Members BillyGrahamCracker Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 "Thom Yorke's Lazy Eye, or You Could Go to Jail for Looking at That" (A True Story...from Tonight) Mr. Cracker: I put the baby to bed...What in the hell are you watching? Is that 7th Heaven? That's still on? Where's Jessica Biel? Mrs. Cracker: I don't think she's on it anymore. Mr. C.: Is that the youngest daughter? How old is she now?!?! Mrs. C.: EWWWWW!!!! Mr. C.: DAMN! They cut away from that shot before they showed her butt. Mrs. C.: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Mr. C.: Oh, at the grocery today, I saw the new Cosmo. Scarlett Johannsen's on the cover. Are you gonna get it? Mrs. C.: Probably not. She's {censored}ing Vince Vaughn, I think. Mr. C.: No she's not. She's {censored}ing that one ugly Mexican actor. She {censored}ed him in the elevator at the Oscars. Mrs. C.: You mean Vince Vaughn? Mr. C.: No. That one that you think is hot.....What's his name? Benicio Del Toro! Mrs. C.: I think Vince Vaughn is hot. Mr. C.: She broke up with that Jared Leto guy because he's addicted to cocaine. Mrs. C.: Isn't he in a fake band or something? Mr. C.: Yeah. They're like one of those bands who's taken like just the space rock aspect of Radiohead and does just that and isn't very good at it and uses lots of effects to try and hide that fact. And they have a drugged-out ex-teen idol as their frontman. Mrs. C.: I have a confession to make.... Mr. C.: What? You think Jared Leto is hot? Mrs. C.: No. I HATE Radiohead. I always have. *Mr. Cracker staggers to the back computer room/office, where he types up a short drama and then expires in a forlorn heap.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jcn37203 Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 The more she abuses you, the more I like her. Can she come back to the forum? Does she still remember her password? I think it would be fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members palthegiraffe Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Thanks for the one-act drama. In the short interval between putting Daughter of Giraffe to bed and Mrs. Giraffe's slide into pregnancy-induced early sleep, there was a short discussion that included her memories of the Falcons being terrible when she went to college in Atlanta, Rutherford B. Hayes, and the topic "What is Vegemite?" It was all over pretty quickly. She loves Radiohead, for whatever that's worth, while I know less about them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BillyGrahamCracker Posted September 13, 2005 Author Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Originally posted by palthegiraffe Thanks for the one-act drama.In the short interval between putting Daughter of Giraffe to bed and Mrs. Giraffe's slide into pregnancy-induced early sleep, there was a short discussion that included her memories of the Falcons being terrible when she went to college in Atlanta, Rutherford B. Hayes, and the topic "What is Vegemite?" It was all over pretty quickly.She loves Radiohead, for whatever that's worth, while I know less about them. I keep hearing about this vegemite stuff here and there. It's Australian, I think. Next time TikiRocker is on, we should start a thread asking what it is. Rutherford B. Hayes was an awful man. Question about colleges in Atlanta. The black college there is Morehouse, right? And the one in DC is Howard, right? Do you know which one Hillman (from the Cosby-spinoff "A Different World") was supposed to be? And Elie doesn't hate Radiohead. I think she was always indifferent about them, but has endured too many years of my, my brother, and a couple of she and my close friends all ranting and raving over them like lunatics. So I'm sure Mrs. Giraffe would understand the pain that I sometimes feel being married to a non-Radiohead-head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members palthegiraffe Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Originally posted by BillyGrahamCracker Question about colleges in Atlanta. The black college there is Morehouse, right? And the one in DC is Howard, right? Do you know which one Hillman (from the Cosby-spinoff "A Different World") was supposed to be? Mrs. G attended the whitest college in town, Emory. She loved it there, though. Morehouse is Atlanta, as are Georgia Tech and Georgia State. I hated The Cosby Show (I had to give up an evening of planned adult activities with a girlfriend when she found out that the final episode of that show was coming on, and I still haven't forgiven her or Bill C.) and know nothing of its spinoffs. So I'm sure Mrs. Giraffe would understand the pain that I sometimes feel being married to a non-Radiohead-head. I'm just out of the loop, and have even gone to the effort of putting a couple of their albums on the iPod for worktime listening. On the other hand, she hates at least a few of my own albums, particularly the first Cruci{censored}s album, so it all evens out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RoboPimp Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Mrs. C.: No. I HATE Radiohead. I always have. at least she has good taste in music Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BillyGrahamCracker Posted September 13, 2005 Author Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Originally posted by jcn37203 The more she abuses you, the more I like her.Can she come back to the forum? Does she still remember her password?I think it would be fun. Oh, you'd love her. She's got what they used to call spunk (you can make all the jokes you want, but they're NOT funny because spunk=babies). No, she certainly cannot. I bet she still remembers it. It's the same password I have on most everything, I think. No it wouldn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kestral Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Woah, that was like Waiting For Godot, but with even LESS sex appeal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BillyGrahamCracker Posted September 13, 2005 Author Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Originally posted by Kestral Woah, that was like Waiting For Godot, but with even LESS sex appeal! Oh, I should've put stage direction, too, then. Then you would've seen her half sitting, half laying on the couch, the remote hanging from her hand, wearing nothing but the way-too-big Stones t-shirt she got when her dad took her to see them on the Voodoo Lounge tour in '94.