Moderators BATCAT Posted August 17, 2012 Moderators Share Posted August 17, 2012 I wear a few different hats, and one of them is drummer. I've never been able to deliver much flash, but I think my timing and groove are pretty good, and I'm pretty laid back and dependable, so I get more than a few offers to join bands. So... around a year ago, aside from fronting my own band, I was also playing drums in two projects that practiced 1-2 times a week and gigged every month or so... kept me fairly busy. Then, a good friend who I've worked with musically a lot over the years decided to start his first band, writing and fronting for it. He asked me to play drums. I said sure, but told hime my schedule was already pretty full. We ended up having a lot of scheduling issues (not just coming from me, it was band-wide) with rehearsals. I just tried to learn the stuff as well as I could on my own, but it didn't help that a)the songs he writes often have really complicated structures, and b)he kept adding/removing songs from the setlist, so we were kind of chasing our tails. A couple months into it, he let both me and the bass player know that he wanted to form a different lineup with people who had more time to devote to it. I said that was fine and I understood. A few months later he emailed me saying "I'm having a really hard time finding a reliable drummer. Do you think you could play with me again?" I kind of laughed but said ok... but as we started working together again I put some pressure on him to stick to a fixed setlist so we could get up and running. That part went well. I made myself available to practice once a week, with the occasional extra one, and I put in a fair bit of time on my own learning the songs. This is all, mind you, for a band with no gigs booked. As the weeks went by, we started getting close to having an actual set down and started talking about booking some shows. Good deal, right? My friend started wanting to practice more and more, scheduling sometimes three or even four practices a week and asking if I could make them. I let hime know I was totally down for weekly ones and the occasional extra one, but more than that I just couldn't swing. So a little bit later he let me know he really wanted to play with a drummer who could practice more, if I couldn't. I was slightly miffed after putting in all the effort, but hey, it was good practice to learn all the stuff, and if he could find someone who wanted to practice three times a week with no gigs booked, hey, go for it if it makes you happy. So I stepped out. (again!) One of the other projects I played drums in went on hiatus, so with "only" two bands going I actually was enjoying having a more relaxed schedule. A couple months went by and then I got this email today... Hey Will, I was wondering if you'd be down to play drums for me again. Our current drummer got in a gnarly fight with our bass player and he's got to go. Let me know what you think. Pretty pleaaassaeeee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 992gnt Posted August 17, 2012 Members Share Posted August 17, 2012 Well at least you know how it's gonna go down! :poke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MusicalSchizo Posted August 17, 2012 Members Share Posted August 17, 2012 HA HA HA - you're the "backup ass". I love it. The musical equivalent of the 2am booty call... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators BATCAT Posted August 17, 2012 Author Moderators Share Posted August 17, 2012 HA HA HA - you're the "backup ass". I love it. The musical equivalent of the 2am booty call... I know, exactly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted August 17, 2012 Members Share Posted August 17, 2012 Are you going to do it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators BATCAT Posted August 17, 2012 Author Moderators Share Posted August 17, 2012 Are you going to do it? Probably. I'm going to let him know what my current schedule/availability is like and ask if he thinks it'll work. There hasn't been any drama (for me at least;, this bassist/drummer dustup is the first thing of that sort I've heard, and my friend is extremely laid back), it's good practice for me as a drummer, and he's a good friend. If I'm the "backup guy", I don't really care, although I'd like to be a "backup guy" who does so for gigs and not just practices, obvious... but it's still a pretty new band. He's new to actually running a band and I think he's making the mistake of overrehearsing instead of really focusing on rehearsing to be show-ready while accepting that noting replaces stage time. He'll figure it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FitchFY Posted August 17, 2012 Members Share Posted August 17, 2012 Kind of an aside, but I maintain what sets a good drummer apart from a bad one is confidence. You have to know you're doing it right to really deliver that unshakable groove. This man clearly knows you're good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted August 17, 2012 Members Share Posted August 17, 2012 Probably. I'm going to let him know what my current schedule/availability is like and ask if he thinks it'll work. There hasn't been any drama (for me at least;, this bassist/drummer dustup is the first thing of that sort I've heard, and my friend is extremely laid back), it's good practice for me as a drummer, and he's a good friend. If I'm the "backup guy", I don't really care, although I'd like to be a "backup guy" who does so for gigs and not just practices, obvious... but it's still a pretty new band. He's new to actually running a band and I think he's making the mistake of overrehearsing instead of really focusing on rehearsing to be show-ready while accepting that noting replaces stage time. He'll figure it out. We've all done it. Could you book a show without him knowing about it and just surprise him with it? I did that to a guy once. He was super pissed but once we got through the first song and he realized this was going to be fun he loosened up and had a blast. He was really grateful I did it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members caeman Posted August 17, 2012 Members Share Posted August 17, 2012 1. It sounds like he got the First Gig Jitters. 2. I would respectfully say "no". It seems like the OP's time is already committed to music and some free time is needed to unwind before going insane. Twice invited, twice asked to leave. Maybe he was hoping that if you practiced with him enough, you would be convinced to drop the other projects? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted August 17, 2012 Members Share Posted August 17, 2012 1. It sounds like he got the First Gig Jitters.2. I would respectfully say "no". It seems like the OP's time is already committed to music and some free time is needed to unwind before going insane. Twice invited, twice asked to leave. Maybe he was hoping that if you practiced with him enough, you would be convinced to drop the other projects? I don't think 2 is the case. I think 1 in conjunction with how important he sees the project is making him over rehearse. Like squid already said when it comes to getting a band tight, there is no replacement for time on stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators BATCAT Posted August 17, 2012 Author Moderators Share Posted August 17, 2012 Could you book a show without him knowing about it and just surprise him with it? I did that to a guy once. He was super pissed but once we got through the first song and he realized this was going to be fun he loosened up and had a blast. He was really grateful I did it. That's hilarious. I probably wouldn't do it but I'm keeping that idea in my back pocket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members joshmac Posted August 17, 2012 Members Share Posted August 17, 2012 I don't think you should do it......again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members StratGuy22 Posted August 17, 2012 Members Share Posted August 17, 2012 The more things change, the more they stay the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanlatte Posted August 17, 2012 Members Share Posted August 17, 2012 I say good on you, being well rounded keeps a lot of doors open. Working out pretty well for Dave Grohl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gspointer Posted August 17, 2012 Members Share Posted August 17, 2012 I hope he hasn't had a big backslide and rewrote the songs or the set list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators BATCAT Posted August 17, 2012 Author Moderators Share Posted August 17, 2012 I hope he hasn't had a big backslide and rewrote the songs or the set list. I wrote him and didn't answer either way.. the relevant part of my reply was: What is the [friend's band] schedule like these days (is it Wed, Thurs, and Sat per the [online shared] calendar?) , and where are you guys at with regard to the set, potentially playing out, and so on? I should have mentioned, we already share a practice space. Having my drums already there makes joining and leaving the band every few weeks somewhat easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members philbo Posted August 18, 2012 Members Share Posted August 18, 2012 It sounds like the dude wants perfection. He is bound to be disappointed; nothing ever goes perfectly at any gig. You should let him know how flattered you are by his indecision as to whether he wants you in the group, and how much confidence it gives you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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