Members Heckxx Posted February 13, 2009 Members Share Posted February 13, 2009 Hey everyone, I just finished up another new song. Well, its mostly done, I'm still looking for ways to improve it before I finalize it for good in a few weeks. Any feedback would be appreciated, thanks! This song is about a dying forbidden love, and photographs are the only thing that can keep their memories of each other alive. Hopefully, that idea comes across clearly in the lyrics http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7332231 -Jeff "Photograph" This candlelight is slowly fading away Our time runs out with every breath we take And the oxygen is floating miles away This surely is the final kiss we'll make Please don't you cry Let me focus into you And keep you alive These photographs so special I'll never let them fade I'll hide them well behind these walls Our memories are safe Our memories so precious They're formed from fragile glass We shared our tears in secrecy We tried to make this last Please don't you cry Let me focus into you And keep you alive We will shoot this lens one more time And we will shoot this lens one more time Our time runs out I say goodbye Our secret's out Our candles die Please don't you cry Let me take your photograph And keep you alive Please don't you cry Let me focus into you And keep you alive Let me take your photograph... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thisISjoel Posted February 13, 2009 Members Share Posted February 13, 2009 Look at this photograph... Everytime I do it makes me laugh... Just kidding dude. Not my thing but hey if you dig it that's the only thing that counts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mpeddle Posted February 13, 2009 Members Share Posted February 13, 2009 Excellent melody + production. This is a cool line: We shared our tears in secrecyWe tried to make this last I thought this line was weak: Let me focus into you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Heckxx Posted February 13, 2009 Author Members Share Posted February 13, 2009 Excellent melody + production.This is a cool line:We shared our tears in secrecyWe tried to make this lastI thought this line was weak:Let me focus into you Thanks for the feedback! Well, the line "let me focus into you" does has some symbolic ground, but unless I can think of a better line its probably gonna stay. I really like the rhythm and melody there, and I've definitely been thinking of ways to make that lyric a bit different, but I have yet to come up with anything that fits well . -Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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