Anyone know anything about Vintage City Guitars?

[Nomomnom]

A business that's been around for 30 years.

 

Then why have you only been BBB accredited since May of this year?

[Rabbi Bubba]

Sounds like Rabbi Bubba has been hittin the Mogen David. L'chaim, Rabbi. Man, you are not quite knowing much about me and I've been harassed but these horrifying asses. You may endorse but I have the endorsement of LIFE: Classical musicians actually record my music so go grab your tinker toy an shove a pickle in it. Mogen David, I hate that {censored}. I like BEER, remember, it's Rabbi Bubba==Bubba drinks beer, the Rabbi is of music. I have unlimited shelf life. You drunk assed sun of a bitch.

That's "son of a bitch" and are you also The Surrogate of Vintage City? Why you messin' with me fool?

Welcome to my new HBO series, Surrogate for Vintage City Guitars, starring George Washington as the Surrogate and Ed Bubba as the harassed minor who has guitars to sell on Craigslist.

 

The plot thickens as Ed Bubba receives inquiries through the eBay system, after in the post Ed writes, in bold lettering at the top of the text "NO VINTAGE CITY GUITARS AND NIGERIAN SCAMMERS, since it has been ascertained by Ed, our hero, that the only difference between a Nigerian "Prince" and the Prince of Vintage City Guitars is that the Nigerian prince has respect for Ed's posts that asks not to bother him, and Ed also checks the holiest of holies, The Magic Button of Our Holy Craig that sends the power of "in is Not okay to contact the poster with services or commercial interests." For some reason Vintage City Guitars wears lead that blocks the Holy Power of Craig's Justice.

 

Later the Surrogate, played by George Washington, spies on Ed as Ed tries to warn the Craigslist community of guitarists about the impending doom of the Angel of Guitar Fraud, as Vintage City Guitar says, "if you fill out this form, and give personal information, we will send you your money in 24 hours." Ed, having survived the Online Form of Personal Doom and Informational Giveaway, receiving the Letter of Truth With UPS Call Tag, Ed Bubba, our hero, scales Mount Washington to find the Box of Surrogation, and opens it to find the true identity of The Surrogate.

Now, a commercial: DON'T DO BUSINESS WITH ASSHOLES FOUNDATION asks for you attention, please.

"There are less than one hundred people who have succumbed to the Guitar Idiocy Virus. Please get your shot of Information and be Informed as to Viral Scams, which can present themselves as a bumpy lesion of misinformation and subterfuge of verbiage. Read the small print like little Johnny here with his coke bottle glasses .

{censored} you GW. You and the Vintage City Guitars horse you rode in on.

[mclmk8d]

IT'S A SCAM

[Rabbi Bubba]

So you're a dippy country singer. That explains it; no disrespect to my friends that don't EVEN have a grip on music as an art but are my Bubbas none the less. Fool. You hate Jews too? Well, I'm not even Jewish. Just love the Rabbi Bubba thing, you know, learned and down-home. I'm from Savannah, GA and the country music I play is Hungarian. Got some meat.

I'll check you out and comment honestly. Although I hate country music I can assess as clinically as a scientist.

[Rabbi Bubba]

Not Country on this one but Polar Bear=I'm not your steppin' stone by the Monkeys and why rehash? It was horrifyingly boring. Dated and I go back a long {censored}ing way.

Live Myself to Death=1,000,000 other songs and I'd be really ashamed because I actually am creative, okay guitar work though but nothing I'd do because I am creative seek unusual ways to do the banal stuff most do.

Broken Man, now it was okay but again, I really think you should really think about another career. Too run of a poor mill. I guess you are proud of this stuff. Well, I'm proud to be a biped, do I shout it out all the time?

Safest Place, you are a weak singer and this one reveals it clearly. I know there are a lot of weak singers out there but they usually stay away from things that expose weakness. Your R&R stuff is better, and your song writing in this genre is also better but this last ballad, and sorry that I can't listen to all of it, is really bad, I mean really, really bad but most singers are delusional, and few are good. Most songwriters smoke too much pot to really exercise self criticism. It was embarrassing and I get embarrassed for other people. Just sensitive that way, and it is from doing what is absolutely appended on the progression of an art and the exact thing needed to make a piece of music right. Listen, you have two ends of a spectrum in music. At one end you have "product" and on the other end you have "science" or pure art unfettered by social constraints like {censored}ing words. On the latter end we are like scientist, you know, you can't rediscover gravity but you can do something interesting with it. On the other end, product, it looks towards what has sold and selling is always based on conforming to crap and some of us are highly creative and you are not even creative. So why are you {censored}ing with me? God damn it! Give me something, not a few words about being Jewish, which I am not but a Rabbi is a cool religious person cause they stay away from me and Jews are very selective.

