Members Zeromus-X Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 Random off-topic from me, but I've been trying to decide on a few things lately and hell, you guys are as good as any, I suppose. Very long so anyone who makes it through, I appreciate it! I'm 25, done with school, make enough to survive on my own. I've been working my same job for nine years now (computer tech). I've hesitated to find anything "better" (or even anything that would actually use my degree) simply because I've been able to survive where I'm at, and I'm a complacent son of a bitch. Lately I've been getting the urge to try something new. I figure I need to decide what I want to do, and I need to make that decision before I'm locked into a job with a house and kids. I've constantly thought about moving somewhere on the other side of the US; I'm near Va Beach on the East coast right now, and every time I've been out there, I've loved it. I spent a few weeks in Flagstaff, AZ, a few days in Phoenix, and a couple weeks in Vegas, and the weather is great, the housing market and job market seems great, etc. It's a hell of a move, because all my family/etc is here and in New York... quite a ways away from Arizona/Nevada! With my current situation, I live paycheck to paycheck, but I live, and I tend to be able to afford things I shouldn't. In order to move, I'm sure I'm going to need at least $4,000-$6,000 saved up (post-trip money) from the research I've done online. That covers me for a place to stay while trying to find a job, and as a worst case, covers me for getting home if it doesn't work out. I'm also becoming increasingly unhappy about my current residence; nothing but problems lately. Water damage at the bottom of the walls near the floor, cracked bathtub, floor is actually non-existant in one place. Expensive things that insurance won't cover. My dad lives about five minutes away. I work with him; we get along very well. If I were to move out of here and move in with him, that means my utility and rent money goes to nil, essentially (except for paying whatever he asks for, which will undoubtedly be less than I'm paying now). I'll be down to a car payment and a cellphone bill, which leaves me ~$1000 "play money" a month. This means I could be debt-free in about four months, and have enough saved up by the end of the year to be in a position to move. So, I'm curious as to what anyone else thinks of this situation, if they were in it. Do you think you'd do it? Am I crazy for it? It seems to make sense, but the idea of moving back in with my dad at 25 with a college degree just kinda goes against everything I've been working for! All my friends still live at home and I just can't seem to imagine it... but they also don't have the higher education (or motivation) to do anything about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members K7Baixo Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 Nothing wrong with it as long as you and your parents set some ground rules. Do you think they'll be cool with the hours that you may keep? Are you disciplended enough enough to save money? There's a ton of considerations that you should discuss with them to make sure you're all on the same page. Life here in PHX is pretty good. The job market is pretty strong but not so much in Flag. Las Vegas should be fairly robust also. May I ask - what do you do? What are your skills? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members catphish Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 hel yeah! if my wife wouldn't mind.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zeromus-X Posted February 17, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 Life here in PHX is pretty good. The job market is pretty strong but not so much in Flag. Las Vegas should be fairly robust also. May I ask - what do you do? What are your skills? Yeah, I can't imagine Flagstaff would be a booming tech center ... but there seems to be plenty of that in the surrounding larger areas. I've got a computer science degree with a minor in Impacts of Technology; I've been a tech for nine years, like I said; I'm Oracle SQL certified, and can pass a CCNA or Oracle DBA cert exam if required (have taken the classes and have the books, just don't have the certification because I really don't want to do any jobs that would require a CCNA or Oracle DBA cert!). Quite fluent in C++, fluent in Java, some experience with C#, ActionScript, OpenGL programming. I can type really fast, too, which means even getting something like a secretarial position shouldn't be difficult while I look for something else (can usually go about 80-100 words per minute @ 100% accuracy). I do have a place locally that has already said they want me, but I keep hesitating with it... still not sure if it's what I'm looking for. The pay is good and I'd have my own little office-esque thing, and it's programming. But it appears to be a very difficult job, especially relative to my current one, and I'd have to drop a lot of my gigs if I took it... which is currently pretty darn good money. Losing my current band gig routine which is typically 2-3 shows a week is almost enough of a loss that the pay raise from my current "real" job to the new one isn't that much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jazz Ad Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I took my time to leave the house (I was 24) but never intended to go back.I'm too independant for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zeromus-X Posted February 17, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I took my time to leave the house (I was 24) but never intended to go back.I'm too independant for that. Pretty much what I'm concerned with. Been on my own since I was 18, and it seems too weird to change that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToeJamFootball Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I moved out when I was 17, spent a year at one house, got kicked out of one and moved out a couple more in the space of a month. My mum bought a flat in town so I moved in there, mum is only here on the weekends, so i pretty much have the place to myself. Id say do it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members beginner01 Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 You are supposed to be grown up.Your parents are supposed to be done "raising" you.they probably want to enjoy "their" life now.Unless they beg you to come back or the next step is"homelessness",be a MAN. Best wishes:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToeJamFootball Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I don't think being a man has anything to do with it, in fact I think moving back home is the smart thing to do in his situation. He can save the money he wants to use to move faster, why not do it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jmb374 Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I think as a means to an end it sounds like a good plan. Just be sure that the extra $1000 a month goes to savings/debt payment, not satisfying GAS. I moved in with my dad for 5 months after Hurricane Katrina, to help him clean up our family tree farm. It was a good experience all in all. I would never move back in with my mom. I love her and she is a great mother, but she still thinks I'm 14 (I'm 28). