The Sad Robot (Please Don't Leave Me) - A Song I Wrote Involving a Vocoder.

[LordBTY]

Okey doke, although this song uses a vocoder and lacks a really really strong hook, I figured I'd share it with you guys in order to get it ripped to shreds. So far, the best response I've gotten is 'mediocre'

 

Any feedback would be appreciated

 

Mxn1fqaaCSA

 

 

 

 

Lyrics:

 

Please, don't tell you don't believe me

Thought you're sure of us but I'm wrong

Leave me be, but believe I need you when you're gone.

Feel or feign what's foregone.

 

Please, don't tell me that you will leave me

Though ,you know I'll go move along,

Pre-emptively

I left to see

if you'd fall for another.

 

Yes, I guessed that you might go leave me

Not to brag or boast.

Caught in arms of another

That's what hurts the most

Bless this stress, now my heart is breaking.

What a nice old note!

We were there for each other

we became so close

 

Please, I'll change if you don't believe me

Please, I'll be the reason you need

or ignore me some more, you love to see grieve

Do my death with your deeds

 

Please, don't tell tell me you want to leave me

No, I know I won't move along

the mess that's me

will end to see

You in love with another

 

Next, the rest of my chest is aching

Not to brag or boast.

Yes, the best has left, I'm breaking

That's what hurts the most

Yet, I bet that you'll leave your lover

What a nice old note!

Caught in arms of another -

It's what hurts the most.

we became so close

Not to brag or boast.

It's what hurts the most.

[LCK]

The music is interesting but the vocal is annoying. Too much technology, not enough humanity?

 

LCK

[Marshal]

I was thinking something similar. I think if you double tracked it, and had your natural voice with the vocoder in the background, you'd get an eerie half human/half machine aura about it. And that's what you're shooting for; a machine with human qualities. We're all afraid of that; the machine that will replace us. It's an immediate cultural connection everyone can sympathize with and be afraid of at the same time.

[Marshal]

PS - Song sounds cool. But i didn't pay attention to the lyrics, because of the difficulty in understanding, and the annoying nature of the sound.

 

But it could be good.

[bee3]

Holy cow! Turn off the vocoder! The music was interesting... but wow... I couldn't make it through the first minute.

[stickboymusic]

Wow - its the daleks on acid!!

 

Its either terrible....or the future of music

 

undecided.

[Oswlek]

Yeah, lose the vocoder. Dennis DeYoung didn't bother with it when recording the greatest from-the-robot's-perspective song ever written.

 

[video=youtube;1LjkC3eT6LA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LjkC3eT6LA

 

Edit: they do use it (lightly) on the back vox during the interlude. Be more subtle with it.

[LordBTY]

You guys definitely have a point - the dislike of the vocoder is pretty overwhelming amongst everyone.

 

I quite liked it, maybe it had something to do with the fact it's my voice, maybe I'm just more used to irritating noises in music ;P

 

Thanks for the feedback!

 

Maybe it's a lesson in how NOT to do experimentation... along with being a lesson in how not to do irritating noises.

[blue2blue]

Lyrics: Please, don't tell you don't believe me Thought you're sure of us but I'm wrong Leave me be, but believe I need you when you're gone. Feel or feign what's foregone. Please, don't tell me that you will leave me Though ,you know I'll go move along, Pre-emptively I left to see if you'd fall for another. Yes, I guessed that you might go leave me Not to brag or boast. Caught in arms of another That's what hurts the most Bless this stress, now my heart is breaking. What a nice old note! We were there for each other we became so close Please, I'll change if you don't believe me Please, I'll be the reason you need or ignore me some more, you love to see grieve Do my death with your deeds Please, don't tell tell me you want to leave me No, I know I won't move along the mess that's me will end to see You in love with another Next, the rest of my chest is aching Not to brag or boast. Yes, the best has left, I'm breaking That's what hurts the most Yet, I bet that you'll leave your lover What a nice old note! Caught in arms of another - It's what hurts the most. we became so close Not to brag or boast. It's what hurts the most.

Vocoder is fun, but maybe in small doses. I wasn't really able to make out the lyrics on their own. I think you'd be better served by a short section of vocoder. Or maybe vocoder and normal voice in the chorus. Also, while the foundation patch you were running through it did, indeed, give it that old school talking robot sound (not least because a lot of old sci fi robots 'talked' thanks to vocoders or sometimes the Sonovox), but it also probably contributed to lack of intelligibility as well as a certain fatigue factor.

 

Moving beyond arrangement issues... I couldn't help but feel like the song itself lacked a certain dynamic shape and coherence. Things don't have to make literal sense or be in necessarily a 'chronological' or 'logical' order -- but I think one ignores the emotional dynamic, the shape, if you will, of a song at some peril... just like a good instrumental piece will have a certain arc and flow, lyrics and music can and, I think, should help define sections using tension and release to provide a sense of dynamic shape and emotional flow. However, as your song currently is, it's packed pretty densely. Once the dancier main song kicks in, it felt pretty much like a steady ride to the end of the song.

 

There are some provocative and interesting ideas here -- but I'm not sure this song has found itself yet.

[LordBTY]

Vocoder is fun, but maybe in small doses. I wasn't really able to make out the lyrics on their own. I think you'd be better served by a short section of vocoder. Or maybe vocoder and normal voice in the chorus. Also, while the foundation patch you were running through it did, indeed, give it that old school talking robot sound (not least because a lot of old sci fi robots 'talked' thanks to vocoders or sometimes the Sonovox), but it also probably contributed to lack of intelligibility as well as a certain fatigue factor. Moving beyond arrangement issues... I couldn't help but feel like the song itself lacked a certain dynamic shape and coherence. Things don't have to make literal sense or be in necessarily a 'chronological' or 'logical' order -- but I think one ignores the emotional dynamic, the shape, if you will, of a song at some peril... just like a good instrumental piece will have a certain arc and flow, lyrics and music can and, I think, should help define sections using tension and release to provide a sense of dynamic shape and emotional flow. However, as your song currently is, it's packed pretty densely. Once the dancier main song kicks in, it felt pretty much like a steady ride to the end of the song. There are some provocative and interesting ideas here -- but I'm not sure this song has found itself yet.

 

Thanks man - this helped alot. I hadn't really taken into account dynamics when I wrote this - admittedly, I rushed it a bit.

 

If I were to redo it, I'd probably strip it down a bit in the verses and move the middle eight to the end before a final chorus - giving it a conventional, but effective structure. I decided to experiment by putting the middle eight in the middle of the verse - probably a bad idea.

[blue2blue]

Well, that's what musical experiments are for.