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secret circus


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Very interesting. Beautifully written, beautifully performed.


If by Bob Fosse you mean the movie version of Cabaret, this song is, in some ways, better.


That said, there are a few words and phrases that, in my opinion, kind of stick out and don't quite work.


1) "tender ball" -- I like the idea of the person's love being a ball that the powers-that-be bounce against the wall, but the way the phrase is sung, it doesn't work with "tender." I'd try another adjective. "Your love's a silly ball we bounce against the wall...?" "Childish/foolish ball?"


2) I'm not 100% sure about "fight for your bacon and eggs." I kind of like it, but I'm not sure about it. I think the problem is that it might be too specific. It seems to be a metaphor for "daily bread," which works better, metaphorically (though a bit trite), and rhymes better with the line that follows.


3) I'm really not sure about the second-to-last line: "but you have gas..." It sounds like the person is either bloated or farty. I'm assuming you're talking about gasoline, not intestinal gas. So I'd attack that idea in a different way.


Despite my few, small reservations, this is really a terrific song. Quite brilliant.





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