Members dankepig Posted July 12, 2011 Members Share Posted July 12, 2011 hello again everyone!i recorded this song about a month ago, while again (and inevitably) hungover.. Its not perfect and my equipment is, for lack of a better phrase, utter balls lol It is intended as a demo, the melody, harmony, and structure are essentially complete but it still needs additional lyrics and probably many tweaks.. thats why im posting it here; to find out what others think and ultimately, if its worth pursuing..anyway please take a listen and let me know what you think. heres the link! (which i almost forgot): Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted July 12, 2011 Members Share Posted July 12, 2011 Can you post the lyrics Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted July 12, 2011 Members Share Posted July 12, 2011 There's an admirable ambition to this song's arrangement and I suspect the finished version will smooth up some of the rough edges (that are more performance than songwriting related). The arrangement, particularly the fingerpicking and vocal harmonies, makes me think of Elliot Smith quite a bit and I suspect others may notice the same. I admire Smith, but his approach was a demanding one, requiring precision in playing and singing. Like Rhino, I'd need the lyrics in front of me to be able to make any intelligent comment on them, as it's pretty tough to make some of them out in the rush of words and through the often thick harmonies. (But, then, that's my standard preference, anyway, because sometimes even when the lyrics seem as clear as a bell, I've been known to mis-hear or misinterpret them.) I definitely think this is well worth working with based on sound and feel. [PS... I slipped on my moderator hat long enough to fix the now-gone typo in your thread title.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dankepig Posted July 13, 2011 Author Members Share Posted July 13, 2011 thanks for the comments blue! once again if that song were a nail, u appear 2 have hit it directly on the head I really appreciate your feedback (and your effortless corrections of my often blatant misuse of the english language- thanks lol) anyway without further delay, its lyric time! bear in mind that this was only intended as a demo, and after finalizing the melody, harmony and structure i had only time to slip in a quick verse and chorus, which i have just lazily repeated in this recording Soon our day will come -(this is a notorious political statement here in northern ireland) When we'll rise above the sun.. Were laughing acid people tainted by the evil painted inside everyone.. Just another loverless goodbye (lovers last goodbye 2nd time around) Empty eyes reflect the sky (if the tides reflect the sky 2nd time round) Helping to hide the little lies you told to me.. I was like a statue, standing still Who'd forgotten how to breathe.. as i say they arent complete, and as such only the beginning of the story is here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted July 13, 2011 Members Share Posted July 13, 2011 This tune has a great overall vibe. Personally, I think the production gets in the way though. There's a bit too much. I really, really like the ending, where it's just the guitar part. I'd love to hear it pared down to just you and the guitar: clear guitar, clear vocal, nothing else to muddy things up. I say this because the core of the song is really, really good. LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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