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  • Stupid jokes of the day ...

    Sensitivity Training For Men







    * I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair; but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!







    * The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kathy.







    * Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.







    * My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."







    * The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.







    * A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"







    * I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."







    * My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
    <div class="signaturecontainer"><b><font size="5"><div align="center">MFPOMFS</div></font></b><br />
    <br />
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫ ♪♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪♫♪</div>

  • #2
    not even a chuckle.
    <div class="signaturecontainer"><font size="7"><font color="deepskyblue"><font color="black"><font size="3"><font face="Arial"><b>the world is one big fist fight.<br />
    <br />
    </b></font></font></font></font></font><div class="bbcode_container">
    <div class="bbcode_quote">
    <div class="quote_container">
    <div class="bbcode_quote_container"></div>

    <div class="bbcode_postedby">
    <img src="images/misc/quote_icon.png" alt="Quote" /> Originally Posted by <strong>duncan</strong>
    <a href="showthread.php?p=46572620#post46572620" rel="nofollow"><img class="inlineimg" src="images/buttons/viewpost-right.png" alt="View Post" /></a>
    </div>
    <div class="message">I wonder what a persons life must be like if they're so easily affected by my posting on an Internet forum.</div>

    </div>
    </div>
    </div> <div class="bbcode_container">
    <div class="bbcode_quote">
    <div class="quote_container">
    <div class="bbcode_quote_container"></div>

    <div class="bbcode_postedby">
    <img src="images/misc/quote_icon.png" alt="Quote" /> Originally Posted by <strong>Rear Naked</strong>
    <a href="showthread.php?p=47312019#post47312019" rel="nofollow"><img class="inlineimg" src="images/buttons/viewpost-right.png" alt="View Post" /></a>
    </div>
    <div class="message">I saw 2 guys do it, and all they did was laugh really hard and say What The **************** a few times. No deaths or near-deaths occured.</div>

    </div>
    </div>
    </div> </div>

    Comment


    • #3
      not even a chuckle.
      <div class="signaturecontainer"><font size="7"><font color="deepskyblue"><font color="black"><font size="3"><font face="Arial"><b>the world is one big fist fight.<br />
      <br />
      </b></font></font></font></font></font><div class="bbcode_container">
      <div class="bbcode_quote">
      <div class="quote_container">
      <div class="bbcode_quote_container"></div>

      <div class="bbcode_postedby">
      <img src="images/misc/quote_icon.png" alt="Quote" /> Originally Posted by <strong>duncan</strong>
      <a href="showthread.php?p=46572620#post46572620" rel="nofollow"><img class="inlineimg" src="images/buttons/viewpost-right.png" alt="View Post" /></a>
      </div>
      <div class="message">I wonder what a persons life must be like if they're so easily affected by my posting on an Internet forum.</div>

      </div>
      </div>
      </div> <div class="bbcode_container">
      <div class="bbcode_quote">
      <div class="quote_container">
      <div class="bbcode_quote_container"></div>

      <div class="bbcode_postedby">
      <img src="images/misc/quote_icon.png" alt="Quote" /> Originally Posted by <strong>Rear Naked</strong>
      <a href="showthread.php?p=47312019#post47312019" rel="nofollow"><img class="inlineimg" src="images/buttons/viewpost-right.png" alt="View Post" /></a>
      </div>
      <div class="message">I saw 2 guys do it, and all they did was laugh really hard and say What The **************** a few times. No deaths or near-deaths occured.</div>

      </div>
      </div>
      </div> </div>

      Comment


      • #4






        Quote Originally Posted by NeloAngelo
        View Post

        not even a chuckle.




        **************** YOU ****************************
        <div class="signaturecontainer"><b><font size="5"><div align="center">MFPOMFS</div></font></b><br />
        <br />
        ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫ ♪♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪♫♪</div>

        Comment


        • #5






          Quote Originally Posted by NeloAngelo
          View Post

          not even a chuckle.




          **************** YOU ****************************
          <div class="signaturecontainer"><b><font size="5"><div align="center">MFPOMFS</div></font></b><br />
          <br />
          ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫ ♪♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪♫♪</div>

          Comment


          • #6






            Quote Originally Posted by Pepi
            View Post

            **************** YOU ****************************




            You wouldn't like it. He just lays there
            It's 4am woman make up your mind. EITHER SPIT IT OUT OR SWALLOW IT!!!

