Funniest Lyrics thread

[Jesse_Wray]

Just about anything by the Beastie Boys brings teh lols big time.

[scarecrowbob]

Originally posted by nklarow Wow. That scares me.

 

That's just vogon poetry for ya.

[aqualung211]

Originally posted by SirPsychoBuddha well i thought i would post the worst and most disgusting lyrics to a song i have ever herd....enjoy: {censored}ing an animal! Drinking 50 beers {censored}ing an animal! Blowing 50 steers {censored}ing an animal! Oh im a {censored}ing queer {censored}ing an animal! these disgusting lyrics are brought to you by the weird old band of GWAR.

 

YOU SHALL NOW RECIEVE.....THE HEAT SEEKING MOISTURE MISSILE!!!!!!

[Kabaalk]

This ballgame's in the refrigerator,

The door is closed,

The lights are out,

And the butter's getting hard.

 

What a splendid pie,

Pizza-pizza pie,

Every minute, every second,

Buy, buy, buy, buy buy,

What a splendid pie,

Pizza-pizza pie,

Every minute, every second,

Buy, buy, buy, buy buy.

 

Pepperoni and green peppers

Mushrooms, olive, chives,

Pepperoni and green peppers

Mushrooms, olive, chives.

 

Need therapy, therapy,

Advertising causes need,

Therapy, therapy,

Advertising causes.

[Kabaalk]

Hey amigos . . .

Adelante amigos . . .

Vamos vamos mi amor

Me gusta mucho tu sabor

No no no no tu coraz

[Kabaalk]

You know... I think this tripple post has made me realize that I'm hungry...

[nklarow]

That's just vogon poetry for ya.

 

Well... I'm just gonna sit outta this thread.

[SirPsychoBuddha]

This ballgame's in the refrigerator,

 

That song makes me laugh.

[theDan]

"Braile (For Stevie Wonders Eyes Only)" by Bring Me the Horizon (a deathcore band from the UK)

 

It's 3:18, mouth tastes like the corpse of every pregnant teen,

The minutes are hours, the hours are days,

I feel infected by your presence, you speak in tounges,

I smell the lies dancing on your blackened lungs,

 

I whispered in her ear:

Fear me dear, for I am Death,

I'll take your hope, your dreams, your love,

Till there's nothing left

 

I whispered in her ear:

You better fear me dear, for I am Death,

And I'll take that {censored} you call a life,

And I'll see them {censored}ing break

 

I'll take your hope,

I'll take your {censored}ing dreams,

I'll take your love,

I'll take everything you {censored}ing bitch,

 

I'll steal the diamonds from your eyes,

I'll turn your promises into lies,

I'll steal the diamonds from your eyes,

I'll turn your promises into lies,

 

It's 3:18, mouth tastes like the corpse of every pregnant teen,

The hours are days, the days are dead,

I feel infected by your presence, you speak in tounges,

I smell the lies dancing on your blackened lungs,

 

I hear the fear in your voice, but you shouldn't feel a thing,

Your life's already worse than any pain that I could bring,

That I could bring,

That I could bring,

 

I could make it December every day,

But you're so blind, it may as well be May,

 

And I whispered in her ear:

You better fear me dear, for this is Death

And I whispered in her ear:

Fear me, 'cause I am Death

 

One more time,

 

I whispered in her ear:

Fear me dear, for I am Death,

I'll take everything you ever loved

 

I whispered in her ear:

You better fear me, for I am Death.

For I am Death.

For I am Death

 

Bitch

 

 

(It's funny cause they're like dead serious and are really into that stuff, and if you listen to the song, the screaming just makes it funnier)

[Bronze_Addict]

 

Originally posted by Walt Disney WTF?

 

 

It's called "Old Skin" by Acid Bath it's on their 2nd CD called "Pagan Terriorism Tactics." It was released around '96 I think.

[tripod trilogy]

"pearl harbor sucked just a little bit more than i love you"

 

really, any song from that movie cracks me up.

[JWL]

 

 

Skip it forward to 1 minute 50 and wait for lyrics impro

[wuzza]

Oh-ewwoo,...... Mine...Is Bigger, It's Bigger Than Yers 'Cause Yers Is Not Mine

The Lengths That Mine Can Go To... The Spew-Spray In Yer Eye

Oh No I Drank Too Much...Can't Get It Up

I Thought That I Heard You Laughing, I Thought That I Heard You Scu-reeem

I Think I Got Some On Yer Pie

Well That's Me In The Corner, That's Me In The Spot...Light

Losin' My Erection,... Trying To Keep It Hard Fer Yew

And I Don't Know If I Can Screw Ut, ...I Try, and Try.

[Wellhungarian]

I'm a drummer. I don't listen to the {censored}ing lyrics.

