Members Beakybird Posted April 21, 2009 Members Share Posted April 21, 2009 www.myspace.com/larrylevin The hook of this song came to me in a dream about 10 years ago: All The Give That You Got" It took me all that time to write verses and finish the song. I had a lot of fun with this song with Cakewalk and my Yamaha PSR-S900 keyboard as a midi output. I think the instruments sound very realistic. I wish I had a superstar voice to complete this song. Beakybird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Duffage Posted April 21, 2009 Members Share Posted April 21, 2009 Nice collection of tunes! I can relate to the fun you have. I especially enjoy your arrangement on "I Want To Scuba Dive...". The PSR gets your intentions across very well. Good job. SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dee_Eff Posted April 22, 2009 Members Share Posted April 22, 2009 That 's a pretty fun song. Good job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beakybird Posted April 23, 2009 Author Members Share Posted April 23, 2009 I just noticed that the player on my myspace page is not functioning. Others are having the same problem. Sorry for the inconvenience for those who tried to hear the song. Please go to www.reverbnation.com/larrylevin to hear the song. And thanks to De Eff and Duffage for listening. De Eff, I listened to the first song on your myspace page. Excellent - but add bass to complete the mix. Good musicianship too. Beakybird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted April 27, 2009 Members Share Posted April 27, 2009 Life is like an artichoke, huh? A solid and nicely written song, well arranged, playfully funky, if a tad squeaky clean. But, you know, you're missing the secret weapon of guys who may not have that full ghetto-fabulous street life cred: a bevvy of sassy and soulful backup singers. Get the right gals jostling in back of you in the mix and you'll have something pretty compelling. In a playfully funky way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dee_Eff Posted April 27, 2009 Members Share Posted April 27, 2009 De Eff, I listened to the first song on your myspace page. Excellent - but add bass to complete the mix. Good musicianship too Your not the first person to mention that. I guess I better remix that song and crank up the bass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Matximus Posted April 27, 2009 Members Share Posted April 27, 2009 www.myspace.com/larrylevin The hook of this song came to me in a dream about 10 years ago: All The Give That You Got" It took me all that time to write verses and finish the song. I had a lot of fun with this song with Cakewalk and my Yamaha PSR-S900 keyboard as a midi output. I think the instruments sound very realistic. I wish I had a superstar voice to complete this song. Beakybird Your non-superstar voice is charming. I really, really like the pre-chorus and chorus. It has clever wordplay and goes somewhere. The opening verse is weak weak weak, for me, though. The song doesn't really start - for me - until 39 seconds ("If you want to go ...") I'd chuck the whole stuff about artichokes and life is and whatnot. It's corny. I see what you're doing, leading up to the goods. But jump right into the hooks! Also, your bridge comes close to plagiarizing "Dancing in the Street" ("They say it don't matter how much milk you spill" vs "Oh, it doesn't matter what you wear...") The lyrics and music are pretty close. But I think it'd be cleared up if you scratched the whole "It don't matter" ... "as long" lyric structure. But's there's a really strong song in here, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beakybird Posted April 28, 2009 Author Members Share Posted April 28, 2009 I am grateful to those who took time to listen. I will ponder on what blue2blue said, and I will have an Afro American funk singer - friend of friend - listen to it. Try to pump it up with some sassy female vocals. Still looks like myspace player is having problems, so please go to www.reverbnation.com/larrylevin Maybe put some of those scratchy dj sounds into the mix to make it sound more hip. I wish I knew more about hip hop and rap. "It doesn't matter how much milk you spill, as long as you don't lose the cow" is a real obscure saying, in public domain, so no plagiarizing there. I also wrote, "They say it don't matter ..." so that I won't be claiming to be the originator of that gem. Different from dancing in the streets: different melody, different chords, line comes in 2nd verse not bridge. I was going through some silly motivational quotes to try to get ideas for the song. I will think about how I can start with the hook, though I hate to chuck the artichokes. Thanks again, enormously. Beakybird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhat Posted April 30, 2009 Members Share Posted April 30, 2009 nice key chops ,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted April 30, 2009 Members Share Posted April 30, 2009 Part of me wants to scream, No, it's like stamping your forehead 1997...(or even '87) ... but, for whatever reasons, people are still sticking bits of record scratches in things, even when there's actually no cut/scratch DJ'ing actually going on, real or sim. (Yes, I've done it myself, though, not... in a while. ) I definitely like the idea of getting a friend in to soul up the vocal thing. You do a fine job but... well... you're not necessarily Otis Redding in terms of soul land grit. A little extra spice could be just the sweet and tart combination that makes it, could be a nice interplay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beakybird Posted April 30, 2009 Author Members Share Posted April 30, 2009 Thanks for stopping me from messing up the song. I'll examine the soulful backup vocal treatment - even thought the song is pretty busy with all the harmonica and vibraphone. Maybe it doesn't need a soulful backup vocal but a soulful lead vocal - one that I, unfortunately, cannot produce. Or maybe I haven't tried hard enough. Anyway, I don't want this song to stop people from listening to what's closest to being my masterpiece, Vista, the first song on the player. Beakybird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted April 30, 2009 Members Share Posted April 30, 2009 Hows about two versions? That's how the big guys have done it for years. They did it in Jamaica, of course, recycling back tracks, some for decades, as one singer or toaster or dub mixer after another laid his hands and/or voice over the well-worn tracks. They even did it on 60s jazz tracks. Ever notice how the same rhythm section tracks ended up in back of both Astrud Gilberto and Stan Getz and in back of Charlie Byrd and Stan Getz? Efficiency and economy is the byword these days... as always. You could have one with you (because your vocal does have genuine charm, even if it doesn't have buckets of grit ), and one with her and then one with both for that blend of flavors... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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