Members floyd1991 Posted January 14, 2009 Members Share Posted January 14, 2009 Here's a little poem I wrote for fun. I'm thinking of using it in a slow jazzy/bluesy song I wrote in G maj. I'll just have to make a chorus and at least one more verse. That's the problem... I kind of ended it. I'm hoping for suggestions on what I can use as a verse before this. I guess if I were to use this it would have to be the last verse. Thanks for any feedback/suggestions As the last trace of light dims To the familiar blue, Lost is my knowledge of time Lost is its use Gone are the wee small hours For ignorance is bliss; (when) Dwelling in Euphoria Tasting cloud nine's kiss Diving out of the ocean To live up in the sky The birds, I hear them singing, Calling me to fly Just as my feet leave the ground To soar to my mind's end An old friend named Father Time Knocks on my door again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tbry Posted January 14, 2009 Members Share Posted January 14, 2009 Here's a little poem I wrote for fun. I'm thinking of using it in a slow jazzy/bluesy song I wrote in G maj. I'll just have to make a chorus and at least one more verse. That's the problem... I kind of ended it. I'm hoping for suggestions on what I can use as a verse before this. I guess if I were to use this it would have to be the last verse. Thanks for any feedback/suggestions As the last trace of light dims To the familiar blue, Lost is my knowledge of time Lost is its use Gone are the wee small hours For ignorance is bliss; (when) Dwelling in Euphoria Tasting cloud nine's kiss Diving out of the ocean To live up in the sky The birds, I hear them singing, Calling me to fly Just as my feet leave the ground To soar to my mind's end An old friend named Father Time Knocks on my door again Thats a tough one...kind of painted yourself into a corner...I'm sure you can figure it out though...set it aside for awhile and come back to it...you'll get it this line...I did not get Diving out of the ocean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members floyd1991 Posted January 14, 2009 Author Members Share Posted January 14, 2009 ^ yeah, that line was just to paint imagery of a magic dream world where animals (fish/birds) are joined as one. If I end up using this as a verse though I think I may have to make a lot of changes because I did kind of put myself in a corner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marko Posted January 14, 2009 Members Share Posted January 14, 2009 A Biblical metaphor for a large number of people is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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