[vinniewannabe]

 

Hey amigos . . . Adelante amigos . . . Vamos vamos mi amor Me gusta mucho tu sabor No no no no tu coraz

[SirPsychoBuddha]

 

Hey amigos . . . Adelante amigos . . . Vamos vamos mi amor Me gusta mucho tu sabor No no no no tu coraz

[Drumming4Him]

Almost anything in Dr. Dre's "Next Episode" (2000).

[blsmn]

Out of the sea, oh Aphrodite,

Out of the foam, oh Aphrodite,

Born from the sea green penis,

Goddess of love,

Goddess of belly love,

Aphrodite, out of the froth....

 

 

 

and a classic from the Fugs;

 

Pump, pump, pump, pump, spurt, spurt, spurt, spurt,

{censored}ing, {censored}ing, {censored}ing, {censored}ing,

Wet Dream....

[vinniewannabe]

What? No Frank?

 

 

SY BORG:

May I have this dance?

And JOE, looking sharp in his housewife costume with the napkin

on

his head and the yellow chiffon apron, responds boldly by

repeating the

entreaty originally delivered in Deutsch in its conversational

English form,

so that his intentions regarding the Appliance will be made

perfectly clear...

 

JOE:

I've got a better idea...

{censored} me, you ugly son of a bitch

You ugly son of a bitch

{censored} me, you ugly son of a bitch

Stick it out

Stick out yer hot curly weenie

Stick it out

Stick out yer hot curly weenie

Stick it out

Stick out yer hot curly weenie

Weenie.. .weenie, weenie, weenie!

Make it go fast

In and out,

Magical Pig

Make it go fast

In and out,

Magical Pig

Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts

Fire

Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts

Fire

Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa

Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa

Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa

Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa

[blsmn]

 

What? No Frank?

 

 

Sure thing:)

 

I have been in you, baby

You have been in me

Aw' little girl, there ain't no time

To wash yer stinky hand

Go 'head 'n' roll over

I'm goin' in you again

In you again

In you again

In you again...

[Watchdog]

Type 0 Negative:

 

Now I don't know whose ass you've licked

No {censored}-tongued boy will ever taste my dick

He says:

"How 'bout no sex - we'll just be friends"

Hey no thanks Pal, I'll stick to lesbians

You're right

A sexist pig, I guess it's true

(I hate all men including you)

I don't care what you think of me

'Cause -

 

I like goils

Bad goils all over this world

 

I'm quite flattered that you think I'm cute

But I don't deal well with compacted poop

So look,

If my views make you annoyed

You're just jealous I don't have hemorrhoids

So now,

To make it clear that you can't bone me

My tattooed ass reads "exit only"

I don't care much for sodomy

'Cause -

 

I like goils

Bad goils all over this world

[Prankmonkey]

I didn't check the whole thread, so sorry if these have been posted, but since I'm a fair singer, I just can't get through this Johnny Cash song without cracking up. Of course, It's "Delia's Gone":

 

"Delia's Gone"

 

Delia, oh, Delia Delia all my life

If I hadn't have shot poor

Delia I'd have had her for my wife

Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

 

I went up to Memphis

And I met Delia there Found her in her parlor

And I tied to her chair

Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

 

She was low down and trifling

And she was cold and mean

Kind of evil make me want to Grab my sub machine

Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

 

First time I shot her I shot her in the side

Hard to watch her suffer

But with the second shot she died

Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

 

But jailer, oh, jailer Jailer,

I can't sleep 'Cause all around my bedside

I hear the patter of Delia's feet

Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

 

So if you woman's devilish

You can let her run

Or you can bring her down and do her

Like Delia got done

Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

 

And don't forget Alice Cooper's "Cold Ethyl":

 

"Cold Ethyl"

 

One thing I miss

Is Cold Ethyl and her skeleton kiss

We met last night

Making love by the refrigerator light

 

Ethyl, Ethyl, let me squeeze you in my arms

Ethyl, Ethyl, come and freeze me with your charms

 

One thing, no lie

Ethyl's frigid as an Eskimo Pie

She's cool in bed

And she ought to be...'cause Ethyl's dead

 

Ethyl, Ethyl, let me squeeze you in my arms

Ethyl, Ethyl, come and freeze me with your charms

 

Come on, Cold Ethyl

Freeze me, babe

 

One thing, it's true

Cold Ethyl, I am stuck on you

And everything is my way

Ethyl don't have much to say

 

Ethyl, Ethyl, let me squeeze you in my arms

Ethyl, Ethyl, come and freeze me with your charms

 

Come here, Cold Ethyl

What makes you so cold?

Ooh, so cold...ooh...

Cold Ethyl, Cold, Cold Ethyl

Cold Ethyl, Cold, Cold Ethyl

Cold Ethyl, Cold, Cold Ethyl

Cold Ethyl, Cold, Cold Ethyl

 

If I live till I'm 97

You'll still be waiting in refrigerator heaven

Cause you're cool, you're ice

Cold Ethyl, you're my paradise

 

Yep, some pretty out there lyrics. Prank