Members Bright_Midnight Posted November 23, 2009 Members Share Posted November 23, 2009 hey guys,just finished a new track, called "dont eye me like a child". would love to hear your thoughts! http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8380379 if the player doesnt work for you let me know. thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Eclepto Funk Posted November 23, 2009 Members Share Posted November 23, 2009 like the song, works for me ... excellent sound quality good vocals ... the drums go off a little a couple of times (drum machine?), nothing awful, not at all i am most impressed by how tight and good the sound is ... awesome also love the Van Gogh-ish wallpaper ... nice if any negative thoughts came to mind, is that the song doesn't have a melodic killer hook, or perhaps it just needs something different thrown in to highlight the melody, which is repeated quite a lot or perhaps the song could be shorter to minimize exposure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bright_Midnight Posted November 23, 2009 Author Members Share Posted November 23, 2009 like the song, works for me ... excellent sound qualitygood vocals ... the drums go off a little a couple of times (drum machine?), nothing awful, not at alli am most impressed by how tight and good the sound is ... awesomealso love the Van Gogh-ish wallpaper ... niceif any negative thoughts came to mind, is that the song doesn't have a melodic killer hook, or perhaps it just needs something different thrown in to highlight the melody, which is repeated quite a lotor perhaps the song could be shorter to minimize exposure Thanks! i spent a lot of time on this trying to get the guitar/bass/synth with the each other. however, to add a live drummer to the mix and keep him with the rest of the song perfectly is something that takes a long time, and we cranked out that drum session in about two hours. i know some parts are definitely a little loose in terms of time, but its all part of the song for me.i appreciate the kind words! thanks for listening! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bright_Midnight Posted November 25, 2009 Author Members Share Posted November 25, 2009 any more comments? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Wyte-Lyte Posted November 27, 2009 Members Share Posted November 27, 2009 I liked it but it got kind of repetitive and went on way too long for my taste. I agree with the guy above me it seems like it lacks a hook or anything that stands out more than the rest of the music. Overall i think it was enjoyable at first but then it kind of dragged on. Maybe add a new element to the song? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hurtchow Posted November 27, 2009 Members Share Posted November 27, 2009 Hey, I had this on while I was in the bathroom. It's okay! The singing is pretty distinct, although it reminds me of Morrisey quite a lot. Okay I just listened to it again and I gotta say the drumming is really cool. Is it live or a machine? I'll read the rest of the thread now. Ahh so it is live! Wicked! To be honest, I didn't notice any looseness between the instruments. The performance is very solid. Don't worry about that stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted November 27, 2009 Members Share Posted November 27, 2009 hey guys,just finished a new track, called "dont eye me like a child". would love to hear your thoughts!http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8380379if the player doesnt work for you let me know.thanks! Thoughtful, reflective lyrics... some interesting images that seemed to hint at some background on the 'singer' -- the contrast between sitting in a room surrounded by posters and a previous life of rootless travel. The confessional ruminations. (Not too sure the villains part works for me. Maybe demons?) It's an interesting title that hints at underlying emotional dynamics... but the refrain/chorus that that line starts out seems a bit unfocused to me... although the teasing/easy internal rhyme was an unexpected treat. But something that's repeated three or four times, it seems to me, is going to draw more attention to the lyrics, and I can't help but feel like there's probably a better way of approaching the chorus, a way that will not help us resolve the question mark hanging over this guy's story about himself... The music side of the songwriting has a light, Smiths-like lilt that plays nicely against the darker ambiguity of the lyrics (as in so many Smiths songs, of course). I find myself thinking that a lyric reworking that keeps the bittersweet ambiguities of this but tightens up the character study that this song clearly intends to be. If you rework this song/lyrics, be sure to let us know, I'd love to see how things develop. Some nice work so far! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted November 28, 2009 Members Share Posted November 28, 2009 I think you've got the lyrical hook--"don't eye me like a child, something something something wild"--but it doesn't really pop out melodically. A slight change in the rhythm or melody of that part should make it stand out. It's not until the 3:20 area that you finally change that section up at all. And I'd fade at 3:35 and let it go. It's plenty long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bright_Midnight Posted November 30, 2009 Author Members Share Posted November 30, 2009 thanks for the all the feedback guys! i really appreciate it! this is quite a personal song to me, to change it up at all is going to require a lot of thinking. ill let you guys know if i change it up at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted November 30, 2009 Members Share Posted November 30, 2009 I can understand that sensibility. Sometimes when something is driven by intuition, allowing an intellectual or conscious process to divert one from the intuitive impulse can be a tough call. I've gone both ways with that... sometimes leaving a line in even when I know there's a problem with it and it could probably be improved. And sometimes changing it... and then changing it back. And then... later... finding something that seems even better on both an intellectual and an intuitive level. It's a process... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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