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members beginner01 Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 unless his parents TOTALLY agree.........thats reason enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blueyedmule Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 Getting to know your parents as an adult can be a very good experience. It can be an opportunity to build a new kind of relationship with them. However, I'd only do it if there was a time frame, a launch date. I've been the boomerang kid, when I got out of the military after a simultaneous war and divorce. I was a wreck, it took me several years to figure out what to do with myself. My parents were good enough to give me that time to work it out while I lived with them. Sometimes it was maddening, frustrating, socially isolating. . ..but in the end it did work out for the best. Talk with your folks, be honest about your goals, talk about what they expect from you as far as behavior, rent/food costs, etc. If it doesn't sound like it will work, be up front about that too. Good luck! Come on out to the west coast, you can take my place. I'm probably headed for NY/Vermont in the next couple years anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zeromus-X Posted February 17, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 Well, it's not really a matter of "getting to know them". I've worked with my dad for nine years now. My mom passed away in 2002, so it's just him and my little brother there, who I see pretty much every day anyway. I think it's more of me seeing it as a "step backwards" than anything. I'm sure if I can get over that, it's a good idea... just seems so ... wrong! Ah well, thanks guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members K7Baixo Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 It's only a step backwards if you don't move towards your goals - which are solid. I'd go for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BEAD Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 It's only a step backwards if you don't move towards your goals - which are solid. I'd go for it. I agree. I moved out when I was 18, and I'm 25. If I was in your situation and I was fixed on moving I'd go ahead and move in with my father so long as my short term goals didn't include getting laid much and my dad was ok with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members burdizzos Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I'd say do it if you are serious about a change, but if you're going to just piss away the extra income, then it would be far worse than staying in your current place. Personally, I'd try to find a solution that enabled me to stay on my own yet still allow me to work toward a goal. You should get your Oracle cert and work toward any other certification that would be helpful. My father's girlfriend is an Oracle admin and every time she takes a contract job, the company pays her a relocation allowance. She's in Charlotte now and she makes a bundle. If you get your certification and actively start looking for jobs, you should be able to find one that will pay you to move or set you up temporarily until you can find a place to live. The time to look for a job isn't after you've moved somewhere. you should be looking for jobs now as a means to determine where you want to live. that way you can compare the advantages and disadvantages of the jobs and locations so that you can make the best decision. Leaving the hometown takes balls, especially when you've got a comfortable existence. Good on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dark Slide Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members One Bad Monkey Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 Well, it's not really a matter of "getting to know them". I've worked with my dad for nine years now. My mom passed away in 2002, so it's just him and my little brother there, who I see pretty much every day anyway.I think it's more of me seeing it as a "step backwards" than anything. I'm sure if I can get over that, it's a good idea... just seems so ... wrong!Ah well, thanks guys. Considering how you've presented it, I wouldn't consider it a step backwards. If you are serious about moving and saving money to do so, then this would be a situation where you know that you are there for a fixed amount of time. You're moving back with a purpose in mind, and if you approach it that way, that is being a MAN about it. Case in point; my buddy got a teaching job right out of college near his hometown (about a 25 min. commute). He sat down with his mom and asked to move back home for the first year. The way he outlined it, he could pay off his credit cards, car and a good chunk of his student loan before he moved into an apartment. His mom asked him to pay a small amount to help cover the extra utilities and such, and after 9 months, he was out the door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members T. Alan Smith Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I took my time to leave the house (I was 24) but never intended to go back.I'm too independant for that. +1 ....'cept I was 22. 'Rents were glad to see me go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members s4001 Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 At my age, the concern is more the parents moving in with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mobass Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I'm 24, and just moved back home. I'm starting barber school march 20th for nine months, and wont have a job, so wont be able to afford rent. It'll only be for a year or so though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bassplayinguy Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I took my time to leave the house (I was 24) but never intended to go back.I'm too independant for that. Im 22 and I still live at home (although I am currently saving for my house) and I dont mind it, granted both my parents still work full time and I am not at home all the time either. But I am done school and work full time, and have for the past 8 months. But as it goes, my parents have told me not to worry about moving out in a hurry. I dont have to pay rent either, which really helps in the saving. But the biggest thing is being disciplined enough to save that money up and not blow it. Have you thought about maybe doing someting part time to earn some extra money? If you are acutally focused on leaving, it may be a way to earn the money you need rather quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hawkhuff Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I would think no, you can't. The saying 'you can never go home again' is true. Both you and your parents get a taste of that independence and both will usually get accustomed. That is, of course, there are some unhealthy co-dependence issues. I love talkin' psychobabble. :blah: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bholder Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I did, for a bit under 2 years, after graduating college - had started work, lived in my old room in the basement for a while saving up money for my first house. I did contribute financially, though (probably not enough). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldivor Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 I love my parents and we get along great but no. After I finish college I'm moving out for good. While I am in college, summers are at home, working and/or summer school. I love them to death but I don't think I could. Remember you're working with your dad also so going to your job won't get you away from them also. Just a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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