Check out my new odd lyrics - Keepers

I called this song Keepers as in Keepers of the Wastelands which is a story about a post apocalyptic area in the north somewhere in Alaska/Canada/Ukraine/Syberia.

What happened is that an explosion happened is an atom processing factory causing the plant to implode and to send dangerous anomalies and radiation to about 30 or more miles around the plant which even hit a few towns around the factory, to protect the citizens from the danger of the anomalies, mutants and bandits the army sent a team called "Hunters" which were to keep the whole thing under a low profile.

Thing is that theories are rising up regarding the accident in the factory saying it's a cover up. The story follows Perry Noir who's one of the Hunters and is so fed up with theories that he doesnt believe anything at all, only his own eyes and even then doubts it.

The song revolves around that, kinda.

Wake up, it's time to go

Lets see what understand, what you know

What dangers lie in the marsh swamps

What's your reaction when time comes

All you believe could be a lie

And there's a good chance that you may die

You risk your life and for what cause?

You know what happened? what was?

You see, are you sure?

You can be just as blind

You think you are right

They control whats in your mind

Slowly you think

Your brain gains knowledge

You let go of the trigger

Think of what they said

Probably there is no answer

You cant trust anything today

It's hard to determine

What's wrong and what's right

Soon after wards

It will only turn out

Paranoia ensues

And you just might

Figure the madness

But it will cause too much fright

I also decided to adopt my odd way of writing lyrics, I think it gives them a nice ring.

Here's a suggestion. And this is really crazy so bear with me. Scrap the lyrics entirelly and make this a spoken word piece in which you recite the preface you gave us to these lyrics. Your preface is awesome. It's goofy and heartfelt and true. Your love for the source material shines through. THere's a clarity of purpose there. The lyrics...not so much. They could be about anything. Or nothing. I don't know. They're confusing.

But I mean, I perked right up when you start with:

"I called this song Keepers as in Keepers of the Wastelands which is a story about a post apocalyptic area in the north somewhere in Alaska/Canada/Ukraine/Syberia."

That's good stuff.

I'm dead serious.

I'm with Matximus...use that and inject rhymes where needed. That was good story telling...the other a bit criptic. Maybe a mix of the both of them.

Guide me a bit here, I am really not sure what to do.

What happened is that an explosion happened is an atom processing factory causing the plant to implode and to send dangerous anomalies and radiation to about 30 or more miles around the plant which even hit a few towns around the factory, to protect the citizens from the danger of the anomalies, mutants and bandits the army sent a team called "Hunters" which were to keep the whole thing under a low profile.

Thing is that theories are rising up regarding the accident in the factory saying it's a cover up. The story follows Perry Noir who's one of the Hunters and is so fed up with theories that he doesnt believe anything at all, only his own eyes and even then doubts it.

What happened in that explosion

Implosions that sent dangerous radiation

Miles and miles round the planet

Filled with mutants anomilieas and bandits

That was real quick but you can make a whole song from writings like these...it actually is a good way to write.

I do this often...write a complete short story and don't worry about rhymes...then go back to the begging of your story and start to piece it together...great way to get a song and actually have it have a beggining middle and end!!.

So you are saying take my story and basically write it into a song as it is?

Yep...you might want to write a short story on this idea...write it all the way out...beggining middle climax and ending...worst case is you will have a nice short story...best of all you get a song...it won't go exactley like your story...you will pinch and shake words here and there to get song rhymes and so on...it might even vere off some...thats ok...its your story and your song!!

The thing IS a short story though, but I just wanted to make it into a song more than a short story.

Ok...

Sorry I am just really confused right now.

Yeah. You're getting confusing signals.

What I was trying to say is that you did a better job explaining what your lyrics are about than you did actually writing the lyrics.

Try and write your lyrics more like you did that post: funny, rambling, strange but with a point. You were actually telling us something in that post: Here's this cool short story I tried to make into a song.

But the actual song didn't tell us anything. It was a bunch of words slopped together with little coherance. There's nothing wrong with that, really. I know you said you're pretty new to writing lyrics and you have to write a lot of crap at first.

You seem like a far out dude with interesting things to say. You just need to find your voice. I guess I'm urging you to try and be less writerly and artistic in your lyrics. It's not working for you. Write like you're trying to tell somebody something urgent.

OK, I'll give it a go.