Members 2006541 Posted March 5, 2011 Members Share Posted March 5, 2011 Rock and Rockist cliche's earnestly crafted into music ??? All on a DP-02...WORTHWHILE ??? Enjoyable endeavors, regardless... http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/2006541songs KEEF Rain In June Lyrics : If Money's not your prize then you might realize that if it was you'd probably never get enough. If it is that's fine, i hope your not denied; everybody these days knows that times are rough... To look and never find Love or peace of mind seems like the only real hell to me. It goes on all the time, I used to be that kind, but now I found an ANGEL, and she helps me see, and I don't mind the rain when it comes in June. I can take a little pain, long as I got you to see me through... We all can get SO high on life as it goes by, I guess it's just a shame it took so long to see. But that's the way it goes. Ask anyone who knows, they'll tell you there's a lot of people who are just like me, and I don't mind the rain when it comes in June. I can take a lot of pain, long as I got you to see me through... Nothing To Prove Lyrics : Five star breakfast in a foreclosed room. I been grinding since Monday, I'll be sleeping by Noon. Strawberry shortcake, jam in a jar. I used to wait for salvation, didn't get me too far. I was lost in the beginning, and I never came up winning, so now I don't even play to lose. I got nothing to prove... Bring me my biscuit all buttered up. I got the coffee, I got cream in the cup. YOU got the REAL stuff, and it's all that I need. I hope you know that it means so much to me; and I was lost in the beginning, and I never came up winning, so now I don't even play to lose. I got nothing to prove... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted March 5, 2011 Members Share Posted March 5, 2011 Hey, 2006451 Welcome to the Songwriting Forum! Here are some guidelines on getting the most out of the forum: Forum Rules / Guidelines / Resources I listened to "Rain in June" -- it certainly doesn't suck. But I think the first part (that you have in one big stanza above) is strong and coherent, while the refrain is a bit more vague. There might be a potent metaphor buried in the rain in June reference -- but it's not apparent to me. (I found myself looking at your location to see if you were in the Southern Hemisphere, trying to get a line on the significance of the month the rain is coming in.) I guess rain in June (at least for you and I here in Cali) is unexpected, we can take that as a starting place, so, maybe we're talking about trouble-out-of-the-blue? That said, the meaning of a some songs can emerge over time for the listener as he lives with a song. I hope you'll stick around to give feedback to others and get constructive crit/feedback on your works-in-progress, as well as to discuss songwriting and composition craft. I'm the mod in the SW forum, so if you need me just click on the avatar area link and you can PM me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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