DEATH PANELS! Can you say, DEATH PANELS? Do you want me to do a part two? My next lecture is "all of the sublime exists in the center of product and science. I will give examples so you may learn because you are a sucky musician. Really, I was embarrassed. Now why are you {censored}ing with me? I'm posting about my crappy time with Vintage City Guitars and you are a Surrogate. Where do you live? Mich?

[Rabbi Bubba]

 

A business that's been around for 30 years. Then why have you only been BBB accredited since May of this year?

 

Yes, that's a curious thing. And the thing that gets me is that they have surrogates running around flagging posts on craigslist, jumping on people who post here and blogs like this. Last night I posted and within 10 minutes a surrogate was on me {censored}ing with me. I believe I wasted him, then this country ass next on me like stink on sheet. He may not like my fancy ways of talkin' but after all I am Rabbi Bubba and I get to talk like an anthropologist AND a country singer who burned a cross last night. Best of both worlds? Well, the country music world is a really strange one, they ousted The Dixie Chicks and Garth Brooks, him for singing about an interracial relationship and for The Dixie Chicks, just talkin' 'bout our teenage president, them being against the war. What kind of world is that. I digress because I think that country music extols the lack of virtue of Bubba, which I am but not.

Hey, down home is good. I love it. Some of my best friends I only hate at the voting booth, but again I digress. Vintage City Guitars had an idea. Oh, and by the way they don't say they've been in business 30 years, they just say they have 30 years experience whatever that means. Well, I'll tell you what it means; they have 30 years of experience removing guitars from people at the lowest possible price and selling the same thing at the highest possible price. Ethical? I dunno. I want to do the same thing, can't blame the drug addled salesmen for that. Can't even blame them for doing drugs unless they are delusional. I think the idea is this: America is in a bad economic turn so people will be selling their guitars cheap and there are always people with money. Carpetbaggers 2009. Fat rich northerners, after The Civil War, buying up {censored} pennies on the dollar. You want to sell your guitar? Do it yourself. Don't turn your guitars over to carpetbaggers and carpetbaggers didn't steal outright and I'm not saying that Vintage City Guitars steals. I should work for them; I;d clean up their act because there is some way to say the truth about what thay do and I'd find it. They'd {censored}ing have to pay me a lot of money though. I am duly detained anyway. Shoot! Turn them over to Dave! He's got endorsements!!!! Load of crap. Now the true test of an art is if it causes you to wrinkle your forehead. This is as old as time itself but this crap that Dave is doing makes your forehead go placid and you look for something else to listen to. And he is {censored}ing with me why? Now I'm {censored}ing with him. What can I do? A moth drawn to a bic lighter. I'm more like Keith Ledgers portrayal of the Joker, love chaos and R&R people have become so un-chaotic that they should be with Lawrence Welk's band. Oh, so sad. Dave? Please, you could do something chaotic? I mean, an actually codified song but something that brings an unsettled mystery. I know you hate words Dave. I heard your songs. A lyricist that hates words.

[Talmak]

Am receiving suspicious emails from Steven and a James Wilton from Vintage City Guitars and they are managing to hit all of the Internet Fraud Warning/Alert buttons mentioned by Craig's List...this company only just received a Better Business Cert as of May 2009, they (Mr. James Wilton) want to buy my guitar even though I specifically stated I was dealing locally only; supposedly sent me a check for 6 times my asking price (original email says they would make payment via PayPal) and attributes the mistake to an error at their finance house (who has a finance house??) while dealing with a potentially fatal family emergency, now wants me to work with his shipping company via Western Union and follows all of this up with a plethora of "May God bless you..." Ok, I may feel like a horse's ass if he' for real, but his emails read like a laundry list for how to get taken on the internet.