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So - Im unwinding after my gig, rappin with you people on the forum, when I hear this crash and bang, and out of my chimney pops out the red-suited fat man--- Jolly, my ass! -- Hes slingin' packages under the tree (a la glass-break UPS style), and is bitchin' and moanin' about work ( 1 day a year, ya fat phuk!) and - what's more - is that his breath smells like a lethal combination of Jack Daniels, garlic, and ass. So, trying to be cordial, I say "Hi Santa" and the fat bastard wants to know where my bathroom is...So I tell him and he helps himself to a ten-minute long grunt-and-splashfest....When he comes out, he asks where his cookies are.. I said, "I don't have any"...The fat M/F gives me a dirty look out of those drunk runny-egg eyes of his and then proceeds to take back two packages and disappears up the chimney.....In the meanwhile, the fat fukker stunk up my house (the bathroom smells like rotten fish and turds) and - to top it all off - the bastard didn't flush the toilet!!!


...Im gonna call the cops on that bastard.....it would be a funny thing to go up the road a ways and see some flashing blue lights that have pulled over a reindeer-driven sleigh and a cop making the fatman "walk-the-line"...............


Anybody else seen the bastage?

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