Members rumblebelly Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or just trying to sort out some sort of solution in my head. My girlfriend and I just moved in together this weekend into split level house. Before we moved in together she knew that band practice will occur wherever I live. So we had practice last night for the first time on the lower level and she was amazed at how loud it was throughout the rest of the house. My drums alone seem tolerable but a whole band is another story. I tried to dampen the sound with some drywall and soundboard, it helps some. I'm considering building a room within that room but I'd hate to have to do that. Anyway, she was pretty irritated that I had band practice already (we had to rehearse for a show tonight) and the fact she had to unpack during the practice session. I guess normally she'd be out of the house, taking the dog for a walk or something...but that's the way women are, they gotta get their living situations all taken care of right away. Anyway, we got into a bit of a fight about it after practice. I'm mostly in trouble because I spent so much time getting the band room ready and dealing with band stuff instead of unpacking. I just hope things will get better once we get settled in. I'm sure there are guys here with families that make it work. I know there's obvious solutions like compromise and practice when the other one is gone. I'm just curious if there's others that had the same problem and what you did to deal with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members steamyz Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Stories like this remind me of how lucky i am - and i don't mean that in a condesending way! If it were me - i would tell her she knew this was the case before she moved in and she is going to need to find a way to deal with it without playing the victim role and making you feel guilty! Say this calmly and look into her eyes gently! Tell her how important she is and how important your music is. Tell her how music makes you feel - and how she makes you feel! Tell her you love her and will do aning in your power to make it a better situation for her while again reminding her she knew this up front. If she can't snap into shape! Tell her to GET THE {censored} OUT! :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members xerosleep Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 That's not a good sign if she's already hassleing you about it right off the bat. It'll probably get worse as her patience and tolerance gets less and less every day she has to deal with it. Good luck with that o_0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members steamyz Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Do they have "lockout" studios where you live bro? May be the easiest long term solution! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Old Steve Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Man, Rumble, I didn't even want to open your post based on the title. Mabye we should just start a 'how playing in a band has had a negative effect on my relationship' board. Every musician in the world would be on it. Anyway, don't really have much in the way of advice for you besides the obvious stuff. I'm lucky because my band rehearses in a rented rehearsal space...we pay about $100 for a 4 hour rehearsal, so it works out to $20 per person, which is fairly reasonable. You might want to explore that option. Obviously, if you can't rehearse elsewhere, you just gotta get a fixed schedule and then stick to it. If rehearsal is from 7pm to 11pm on Thursday nights, don't let the guitarist show up at 6:30 and start tuning, and don't allow any noodling after your time's up. The REAL solution is something that men have been trying to get to for a million years or so....learning to deal with women. My wife will often agree to things without thinking them all the way through, and then I'm the bad guy when things don't go according to HER plans. Case in point: say I schedule a gig for Saturday night...she says no problem, have fun. Saturday rolls around, and we're running errands during the afternoon. Around 3pm, I say we have to go home so I can pack my kit and get ready, and now she's mad because we're not done running errands?!? In the end, I'll end up in the doghouse because SHE didn't think of all the consequences (that I need time BEFORE the gig in order to do the gig) of the decision before she agreed to it. Sorry man, you're not going to win this one. At best you might get to a comprimise. Just think of it as part of the curse of being born with your plumbing on the outside. Hey, at least get to pee standing up...that's gotta be worth something! PS: get to know the local florist. Get a standing order for the "I'm Sorry" bouquet. It's saved my bacon maaaaaany times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Old Steve Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Originally posted by steamyz Stories like this remind me of how lucky i am - and i don't mean that in a condesending way! If it were me - i would tell her she knew this was the case before she moved in and she is going to need to find a way to deal with it without playing the victim role and making you feel guilty! Say this calmly and look into her eyes gently! Tell her how important she is and how important your music is. Tell her how music makes you feel - and how she makes you feel! Tell her you love her and will do aning in your power to make it a better situation for her while again reminding her she knew this up front. If she can't snap into shape! Tell her to GET THE {censored} OUT! :-) How's single life treating you, Steamyz?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members steamyz Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Steve - she would have gotten dumped a long time ago for those games. You should look into a lockout. Even in LA - i pay $400 a MONTH and have 24 hour access - and have built a full studio out in there.....cheap office space too :-) I am sure there has to be something in your area like it. If not - start one - the make a {censored} load of money! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rumblebelly Posted February 26, 2004 Author Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Well, the circumstances have been extreme this week. The move was pretty stressful and it's not over. We practice about 2x a week for about 2-3 hours. I think she can handle that. Yeah Steve, I know what you mean. She had a pretty good idea what she was getting into. I made it very, very clear how loud it can be and she was like "that's okay, I know how much this means to you". I don't think she expected it to be so annoying. I think once we get settled it won't bother her so much. She knows what music means to me and she's incredibly supportive, I think last night she just kinda snapped. Apparently I failed to notice how much she unpacked right away and she took my good-natured teasing the wrong way. Obviously I slipped a cog, part of the fight was my fault. She's not playing games, she's not that way at all. Women are sometimes just like men in that regard, we/they only hear what we/they wanna hear. Well, Das Highrollers will be extint at the end of June. Our singer is getting transferred to Cali. I hope she can hold out til then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members steamyz Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Originally posted by Old Steve How's single life treating you, Steamyz?? HA - my fiance is a drummer - it's all good! Promo video - jen playing Something even cooler - met this girl at a party - the three of us made out - SHE's a drummer too! We have since become closer :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members madworld2 Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 i had this problem, i tried the lot, sticking egg boxes on the walls to absorb the sound(something to do with the shape makes it softer or something, any way it doesnt work), I tried putting muffling pads on thedrums, but theres still the guitar amps, and it made my drums sound {censored}, but this is the best was to sound proof a room. get a 3" thick carpet laid on the floor, and make sure you nail it down well in gaps of 2 foot square, then get a 2 " thick carpet all around the walls, using the same nailing measurment, carpet would be the best thing for the roof too but its probably gonna fall down, so just glue blocks of polistirine to the celing...sounds odd but but trust me it works, and make sure that in all the carpet and polistirine there must be no gaps or cracks any where or it doesnt work and the carpet on the wall must be all one piece, then get and remaining carpet and stick it round the gaps in the door when you are in the room....this sounds weird but i did it and it reduces the sound be about 95% do either this or dump your girlfriend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rumblebelly Posted February 26, 2004 Author Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Originally posted by steamyz HA - my fiance is a drummer - it's all good!Promo video - jen playingSomething even cooler - met this girl at a party - the three of us made out - SHE's a drummer too! We have since become closer :-) What? No way.