if I was being to stubborn because bands are not perfect and don't have perfect situations but once you have been through a lot of {censored} it makes you gun shy. I told the singer that and he said "well your negative and I can accept that" but I did not beleive that he respected that. I mean I really never gave him an answer either way. Just kind of messed up. I kind of thought I knew the asnwer. I have a buddy at work who is older and a guitar player and said "if it does not feel right don't do it".

If people think thats me (and you) being "cocky" or "stubborn", too bad. The Hendrix line: "I'm the one that has to die when its my time, let me live my life". I'm tired of people with less vision and ability than me deciding my fate.

Truer words never spoken (typed?)!

I am not sure what exactly you wrote here, I mean number 2 "she realizes how lucky I am"??? It's hard sometimes because you have to weigh the positives and negatives and like I said there are no perfect bands. I just was worried if I was blowing an oppertunity???....

Well, on the flip side, you could say life's too short to sit around in your room and *wish* you were playing. (of course, I say that because I'd like to be in a band, but I just don't have the time.) Ultimately, it's your choice.

What if you identified what you hated about your last band and swore never to repeat that again? For example, I've promised that from now on I'll only play in bands if the pay is good OR if the music is amazing.

choices ...

I hear you. A week ago, I refused to join a top40 band with very good musicians (alot better than myself), lots of gigs and good pay, because I didn't like a "few" things : half of the setlist (covers moreover), one of the singers I already had bad experience with in another band, the "non-RnR" spirit, inexistant "band feeling" ...

I have set a deadline : if by the end of the year I haven't found something that suits me, I'll turn my requirements down a notch or two ...

Stepping back is bad, not playing at all is worse, IMHO ....

choices ...

I hear you. A week ago, I refused to join a top40 band with very good musicians (alot better than myself), lots of gigs and good pay, because I didn't like a "few" things : half of the setlist (covers moreover), one of the singers I already had bad experience with in another band, the "non-RnR" spirit, inexistant "band feeling" ...

I have set a deadline : if by the end of the year I haven't found something that suits me, I'll turn my requirements down a notch or two ...

Stepping back is bad, not playing at all is worse, IMHO ....

choices ...

I hear you. A week ago, I refused to join a top40 band with very good musicians (alot better than myself), lots of gigs and good pay, because I didn't like a "few" things : half of the setlist (covers moreover), one of the singers I already had bad experience with in another band, the "non-RnR" spirit, inexistant "band feeling" ...

I have set a deadline : if by the end of the year I haven't found something that suits me, I'll turn my requirements down a notch or two ...

Stepping back is bad, not playing at all is worse, IMHO ....

Originally posted by JMS 2 choices ... I hear you. A week ago, I refused to join a top40 band with very good musicians (alot better than myself), lots of gigs and good pay, because I didn't like a "few" things : half of the setlist (covers moreover), one of the singers I already had bad experience with in another band, the "non-RnR" spirit, inexistant "band feeling" ... I have set a deadline : if by the end of the year I haven't found something that suits me, I'll turn my requirements down a notch or two ... Stepping back is bad, not playing at all is worse, IMHO ....

Not playing at all is worse but what can you do?. Bands and musicians are in limeted supply so I guess I loose. Everyone thinks that I should join and am being to stubborn because the singer can get me somewhere better than where I was with the last band. Do I have to play with people that cannot feel the vibe and dred playing or being frustrated {censored} that??! People never know what you go through as a musician including some musicians themselves. It does not matter and this thread is probably useless now because the gutiar player who is in this current project is a good frined of mine. He told me yesterday that "you are in too much turmoil to justify doing it or not doing it". He found me out so theres my answer..................