Very rough demo - mp3 content

[gubu]

Hi all,

Haven't been in the songwriting forum for a while but I just got a demo down of a new song and tho it was rushed to tape and has a woegeously sung vocal, I thought I'd put it up to give folks a listen and hopefully get some feedback.

 

Here it is:- http://soundcloud.com/gubu/revelations-mastered-1

 

Hope the link works and any feedback appreciated.

[blue2blue]

This has a very agreeable sound, I like the simplicity of the arrangement, the straightforward, sincere feel, the foot stop kick drum, the bell-tone arpeggiation, the classic folkie feel of the melody.

 

As usual, I'll refrain from extended comment on lyrics (unless they're posted) but nothing I heard leapt out at me in any kind of negative way. The vocals seemed to have a nice, direct sincerity.

 

From all those perspectives, very nicely done!

 

 

 

 

*My comments below don't reflect on you, personally, at all -- so please don't take them that way -- but, I really don't like that download service you used.

 

Not only do they make you jump through a bunch of hoops just to get to the file -- they pop up an intrusive auto-play audio-video Flash ad. Bad news. I would seriously consider using a less annoying service.

 

There are a number of music oriented sites with free accounts and free streaming and download for users without any annoying time-outs or intrusive auto-play audio-video ads. A lot of folks like www.SoundCloud.com for song demos and the like, because it lets visitor/listeners tag their comments right into the song's timeline (that said, there are some limitations to it, as well, I only use it occasionally, and only for works in progress). But there are plenty of other free music distro sites as well as file transfer utilities on there, from Bandcamp.com and ReverbNation.com to Last.fm and iLike.com -- and plenty more besides.

[junkyard bennie]

 

Hi all, Haven't been in the songwriting forum for a while but I just got a demo down of a new song and tho it was rushed to tape and has a woegeously sung vocal, I thought I'd put it up to give folks a listen and hopefully get some feedback. Here it is:- http://www.filefactory.com/file/b46hfe4/n/Revelations_mastered_1_mp3 Hope the link works and any feedback appreciated.

 

 

 

Was kind of lost how to find your music, so I just skip it

 

If you have an easier way for us to listen to it that would be great

 

 

Try Box. (something) net , com

 

 

or even soundclick

[gubu]

Thanks guys,

It struck me as I posted that link that it was a pretty sucky way to post music!

Anyway, thanks for the heads up and the direction to the forum sticky B2B..

 

at self!

 

Well, it's hosted by soundcloud now so no more hoops to jump thru...

[gubu]

O and here are the lyrics:-

 

Now revelation's been and gone and we're still goin round,

But every night you find yourself settled there

All hung up on your blues,

Now doesn't that ring true!

O please now won't you set it down,

It's nothin that we haven't seen before.

 

You've seen it all and talked the talk by digital sattelite,

The weatherman keeps tellin you you're gonna be alright,

So why won't an angel come and tell you what the hell is goin on?

Cos no mater just how long you live a lie,

You know you'll never make it true.

 

There's somethin in your eyes today says it's all gone to hell,

You're strugglin for the words to say exactly why you do this to yourself,

So I suppose I'll see you 'round,

Cos you know that I was born to love

And I just don't have the poison for your games.

[Marshal]

Really VERY nice on all levels.

 

One thing; I'm expecting to hear the 6th line rhyme with either the 4th or 5th lines in each verse. It's not a horrible bad thing. But it feels a little uncomfortable.

[rockinrobby]

This seems like a very rough demo, I would make the drums a little less bizzy? I like the wordz.

[gubu]

Thanks for the input guys, it's always good to get some encouragement.

I guess the challenge now is to produce a recording that I'd be happy with, quality-wise, to submit to a few licensing libraries and put up on facebook etc.

 

On the rhyming - the lyrics probably do need another edit but I'm undecided how to approach it yet. I kind of plucked this song out of the air one day, almost fully formed and the cross(?) rhyming is just the way it naturally came out. Also, each verse scans to the meter differently but I am gonna have a look at tidying things up a bit.

 

On the kick drum - that's just a sample that I put in to keep time and it's not a great sound. The kick needs to be softer and more in the background and so I need to find a better sample and spend more time mixing when I record a final version. This demo was thrown down in a half hr from tracking to mastering. I'll probably put in a little more percussion and a bass guitar as well.

 

One thing is that maybe the song is a bit short and needs another part to lift it. I'm looking for ideas for middle 8 and coda structures that work with straight 12 bar blues like this one and will definitely add to this if I can.

 

Anyway, thanks for the replies. Like I said, a little encouragment is always a good thing!