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members steamyz Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Originally posted by rumblebelly What? No way.... i swear to god - what a TRIP - she has her drums set up in the living room! Havn't seen her play yet but based on her set-up - she probably can. I can tell you - female drummers all have solid technigue - if ya know what im sayin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rumblebelly Posted February 26, 2004 Author Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 I think you are full of it. You are telling me that you, your fiance, and another girl that just happens to play drums as well had some kind of a threesome. You guys swingers or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Snake Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Um, is her name Yoko? Sounds like it was more an issue of her wanting to get unpacked and settled in, but you were focused on band stuff instead. If she's as supportive as you say, it probably won't be a problem in the future. If it is, try to schedule things so that she can go out with friends or go shopping or something while you have the band over to practice. Works for me - when I have the guys over, my wife takes the kids to visit their grandparents for the evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members steamyz Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Originally posted by rumblebelly I think you are full of it. You are telling me that you, your fiance, and another girl that just happens to play drums as well had some kind of a threesome. You guys swingers or something? Im not going to hi jack your thread here - no we are not swingers. Jen dated woman for years - we had never done anything like it but eh - it is the truth. We found out afterwards she was a drummer.....not to mentioned she lived in a small town in Nothern California that i did - not less than 2 blocks from me. Pretty strange! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rumblebelly Posted February 26, 2004 Author Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Originally posted by Snake Um, is her name Yoko? Sounds like it was more an issue of her wanting to get unpacked and settled in, but you were focused on band stuff instead. If she's as supportive as you say, it probably won't be a problem in the future. If it is, try to schedule things so that she can go out with friends or go shopping or something while you have the band over to practice. Works for me - when I have the guys over, my wife takes the kids to visit their grandparents for the evening. I think you hit the nail on the head. I tend to make things more of an issue than what they are. She truly is a wonderful woman so I don't really anticipate in huge problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rumblebelly Posted February 26, 2004 Author Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Originally posted by steamyz Promo video - jen playingSomething even cooler - met this girl at a party - the three of us made out - SHE's a drummer too! We have since become closer :-) So, you got any more "videos" that you might let us see...wink, wink. Just kidding. That's cool, I'm just jealous that's all. My girlfriend is as straight as an arrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members steamyz Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Originally posted by rumblebelly So, you got any more "videos" that you might let us see...wink, wink.Just kidding. That's cool, I'm just jealous that's all. My girlfriend is as straight as an arrow. Dude - all i can say is - go there if you can! Pretty dam cool deal! Something i never thought i would experince - not to mention with some hot chick that also plays drums. No video yet hahaha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members steamyz Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Originally posted by rumblebelly I think you hit the nail on the head. I tend to make things more of an issue than what they are. She truly is a wonderful woman so I don't really anticipate in huge problems. That's really cool! Sounds like you need to get unpacked and settled and them maybe have a talk about boundries. Set them NOW while it is early in the game as it will pay off later TRUST ME! Make it clear you will NEVER give up music for her (unless you would) and that if you are in a band and they practice there - that she needs to put up with it. Awe hell - you know what to do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kenm Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Hey, I don't know if anyone already mentioned this, but get the amps off the floor. Use those Auralex Grammas as the worst part is probably that she only hears a rumble and not the actual music. It is actually more annoying. Uncoupling the amps from the floor will help that a lot. Ken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DarthWader Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 I don't have any advice, I just wanted to say congratulations on the move-in with your girlfriend. That's awesome. I hope you two have a long happy future. Wade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rumblebelly Posted February 26, 2004 Author Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 Thanks Wade, that was very kind of you to say that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bobby Litski Posted February 26, 2004 Members Share Posted February 26, 2004 I've heard using egg cartons all along the walls (gonna take a hella long time to get that many) will do a good job dampening the sound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DeepDeath Posted February 27, 2004 Members Share Posted February 27, 2004 Originally posted by steamyz HA - my fiance is a drummer - it's all good!Promo video - jen playingSomething even cooler - met this girl at a party - the three of us made out - SHE's a drummer too! We have since become closer :-) That audience is definitly not at the Whisky, that crowd was like 40 times as big as the Whisky can fit. That's the thing with these LA Clubs, there pretty {censored}ty but they have such a reputation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members burque Posted February 27, 2004 Members Share Posted February 27, 2004 Originally posted by steamyz If it were me - i would tell her she knew this was the case before she moved in and she is going to need to find a way to deal with it without playing the victim role and making you feel guilty! Say this calmly and look into her eyes gently! Tell her how important she is and how important your music is. Tell her how music makes you feel - and how she makes you feel! Tell her you love her and will do aning in your power to make it a better situation for her while again reminding her she knew this up front. Excellent advice, I would also add "eat her {censored} for an unusually long time afterwards", but that's just me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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