MrKnobs

Assuming it's like sex, where sluts give it away and whores charge for it, that would make me (mostly) a post whore.

Terry D.

I MUCH prefer THIS because the list includes me.

Terry D.

I use a Gateway laptop for field recording. It hasn't let me down yet. (knocks on wooden table).

 

Terry D.

Never heard of it.

Terry D.

A couple of days ago she had a one night stand with a straight girl, which produced some bizarre and hilarious conversation for days. She posted some of it over on OJ, but I suspect she didn't post it here because it's a bit raunchy.

Terry D.

You know just how bad it is considering the number of guys she probably unsuccesfully hit on in the club even before she focused on us. To my experienced eye, she was somewhere between the "20 minutes to nail her before she pukes and probably passes out" stage and the Rohypnol stage. I mean, under other circumstances, she could easily have been the girl in the dressing room bathroom pulling a "train."

Ugh!

Terry D.

We should be that lucky. This dude is a parasite, basically. He introduced himself to us as a "promoter" but really he's just a dork who likes to hang around bands and feel like he's part of the scene. He lives with his dad and has no car, and he definitely has no social skills whatsoever.

When he first contacted us, he talked a big game and, though we didn't believe him for a moment, we wasted a few press kits on him to see if he could really get us shows where he said he could. The answer, of course, is NO.

Even if this guy does catch the jack from the drunk chick, at least he got laid for probably the first time in his life. There is no way in hell he would have hooked up with this reasonably hot chick without the cascading series of shoe scrapings from above as each of us (her primary targets) rejected her for our various reasons. She's definitely cute enough to have had her pick of most guys in that club if she hadn't been both so sloppy drunk and so pathetically desperate.

She needed an intervention / rescue mission, not a date. I hardly exchanged words with her, but it was obvious she had baggage stacked higher than Union Station during a porter strike.

Terry D.

I know what you mean.

T.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is rock 'n roll.

Terry D.

Then it would have been like the night before, when she was NOT there and some drunk chick was all over me and had to be scraped off.

Meaning it made no difference that my wife was there Sunday night, other than I had to find a way to let the Sunday night chick know ASAP before she embarassed herself too much.

At my age, I'm not terribly attracted to strange drunk chicks making fools of themselves at a club, no matter how attractive they are.

Terry D.

OLD MrKnobs has been getting some (attempted) action lately too!

At Saturday night's show I had some drunk freaky woman hanging on me trying to kiss me. I unloaded her on Pebblestar and that was quite a show. I guess she didn't have a strong gender preference....

At last night's show something similar happened. Another inebriated girl, another incident. I think this one was mostly interested in Pebblestar, but as I was loading gear into my truck she was getting all gushy and huggy with me which I had to put a stop to since my wife was standing several feet away. The wife showed up separately and unexpectedly so I don't think this girl knew we were together.

Anyway, she's all over both Pebble and me and my wife is standing with her arms folded amused at my discomfort. I'm looking for an escape hatch as the girl is talking nonstop and suddenly she gives it to me. She starts complimenting me on my new Toyota Truck and and I slip in "Talk to her about it while I'm loading, it's her truck too."

The girl's face gets slightly less dim and she says, "Oh, you're his wife..." and starts stammering out assorted random combinations of denials, excuses, and apologies which coalesce into she's really just interested in Pebble which is the truth anyway. I finish loading and get in the truck. Pebble asks me if I think she should bag the chick and I shrug, "Why not, you're young and single."

Pebble says, "Your wife told me it's a bad idea." In full earshot of my wife, I reply, "My wife doesn't remember being young, and she's way too conservative to know how to have a good time. I say, go for it. It might be good or bad, but either way it'll be an adventure. Try to nail her before the puking starts."

I have no idea whether she did or not, I caught one last glance at them in my side mirror embracing on the sidewalk in front of Darwin's. I suspect you'll hear about it when Pebble shows up here next time.

Terry D.

Twenty years passed before I wrote my groupie story for a reason.

Terry D.

Fortunately, it really doesn't work like that....

Terry D.

(1) There's really no such thing as a "random girl." Groupies are just girls you don't know yet. Turns out they are people just like you and me, who have hopes and dreams and aspirations and jobs and problems and want to be loved but have a crazy way of getting it. Read my story.

(2) I care about love far more than I care about sex. Always have. I have a terrible affliction that causes me to feel strong feelings of love for anyone I have sex with. I thought I'd outgrow that but I never did. My mother tried to teach me that sex was bad, but she failed so I guess she "didn't raise me right."

(3) Strongly recommend you find a different girlfriend, maybe swap the one who would murder you for the more common kind who will simply leave you for cheating.

Terry D.

As a scientist I must inform you that anything can be bent, no matter what its elastic modulus (flaccid or erect in this case), if sufficient force is applied to exceed its flexural strength.

Of course it may break instead of just bend, depending on the toughness of the material. Toughness is just the area under the stress vs strain curve.

Hope that helps!

Terry D.

Well, mine was longer, anyway.

T.

Three that aren't banned yet. None posting on this thread, though.

T.

Cool!

Now you and fuzzy need to get writin', it's your turn. I was off work for a month when I wrote my story.

T.

Relax guys. It's just all my alt monikers showing up.

Terry D.

P.S. And it WAS 30,000 words. I think that might have had something to do with it.

that and all my shameless self-promotion

Thanks.

T.

I'm debating whether to write the prequel or the sequel first. The sequel might get me divorced.

Terry D.

Geez, it's not Hemingway or Steinbeck.

Thanks, though.

Terry D.

*tries and fails to wrap mind around concept of someone being "afraid" to PM me*

It won't take me more than a couple of posts to disillusion them about me being an interesting guy.

Terry D.

I knew immediately that picture was photoshopped because even the holding cells have stainless steel toilets with no lid.



Terry D.

P.S. Also they get you into a jumpsuit pretty quick.