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Any funny one liners you always say on stage?.


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if there is one thing you can avoid saying it's, "Are you ready to rock?!" *feedback, cough in back row, crickets chirping, sweat hitting floor*

 

never say that with ANY enthusiasm, unless you know the crowd is with you :mad:

 

i'm too nervous to talk on stage as it is - i let my bassist do that :rolleyes:

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Hahahaha....this is getting funnier and funnier!. :D :D :D :D :D :D

There was once i started playing the intro of the song "Everthing I do, I do it for You" on the Keyboard when I felt an itch on my left arm. I paused.....with the sustain pedal still engaged....and said " Sorry....itchy.." and proceeded to scratch my left arm....and continued!. They laughed of course.....and I will flash them my gorgeous smile. ;)

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My band covers a Dave Matthews song called #41. Whenever we start to play, I always say "This is a song written by a good friend of mine..." Once people hear who it's from, they usually laugh a little. Other than that, I don't try to be funny, because people who try to be funny on stage tend NOT to be....

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Originally posted by scubyfan

hey stunning babe, were you really miss malaysia? i'd be interested in seeing pics of you singing playing or whatever, if you want
:)
my email's in my profile

 

scubyfan...go to Open Jam forum....search for ABBA. You will see my picture there.

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Hey, I've got one. I was more of an off-the-cuff quipper, but...One time, my band, "Rocker's Rockets"* got into a HUGE fight on stage. You know the type - two guys sniping at each other, everyone else saying "shut up and play!" Soon it evolved into all of us fighting. Then we went into a song, and when we were done people were cheering (because we played great when we hated each other.)

 

So I leaned into the mic and said, "Thank you! We're Rocker's Rockets, the most self-loathing band in Cleveland!"

 

Guess you had to be there.

 

Another one is whenever some drunken female in the audience screamed something, we'd say "Thanks for coming out tonight, Mom!" Good for some chuckles.

 

 

 

* not really our name

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You know how people always come up and request like free bird or AC-DC ? We have a little stint in our show thats all for us and we have had the croud pissing in their pants.What we do is we will start the song and as soon as the croud stars to go crazy we say (Oh we dont know that one) Then into the next one, and again (Well we dont know that one either) then on to the next till we cover all the usual requests and in a nice way belittled the usual drunk requester....

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Originally posted by stunningbabe

ekans.....I'd be careful if I were you. No knowing what these drunkards might do to you if you 'offend' them too much by doing what you did. That will surely piss a lotta these fellas off.

Who ???????

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In response to hecklers?

hmmmmm......

 

Heckler: "You Suck!"

Me: Into Microphone "Thanks Dad"

or: "Boy, I remember my first beer too..." (implying that the guy is drunk)

or "Ladies and gentlemen, my high school guidance counselor is in the audience with us tonight"

 

Crowd loves it-

 

 

OR:

After playing a song that doesn't go over well...maybe one person clapping..

"Thanks Mom" or "the president of our fan club drove all the way down from Cleveland to see us tonight"

 

Crowd Laughs

 

If a guy really pisses me off I ask if he can do better-

usually no takers.

Or the re-take on the previous post:

"Why are you heckling me? I'm working up here. I don't go to where you work and slap dicks out of your mouth while you are trying to earn a living..."

Just make sure you have the balls to back that one up if it gets ugly.

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Bryan...hehehe....great job with your PR skill on stage. What you said is pretty good. Don't let these hecklers control us. WE CONTROL THEM!. :mad: Right?.

 

After all......all of us will have our share of hecklers one time or another......so it doesn't hurt to share with all the forumites here the ways you handle these hecklers wisely. I still think funny statements always get the message across.

 

The crowd will laugh and that surely will piss off the heckler you just told off in a humourous way. Agree?. ;)

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