New music on youtube

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Well, not my cuppa tea. Besides being poorly recorded, I found the vocals to be whiny in both melodic development and in execution. The song is very hard to follow with it's many separate parts that didn't seem to be fitting together very well, nor even necessary. Since it was well over 6 minutes, you could have trimmed it down to 3 minutes and made a couple of songs out of it.

That said, the playing is tight, the guitars sounded decent (from what I could hear of them on the tape) and you have some real potential as a band. I just didn't find that song very well written nor all that interesting. It sounded quite self indulgent, IMO. Alll the tempo changes and stop breaks might be impressive to other musicians in the crowd, but I try to listen to everything through the average Joe's ears, who is less concerned about technical ability. I kept looking for a hook and a theme, both of which seemed to have escaped the song.

Hi... I gave it a quick listen. I wasn't able to make out any of the words so no input there. And the musical style is not one I find much traction in, so I'm not sure my comments would be all that helpful.

I think someone more attuned to the style might have more trenchant comments about this track. (For instance, I come from the 3 minute song mindset, by and large... so while 6 minutes might not be long for some, it's too long for me unless something really special is going on.)

BTW, if you should want constructive crit on the lyrics, you might want to post them. I really couldn't make out any of the lyrics, despite the fact that the club mix had the vocals really up there.

I strongly suspect the track might really reach some folks, so don't take my comments negatively.

hated it.

Do you have a properly (or not) recorded audio version?

I can't make out anything and even worse I have to wait a whole lot for the video to download (hey! Not everyone has 10MB lines!!)

I cannot comment any more than that.

I think eagle1's comment highlights an emerging issue...

If you want a critique about your songwriting (and that is why we're in this forum, right?) it's probably best to present an audio recording (last time I checked something like 40% of Americans were still on dial-up). That's not to say a vid can't work (for those who have the bandwidth) but I think from what I've seen, it can be a real distraction from the song as a song.

Also... on either a vid or audio, unless your lyrics are really out front (and maybe even if they are), if you want constructive crit on your songwriting, it would probably be a good idea to include your lyrics in your posted music (or a link to them).

Many of us are uncomfortable with our "naked" lyrics on the printed page (screen) -- after all, it's only part of the song and it can be hard to "judge" them without the intended music, for sure -- but it's the most simple and direct way to get people linking up the words with the music.

And, finally... about constructive criticism...

D-drone asked for "feedback" and he got a quick short blast of it from one of our posters here and, you know, I guess that's fair enough.

But if you go to the trouble of actually listening to the music that someone has screwed up the courage to post here, it might be helpful -- if you find yourself hating something -- to at least try to figure out why and let them know.

And that can be done in such a way that it doesn't come off as a slagging or an attack.

It's natural that we're not going to like everything -- but if you can explain why, it can help someone improve their craft and you might not end up hating their next one... as bad.

And, finally, this is, as I noted, the songwriting forum and, while I think comments about production, performance, instrumental skill may be somewhat pertinent to our discussions here, there are really better forums to post here at HC if you're looking for feedback/crit on those aspects.

So, if you want feedback on your chops, throw yourself in front of the heathens in one of the guitar or other instrument forums. (Just kidding, heathens! ) Ditto for recording/production issues. These issues can certainly be valid discussion points in this forum, don't get me wrong. But I think it could be helpful if we keep our focus mostly on the songcraft, here.

Anyhow, D-drone, I wish we'd been able to offer you more informative feedback. As I mentioned above, I'm sure there are folks who would enjoy this. And if you were to post lyrics (and you wanted the constructive criticism) I'd certainly be happy to wade back in and give you the benefit of my own, rather limited wisdom.

Ok, I'm listening for the second time. I really like how the melody feels over the guitar rythm at the start. It kind of reminds me of muse initially and then breaks into more of the dance type rock thing going on right now. Like the others have said, lyrics would be nice to have to know what's going on in that area. Good lyrics could make me like this song a pretty good bit but the opposite is true unfortunately so I'll be interested to hear em when you put them up hopefully. The middle where the band kind of drops out and it's just the singer and his guitar is a little too much of that for me. It just seems a little self indulgent in the context of this song. The high points of the song for me are when the full band is in. I don't know if you have ever listened to Lovedrug but their first cd does this type of music about as good as I've ever heard it so you might want to check it out. I did enjoy listening to the song and I think it would have been a lot of fun to hear it live. I would be interested in hearing a studio type recorded version of it if there is one.

Its not a vocal style that I'm really crazy about but as far as that goes its ok....rhythm guitar and drums are good at the beginning.

I agree with oddestmoose there. A guitar or bass part that fits well with teh guitarist would be a good for the backgroudn....not that I say change the singer's guitar part, just add in another guitar or bass part that fits.

At about 1:40 left of the song, the drum sounds awkward.

As far as the length, if it had a slightly more driving guitar part, I'd say never cut it. I love the 7-minute power if you can make a crowd actually like it, and bands just dont do that anymore. Good song, cant wait for lyrics.

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Wull... mebbe.

Is it about someone asked by his family to perform an honor killing but he just really wants to get loaded, instead? He does kill the girl, yes?

Anyhow, nothing wrong with enigmatic lyrics, but I've listened and reread these a few times and the shapes are not coming out of the mist for me...

That well may not be the point, so, you know... you've got to decide for yourself how you want to communicate with your audience... there's no right way or wrong way... but there may be ways that are more effective for certain audiences... or the literal meanings may not even be significant factors in the big equation.

BTW... the repeated phrase, "on mass"... Do you mean en masse (in mass, or in group)? At first I thought it was about liturgical mass/ the Eucharist, and all that...

Gave it a listen, hard to get past the bad recording. I couldn't really understand the words, which is a hindrance to good criticism. Also did think it was too long. Would like to hear a good copy.

sam