            Comment


            • #7






              Quote Originally Posted by Pepi
              View Post

              **************** YOU ****************************




              You wouldn't like it. He just lays there
              It's 4am woman make up your mind. EITHER SPIT IT OUT OR SWALLOW IT!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Hilarious!
                <div class="signaturecontainer"><div class="bbcode_container">
                <div class="bbcode_quote">
                <div class="quote_container">
                <div class="bbcode_quote_container"></div>

                <div class="bbcode_postedby">
                <img src="images/misc/quote_icon.png" alt="Quote" /> Originally Posted by <strong>satannica</strong>
                <a href="showthread.php?p=42832697#post42832697" rel="nofollow"><img class="inlineimg" src="images/buttons/viewpost-right.png" alt="View Post" /></a>
                </div>
                <div class="message">I sold a picture of my wang on the internet to some bloke for £20.<br />
                <br />
                The joke was on him though, it was someone else's wang <img src="http://img3.harmony-central.com/acapella/ubb/biggrin.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Big Grin" class="inlineimg" /><br />
                <br />
                LOLZ!!!!</div>

                </div>
                </div>
                </div> </div>

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hilarious!
                  <div class="signaturecontainer"><div class="bbcode_container">
                  <div class="bbcode_quote">
                  <div class="quote_container">
                  <div class="bbcode_quote_container"></div>

                  <div class="bbcode_postedby">
                  <img src="images/misc/quote_icon.png" alt="Quote" /> Originally Posted by <strong>satannica</strong>
                  <a href="showthread.php?p=42832697#post42832697" rel="nofollow"><img class="inlineimg" src="images/buttons/viewpost-right.png" alt="View Post" /></a>
                  </div>
                  <div class="message">I sold a picture of my wang on the internet to some bloke for £20.<br />
                  <br />
                  The joke was on him though, it was someone else's wang <img src="http://img3.harmony-central.com/acapella/ubb/biggrin.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Big Grin" class="inlineimg" /><br />
                  <br />
                  LOLZ!!!!</div>

                  </div>
                  </div>
                  </div> </div>

                  Comment


                  • #10






                    Quote Originally Posted by Belva
                    View Post

                    You wouldn't like it. He just lays there




                    I've heard that
                    <div class="signaturecontainer"><b><font size="5"><div align="center">MFPOMFS</div></font></b><br />
                    <br />
                    ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫ ♪♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪♫♪</div>

                    Comment


                    • #11






                      Quote Originally Posted by Belva
                      View Post

                      You wouldn't like it. He just lays there




                      I've heard that
                      <div class="signaturecontainer"><b><font size="5"><div align="center">MFPOMFS</div></font></b><br />
                      <br />
                      ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫ ♪♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪♫♪</div>

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        What does the octogenarian pirate say?



                        Aye, matey.
                        <div class="signaturecontainer"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/ENSMB?ref=hl" target="_blank">Emperor Norton's Stationary Marching Band</a><br />
                        <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Eight-Foot-Manchild/139359172795381?ref=hl" target="_blank">Eight Foot Manchild</a></div>

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          What does the octogenarian pirate say?



                          Aye, matey.
                          <div class="signaturecontainer"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/ENSMB?ref=hl" target="_blank">Emperor Norton's Stationary Marching Band</a><br />
                          <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Eight-Foot-Manchild/139359172795381?ref=hl" target="_blank">Eight Foot Manchild</a></div>

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            The key to making things like this funny is delivery and context. These lines would be much funnier if nonchalantly peppered into casual conversation. You know, as opposed to reading them one after the other or hearing a stand-up comedian rattle em off one after the other.
                            <div class="signaturecontainer">&quot;You forget, this is HCAF, where everyone thinks like Stephen Hawking, fights like Manny Pacquiao, pulls trim like Justin Timberlake, and emotes like The Terminator...as long as it's someone else's dog who died&quot; -Benjamin801<br />
                            <br />
                            Gear:<br />
                            Yamaha SBG700S -&gt; Peavey Classic 50 410 / Kustom Double Cross<br />
                            Yamaha SBG700S -&gt; Digitech Bad Monkey -&gt; Mesa/Boogie F-50 head -&gt; Avatar 4x12 with v30s<br />
                            <br />
                            Droppin similes like i got holes in my pants pockets.</div>

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              The key to making things like this funny is delivery and context. These lines would be much funnier if nonchalantly peppered into casual conversation. You know, as opposed to reading them one after the other or hearing a stand-up comedian rattle em off one after the other.
                              <div class="signaturecontainer">&quot;You forget, this is HCAF, where everyone thinks like Stephen Hawking, fights like Manny Pacquiao, pulls trim like Justin Timberlake, and emotes like The Terminator...as long as it's someone else's dog who died&quot; -Benjamin801<br />
                              <br />
                              Gear:<br />
                              Yamaha SBG700S -&gt; Peavey Classic 50 410 / Kustom Double Cross<br />
                              Yamaha SBG700S -&gt; Digitech Bad Monkey -&gt; Mesa/Boogie F-50 head -&gt; Avatar 4x12 with v30s<br />
                              <br />
                              Droppin similes like i got holes in my pants pockets.</div>

                              Comment

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