"La Minuit" - thoughts?

[Bright_Midnight]

got another one for you guys, called "la minuit". any feedback is appreciated!

 

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8695521

 

lyrics:

 

connect the points ahead

with fingers on the bed

to start the scene

 

i'm focused on your eyes

and i know that you're gonna

give in

 

the night becomes alive

as you swoon and caress

my skin

 

we're safe inside the rain

the virgin tide awaits

the lovers sleeping sound below

 

the islands on your mind

we're drifting through the line

a place you've never seen before

 

i'm lost in love

but drowned in lust

only your face

is left to touch

 

i'm lost in love

but drowned in lust

only your face

is left to touch

 

i'm focused on your eyes

and i know that your gonna

give in

 

there's something in the air

let me know if you feel it

alright

[hogger]

I'll give this analysis thing a shot, though I feel really humbled by the advice that blue2blue, leeknight, chickenmonkey, the regulars give... I feel so unschooled when I see the type of advice that they give, but since nobody else has weighed in on this one, perhaps my advice is better than nothing. I'll just spit out what appealed to me and what didn't appeal to me about it.

 

Didn't appeal to me:

- took too long to get going, too much instrumental at the start

- the moaning sounds after the 1st verse didn't do anything for me

- it didn't have enough "growth" as the song went

 

Did appeal to me:

- it's got some nice grooves in it, I'd really like it if it had more of the "loud soft loud" thing going. It seems like it's got a lot of opportunity to benefit from some verses that build to a crescendo, leading into one of those nice guitar solos, and then take it back down and give the listener some time to recover.

- I really like the doors, and it reminds me of the doors

 

I don't listen to this style of music much, but I could like this song just fine.

[Bright_Midnight]

 

I'll give this analysis thing a shot, though I feel really humbled by the advice that blue2blue, leeknight, chickenmonkey, the regulars give... I feel so unschooled when I see the type of advice that they give, but since nobody else has weighed in on this one, perhaps my advice is better than nothing. I'll just spit out what appealed to me and what didn't appeal to me about it. Didn't appeal to me: - took too long to get going, too much instrumental at the start - the moaning sounds after the 1st verse didn't do anything for me - it didn't have enough "growth" as the song went Did appeal to me: - it's got some nice grooves in it, I'd really like it if it had more of the "loud soft loud" thing going. It seems like it's got a lot of opportunity to benefit from some verses that build to a crescendo, leading into one of those nice guitar solos, and then take it back down and give the listener some time to recover. - I really like the doors, and it reminds me of the doors I don't listen to this style of music much, but I could like this song just fine.

 

 

thanks for listening! the backing vox are hit and miss for people, i have had some people tell me that they love them, others say not so much. so im a little lost on those right now.

 

part of the lack of progression is at the fault of the percussion, because of the time constraints of the recording session when we laid them down, we didnt have a clear idea of what the song would be. now i do have an idea, and it would require some tweaks in the drumming.

 

thanks again!

[grace_slick]

I like this...it does take a while at first...but that's not to say the beginning bit is bad or un-interesting. I really like what the bass does...and the guitar that comes in around 0.40 secs.

 

I like the lead voice when it comes in and style there...sounds Doors-like to me...

 

The vocals that are sort of in the background seem messy to me...

 

I really like it. I think it's got major potential, but...yes, something might want to be done to the beginning intro...not necessarily make it shorter, but something...to grasp peoples' interest earlier...

[Bright_Midnight]

 

I like this...it does take a while at first...but that's not to say the beginning bit is bad or un-interesting. I really like what the bass does...and the guitar that comes in around 0.40 secs. I like the lead voice when it comes in and style there...sounds Doors-like to me... The vocals that are sort of in the background seem messy to me... I really like it. I think it's got major potential, but...yes, something might want to be done to the beginning intro...not necessarily make it shorter, but something...to grasp peoples' interest earlier...

 

 

thanks for listening! glad you enjoyed it! yes, this was a first recording of it, so im sure some changes will be made when we decide to go back and fine tune it.

 

thanks again!

[Bright_Midnight]

any other thoughts?

[BenDuncan]

This isnt really related to song writing but i really like the way your voice sounds

[Bright_Midnight]

This isnt really related to song writing but i really like the way your voice sounds

 

why thank you

[rockinrobby]

Right at the very beginning, it seemed a little weird? Because it sounded like you were already playing and then someone took you off mute? (minor)

 

I like the fretless :-) The quality of the recording could really be improved... It's actually distracting from my ability to be able to listen to and critique anything objectivly :-( I can't hear the vox (they're burried) and there's something drowning in the high end that I find anoying (personal) It's probably a ride cymbal? Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh, it may be a great song with great performances, but from what I can hear, the recording is so weak that I can't really appreciate the other elements.

[ido1957]

Nice sort of Moody Blues vibe to your voice... I think the vocal could come forward in the mix a bit. Good song and classic vibe to it.... :):)

[Bright_Midnight]

Nice sort of Moody Blues vibe to your voice... I think the vocal could come forward in the mix a bit. Good song and classic vibe to it.... :) :)

 

thanks man! i really appreciate it

[Bright_Midnight]

 

Right at the very beginning, it seemed a little weird? Because it sounded like you were already playing and then someone took you off mute? (minor) I like the fretless :-) The quality of the recording could really be improved... It's actually distracting from my ability to be able to listen to and critique anything objectivly :-( I can't hear the vox (they're burried) and there's something drowning in the high end that I find anoying (personal) It's probably a ride cymbal? Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh, it may be a great song with great performances, but from what I can hear, the recording is so weak that I can't really appreciate the other elements.

 

 

thanks for listening! I would try another listen, preferably a download, because it is a well done recording, at least with my minimal set up, IMO.

 

if that doesn't change anything then, well,

back to the drawing board haha

[Bright_Midnight]

any other thoughts?