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BillyGrahamCracker Posted September 13, 2005 Author Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 That was NOT meant to be sexy, either. Especially if you saw the state that her Stones shirt is in after thousands of wash cycles.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kestral Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 ewww, in that case, here's a picture of Jessica Biel to wash away that image! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thebazaar Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 vegemite is a yeast extract spread that is wise to be used as sparingly as possible. Less is More is very relevant. It has such a bad quirky taste that at times its just so appealing to eat. Vegemite and cheese on toast is a good late night drinking session cap to ward off the full effects of a hangover the next morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members riffdaddy Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Originally posted by BillyGrahamCracker spunk=babies :D:D:D:DThat was {censored}ing hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GuyaGuy Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Originally posted by thebazaar vegemite is a yeast extract spread that is wise to be used as sparingly as possible. Less is More is very relevant. It has such a bad quirky taste that at times its just so appealing to eat. you forgot to mention that it's not actually suitable for human consumption. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BillyGrahamCracker Posted September 13, 2005 Author Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Originally posted by GuyaGuy you forgot to mention that it's not actually suitable for human consumption. Are you saying that Australians are subhuman?Also, I would add an addition to my little play, as the wife and I had quite a time while I drove her to the train this morning. Sadly, I don't know how I would put into words my interpretative dance/mime routine of "Killer Queen" that so disturbed her while I was driving. Sadly, she got out of the car just as Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" was coming on. Is it just me, or does that song have the WORST guitar solo ever recorded, culminating in Bryan's urging the listener to "Look into your heart, babe"?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members palthegiraffe Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Originally posted by BillyGrahamCracker Sadly, I don't know how I would put into words my interpretative dance/mime routine of "Killer Queen" that so disturbed her while I was driving. We're in the middle of introducing our 17-month-old to all kinds of music (prompted by a recent comment, "Isn't it weird that she has never heard Elvis sing 'Hound Dog' in her entire [short] life?"), and "Killer Queen" was among yesterday afternoon's songs. She still seems to prefer disco, though. She loves bopping around to Earth, Wind, & Fire in particular. Sadly, she got out of the car just as Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" was coming on. Is it just me, or does that song have the WORST guitar solo ever recorded, culminating in Bryan's urging the listener to "Look into your heart, babe"?! I might argue that the solo in the 1979 or '80 Misfits song "We Are 138" is the worst ever, but it's so short and dumb that it's almost charming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members riffdaddy Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Originally posted by palthegiraffe We're in the middle of introducing our 17-month-old to all kinds of music (prompted by a recent comment, "Isn't it weird that she has never heard Elvis sing 'Hound Dog' in her entire [short] life?"), and "Killer Queen" was among yesterday afternoon's songs. She still seems to prefer disco, though. She loves bopping around to Earth, Wind, & Fire in particular. EWF isn't disco. You must die now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members palthegiraffe Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Originally posted by riffdaddy EWF isn't disco. You must die now. I agree that that was worded badly. I played EW&F on the same afternoon as the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, which she also enjoyed. So I was lumping together the mid/late-1970s danceable pop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GuyaGuy Posted September 13, 2005 Members Share Posted September 13, 2005 Originally posted by BillyGrahamCracker Are you saying that Australians are subhuman? i wouldn't DREAM of suggesting that.people who hate radiohead on the other hand... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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