Members LCK Posted April 1, 2013 Members Share Posted April 1, 2013 Here's a little something I just worked up this morning. Far from finished. Just some initial paint strokes. Summer's WaltzSummer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted April 1, 2013 Members Share Posted April 1, 2013 This is a really well crafted lyric.If I'm being super picky, the only weak point is some of the language in the sounds dated, but even still, I don't think it's a big problem.catching rays, sweat as a peach, summer blues.I aslo don't know that I like the repitition of the word 'dog.'The last verse is perfection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted April 1, 2013 Author Members Share Posted April 1, 2013 rhino55 wrote: This is a really well crafted lyric. If I'm being super picky, the only weak point is some of the language in the sounds dated, but even still, I don't think it's a big problem. catching rays, sweat as a peach, summer blues. I aslo don't know that I like the repitition of the word 'dog.' The last verse is perfection. I'm quite sure some of the language sounds dated. I can't get Johnny Mercer out of my head.Yeah, the "dog" line is undergoing some changes.Here's the latest version.Summer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted April 2, 2013 Moderators Share Posted April 2, 2013 Elsie K! Don't you just love the way Siri interprets phrases? You are the king of the rewrite my friend. Seriously, wow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted April 2, 2013 Moderators Share Posted April 2, 2013 Wow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted April 2, 2013 Author Members Share Posted April 2, 2013 Lee Knight wrote: Elsie K! Don't you just love the way Siri interprets phrases? You are the king of the rewrite my friend. Seriously, wow! Just getting started, my friend.I didn't quite like the "patches of greens and tans," and the window fans. Maybe I'll come back to it.But for now... When we get diz-zy on sun-drenched daysfrom toss-ing Frisbees or catch-ing rays,from canoeing or doing a couple somersaultswe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted April 3, 2013 Moderators Share Posted April 3, 2013 I love the way your mind works else CK. And I love my Siri. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted April 4, 2013 Author Members Share Posted April 4, 2013 Final draft (except the line in red)? Sunlit patches of golds and greens,screen door latches and ice machines,and a walk down the block for root beers or malts,they Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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