Members ALyricman Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 I need help. Please comment and correct this lyric, and give me some idea. It is not yet over. I need your idea. PLZ You have to walk before you can runAnd have to choose between all or noneYou have to talk before you can singAnd have to experience each pain and sting You have to balk before you can winAnd have to learn in brawl and dinYou have to be born before you can beenAnd must know yourself without sin You may go from London to DublinThese two cities are negative twinsYou may go from Moscow to BerlinOver their flew bird with same fin Even if all of the world is yourYou need to take a detourEven if you don't need it any moreKeep it in your store You have to fight to the endIf you want all to defendYou have to give back what you lendIf you want it to spend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ALyricman Posted December 28, 2008 Author Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 Please comment this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ido1957 Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 After reading through a few times I found there was too many/too much focus on the rhyme. It seemed forced because it was too prevalent. Which paragraph is the chorus? Is on eo them the bridge? I think you could call this "Before You Can" as that seems to be the idea. Good start so far... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members floyd1991 Posted December 29, 2008 Members Share Posted December 29, 2008 What style of music are you planning to use the lyrics for? I ask because it's uncommon to see each line in a stanza rhyme. I didn't notice any spelling mistakes though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members palimino Posted December 29, 2008 Members Share Posted December 29, 2008 English isn't your 1st language, I bet. Is OK. Some words get lost in translation. I took first five lines and changed to prevent monotony from using the same beginning over & over. It has nice sentiment. Good luck. WE ALL MUST walk before WE runSOMETIMES THE CHOICE IS all or noneUNLESS you talk you'LL NEVER singTHE SWEETEST HONEY HAS ITS sting DON'T PLAY TO LOSE DON'T KILL TO win Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ALyricman Posted January 11, 2009 Author Members Share Posted January 11, 2009 I imagine blues music to this lyric. Eanglish isn't my first language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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