Members nat whilk II Posted February 14, 2014 Members Share Posted February 14, 2014 I'm some kind of weird contrarian, I guess, but these lyrics just wrote themselves today, on Valentine's Day of all days. Don't worry, things are fine at home - in fact in a few minutes we're going out for a V-Day splurge. I've got chords and melody for the verses, but not the bridge - need I say this is a very blue mood tune?? I'll post up music when I get the bridge melody & chords worked out - Me and You V1 I know you’re sorry I’m sorry too I know you’re not happy both of us blue just what are we going to do? me & you. V2 how many years now? where did they go? I just don’t know how things got so low what will be left when we’re through? me & you. Bridge shall I throw a fit shout a bit wave my arms around awhile and say “I quit!” or shall I, hang my head weep instead quietly, eventually, just go back to bed? lead section V3 simple question we’ve got to ask simple suggestion, if we’re up to the task drink up or toss out this old flat home brew me & you. nat whilk ii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted February 14, 2014 Members Share Posted February 14, 2014 Great! Other than "both of us blue" which felt a bit too free-form for the rest of the lyric, nothing bothers me in the least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted February 14, 2014 Members Share Posted February 14, 2014 Oswlek wrote: Great! Other than "both of us blue" which felt a bit too free-form for the rest of the lyric, nothing bothers me in the least. I agree, except I quite ike the "both of us blue" line (depending on how it fits the music)... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members saturn1 Posted February 14, 2014 Members Share Posted February 14, 2014 I like it. Except, the second to last line doesn't seem to fit with the rest. It's an entirely different kind of image - which may be the point - and the meter seems a syllable or two too long. While that could be resolved with the music, I would hear something likeGive it up or work it through Now, I see that you used the 'through - you' rhyme once already. Maybe 'Give it up or make it new.'Or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nat whilk II Posted February 14, 2014 Author Members Share Posted February 14, 2014 Thks for the input. I think I'll keep the "both of us blue" line - sings super easy and alliterates Yeah, I'm going to drop the "flat" and just go with "old home brew". The "flat" implies just a dead relationship, but the bridge implies that maybe there's more bad stuff going on than that - I'm pretty pumped about the musical side - these lyrics are, to me, good, but the music I'm hoping will be great (with all due humility I say such things) nat whilk ii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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