Members emotionography Posted July 15, 2010 Members Share Posted July 15, 2010 Hi,My name's Jerry Browning and I have a website with my poetry and lyrics on it. I'm looking for muscians to put vocals and music to a song I wrote a little while back. I think this could be a profitable.:In Thru the Out DoorIf you play the mp3 of my rendition of it acapello (which isn't so good), you can get an idea of the melody.Thanks,Jerry BrowningEmotionongraphy.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rockinrobby Posted July 15, 2010 Members Share Posted July 15, 2010 in through the out door? You know this could be taken one of several ways? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted July 15, 2010 Members Share Posted July 15, 2010 ________________________ Jerry These lyrics have some potential to be tightened into a nice, coherent package, but, as it is now, the frame devices (theater and heaven gate-crashing) are the main places where the particulars of your lyrical arc really connect up with your refrain device/hook. (Although I do note that sexuality rares its pretty head in there, but I'll leave that angle to our randy friend, Robby.) That said, hooking the incidents through the middle of the song up to the refrain might work to tighten things up -- but I guess there is the danger of making it too 'on the nose.' Still, there's definitely a song lurking here. Heck, maybe it's just fine the way it is (I mean, when it hooks up with some music ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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