i don't like singing my songs

i write about things that are on my mind. many negative, heartbreaking, depressing, angering, or whatever... and people seem to enjoy them, and many are fairly well written, but the problem is one, that i feel dissatisfied with them, am constantly tinkering with them, and sometimes get to a crossroads and can't decide which route to go down, and two, that a lot of times it's a real bummer having to think about and relive these moments over again. three, sometimes i just don't think my songs are that good.

how do you deal with that stuff?

i guess i could just write more until i'm happy with my work.

Just keep writing. I haven't been doing songwriting enough to use that specifically as an example but from a general composition standpoint, or performance standpoint I can say that there was a certain point where I got less attached to the immediate product and focused more on the experience and the journey.

Also music always changes and tinkering is a good thing but when you look back at Beethoven for example and some of the works that he thought could be better, which are masterpieces, I think it is easy to see that personal standards are something totally different from expressing something well in a musical language. Just try not to think of it too much and keep on going. I can't say you will ever be satisfied either, who knows. I think if there were a point where I wrote something or played something and said "that's it, I'm done this is perfect and anything else would not have a point" that life would really not have much of a point anymore. (though that would be pretty cool)

I think a lot/most/all of us here feel that way from time to time. We get sick of ourselves. I know I do. Leave your stuff alone for awhile and come back to it fresh. In time, it will grow up on it's own and you'll have a different relationship with it. More of an interpreter of your songs than the writer/suffering bleeding heart. As the circumstances that created the songs start to heal over time, so will your relationship with the songs. Some of the songs you WILL outgrow. But others, will mean even more to you. The important thing is to keep doing it. If you don't feel like performing your songs for others then don't. Something in you does or else you wouldn't be asking us. Perhaps you just feel embarrassed that your songs are downers? Perhaps the downer songs are just a phase that you have to push thru? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, something is making you write them. You best not stand in the way of what comes out. What you do with it is up to you. But you've got to let it out. Good luck.

Downer songs is what got me started in writing songs! To this date I still think some of the best ones are downer songs!

I'm often quite disappointed by my performances, but someone's got to do this stuff, eh?

I have no idea if other folks enjoy my work. On one hand, I suppose I wish folks did but I'm not doing it for them. I'm not doing it so people will think I'm cool or heroic (He's been writing over 30 years, no good songs, but he keeps on doing it!) or whatever. I mean, I like approbation as much as the next guy, but, frankly, it's always felt like I do a lot more writing than I get appreciation. If I was in it for that, I would have got into another line of endeavor by now... mystery novels, maybe.

As far as dark, sad, regretful, wistful, etc, subject matter... I write what I write. Even my love songs (all, like, four of them) tend to be built around conflict... it's how I learned to tell a story.

Pick a point in time for each song and consider them "done". Don't keep tinkering with your songs. You will never "finish" them and if you keep tinkering you lose that sense of accomplishment.

Songs are often written from emotions so they can be emotional. That's why people identify and like your songs. If that's what you write about, so be it. If you try to change what comes naturally you will probably find it a greater struggle to finish writing a song.

Don't stress, unless you're doing this for a living....

This.

I find that the first effort is usually the best -- it has the most innocence, spontaneity, emotion, etc. Once you start tinkering (which can be an endless process), it starts to move towards a more sanitized version. At least that's the case for me. That's not to say that editing/tinkering should not be done at all -- it usually always needs some of that. But there's a point where you just have to leave it be. Put it away for a while; come back to it later.

I hear ya man. I've pretty much settled with the fact that I'll never be "satisfied" or "like" my songwriting or singing...so why do I keep doing it? Not a clue really

There has to be some kind of goal that keeps us writing songs. Motivation doesn't just come from nowhere. The problem is, I haven't quite realized what my goals are. But like everything else I've done...once I realize my goals, then start to approach them, I put in more and more work, and get better and better. At that point you start to enjoy what you are doing and become more satisfied with your material....then you'll probably enjoy writing and performing your work. I think at this point you can actually enjoy performing some of your darkest and most depressing songs.

The problem is....what kind of goal do songwriters, singers, musicians and performers set for themselves? That I can't help with.

Music is such a primordial thing...it exists in so many natural states around us.

As conscious beings we are not satisfied with merely listening.

That's not 100% true, I think...some people are perfectly comfortable just listening. I'll make the sweeping generalization that nobody in this specific forum falls into that category, but I just think it deserves to be said that we're not the norm.

i don't really like the way i sing ... that is to say, i think someone who is a better singer could do a better job

yet, when i sing my songs, i think there is something there that no one else could do ... not necessarily good, just me ...

i decided not to seek out a good singer and have them sing for me a while back. i basically decided to do what i do. it is what it is. and it's my expression.

i guess that's the bottom line. for me, it's not about quality ultimately ... it's about me singing my songs the way only i can sing them ... for better or worse