I'm surprised I didn't pick up on that during this thread, in which you've made so many incisive comments......
Alright. If you want my opinion, gender and sexuality are two different issues. Sexuality is distinct from gender in that gender and sexual orientation are not necessarily linked by direct consistent relationship. It is therefore more fruitful to consider them as separate entities. "Straight female" is not a gender. "Straight female" is a very broad and imprecise term specifying which sex a female finds sexually attractive. It does not necessarily describe which gender a female finds attractive. Gender is far more diverse than the five or six basic sexualities people commonly associate with it (straight/gay/bi sexual male/female). Gender describes the activities one undertakes to express their sex and very often (but not always) sexual orientation. For example, I would not say that a male who is inclined to express his sexuality and gender through poetry but is attracted to females (of a particular female gender typically, rather than all female genders) is the same gender as, for example, an mma fighter who is also attracted to women. Those are disparate expressions of what could be the same sexual orientation.
However, I do not think sexual orientation is as simple as an individual being attracted to a specific sex, but is rather also descriptive of what type of gender that specific sex displays. For example, I am more attracted to artistic women, nerdy/scholarly women, and not stereotypically "girly" women than I am to atheltic women, "pretty" women, or women who are most interested in being subordinate to a strong and dominant male.
This is because my own gender is not the same as the gender those sorts of women might be interested in, partially, but also because I find it distasteful to become so invested in masculinity as to act the way I am "supposed to" act as a male. I have little interest in being the same gender as the "car guy" or the "sports guy" or the "bar guy." Those are not my natural genders. I express my sexuality through being the academic or the musician and this affects who I interact with sexually as well as the manner in which that interaction takes place.
So to say that "patriarchy" perpetuates a specific gender in women is not wrong. All gender is learned. However, to say that all or even most men have the same gender as the one associated with the patriarchal is inaccurate. All women do not, by the same token, succeed at or wish to express their gender or sexuality through the stereotypical straight female gender as defined in opposition to the typical straight male gender. I think, however, in the past the pressure to attempt to shoehorn one's behavior into only a few genders was even more prevalent and detrimental than it is today, but the problem of gender simplification is far from gone.