just the lyrics

[jamminman]

ok well i had a really bad night 1 night and thought i would write down what i was thinking and the next morning i thought i would try to make sence with what i wrote and this is what i came up with.

 

 

 

We come into this world helpless

We come into this world clean

We come into this world alone

Looking for unconditional love

well i have found it

I offer you everything

in hope you will love me

 

The burning

the rage

the uncertiny of not knowing

Tearing me apart

 

Why cant we be friends?

Why cant we be lovers?

why cant we be soul mates?

on this crewl ride called life

 

the sorrow

the fear

the hurt i feel inside

tearing me apart

 

Why cant we be partners?

wht cant we be together?

why cant we be as one?

on this crewl ride called life

 

I love you

i cant do without you

you are what keeps me together

 

I dont want to loose you

I dont want you to loose me

I want to be together for eternity

on this crewl ride called life

 

I feel helpless

I feel scared

I feel alone

on this crewl ride called life.

 

Well thats it! that was my first attempt at writing anything it was a bad night when i put this on paper you may not understand this but to me it makes sence.

 

All comments and remarks are verry welcome i do have big shoulders so let me have it.

 

oh yeah how does one put music to lyrics?

[JSimms]

One does not simply pick up a brush, put paint to canvass and create a masterpiece. The art of making music is no different. It takes time and pracctice to become good at it. You obviously have the desire to create; now you simply have to refine your abilities. This is the best advice I can give you: Write and readall the time. Eventualy you will become familiar with things like nuance, and metaphor, alliteration, rhyhm and meter and on and on.

 

Good Luck.

 

[Tullsterx]

Good answer! Is that classic Jsimms material? Very nice.

[Chicken Monkey]

Originally posted by JSimms This is the best advice I can give you: Write and read all the time.

 

I'd have to add rewrite to that list, but otherwise, there isn't much else to say.

[JSimms]

 

Originally posted by Tullsterx Good answer! Is that classic Jsimms material? Very nice.

 

 

You have something of substance to add i.e. usefull, or are you just here for the usual asshattery?

 

 

I can't remember if we resolved this or not, but are you actually a musician?

[Tullsterx]

I wasn't being sarcastic. I really enjoyed your response.

 

Did we discuss whether I was a musician or not?

[JSimms]

 

Originally posted by Tullsterx I wasn't being sarcastic. I really enjoyed your response. Did we discuss whether I was a musician or not?

 

 

You certainly have my apologies. I have you confused with someone else.

 

My apoligies to all who have read my response to Tullsterx. I forget sometimes who everybody is and had him confused with another.

[catdaddy]

 

Originally posted by jamminman Well thats it! that was my first attempt at writing anything it was a bad night when i put this on paper you may not understand this but to me it makes sence.

 

 

If you wrote this for yourself then don't change a thing. If you like it and it has meaning to you then thats all the validation that you need. If you want to share your lyric/poetry with others then you should help others to understand more clearly what you are saying. The litmus test that I use to determine whether lyrics that I've written will "work" for others is whether the lyric answers these questions: Who? What? When? Where? Why? and most important Who cares? If the answer to the last question is I do and no one else, then I know its not worth sharing (might still be something that I like though). If your lyrics answer the first five questions you're definitely on the right track to communicating with others through your creative writing.

[alcohol]

Beginning songwriter here.

 

I think lyrics should tell a story, especially with imagery.

 

So where is the story or stories that convey the ideas. Or where are the images that can convey the ideas.

 

For me, when the lyric is abstract, that's a chorus.

The verses tell the story or provide the images while the chorus makes the point or iterates the central idea abstractly or also in an image.

 

Now there are exceptions to this rule and people have had great songs with the most banal lyrics, but I think they are in the minority.

 

So I would edit the song replacing some of the ideas with images that can represent those ideas.

 

People identify with what they can touch, see, hear or smell more strongly than something abstract.

 

Imagine replacing the lines:

 

"We come into this world helpless

We come into this world clean

We come into this world alone

Looking for unconditional love"

 

with

 

"like a baby in a crib

with everything to learn

and nothing to expect

Except love and loving

I can give you that"

 

Hope you don't mind-Thoughts from an newbie

 

good luck.

[8mileshigh]

lots of cliche's in there. also quite a lot of misspelled words. but there's some good lines in there, try to figure out for yourself what those are and you're half way of writing a good song. I suggest you come up with music to put to the lyrics. And don't be afraid of changing some words in order to fit to a sung melody. And if the next time you're working on the song doesn't get the song any better you can always continue some other time, there's no deathline to writing some good music, mind you.

[tspit74]

Like others have said, it's a start and as long as it means something to YOU, it's valid. I think lyrics come into their own when they're mated with the right music. That's what makes a song. So many songs have meaningless lyrics, but they're great songs or records. Lyrics without music are just poetry.

 

Were you humming a tune when you wrote them? That's what I do. Sometimes it sticks, sometimes it doesn't.

[SweetJem]

i wanna learn how to write a song and put melody in it..the problem is when i try to write something..i pick up a melody from another song....hehehehe...but it is tough to write..i wanna be deep like James blunt..his songs are awesome..simple lyrics..but with deeper meaning...