Members jdrummys Posted March 30, 2010 Members Share Posted March 30, 2010 Ive been in the cover band scene for about the last 10 years. Ive never been completely happy...either bad- or no gigs, difficult people, logistical problems, etc. I finally found a band about a year ago who I really like as people and who gig regularly. They are very easy to get along with. I like the songs(good variety). However, they live in NJ and I live in PA, so its about a 50 minute ride to practice once a week. A lot of their gigs are also that far and basically have a lot of unattractive townies there. People dont tend to dance too much. Another issue for me is the three of them went to high school together and have known each other for years, and same with most of their following. Not to mention, the three of their wives are at pretty much every gig, while mine is usually home since we have a young baby. No matter how they try to include me, I always feel like the "odd man out". Which brings me to my dilemma- the other day an old bandmate of mine (who was always a fun guy, but could be hot headed at times) called me and said his band is looking for a drummer. Their current one has issues with drinking so they are getting rid of him. This band plays all of their gigs and practice within 30 minutes from my house. They play better places and judging from the pics, they have a much bigger and dance-oriented following. He says they are good guys and there isnt much conflict. However, they do play more pop music than I would like. But i guess thats how you get people dancing. I would have a lot of guilt leaving my current band, but this could be a better situation. Also, being in both bands is not a solution. I dont have that kind of free time. Any input/advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members marko46 Posted March 30, 2010 Members Share Posted March 30, 2010 As I see it, you're fortunate to have a choice. Cutting out drive time, just as many gigs, plus, possibly better gigs is a "no-brainer". Picking the "perfect" band is a "bitch". A band is like having a second family, I can get sick of them if they act like idiots and things never change. Manoeuver said it best, he goes and meets the band a couple time first, then decides if he even likes them. That's a good idea, but like any relationship, you don't truly know one another till you've taken a {censored} in their house a few times and vise versa. I quit a band last September that I played with 11 months that I could have stayed with. HUGE {censored}ing ego with the singer. We gigged every week at least one night, but usually two. The longer I was around them, the less I liked two of them in particular. I told them up front I was leaving, but would stay until they found a replacement, which I did. They're still gigging just as regular, if not more. But someone I know met the lead singer, who is a dick. Asked him if he knew me because he found out the name of the band, and new I had played with them, hell, went to the studio and cut two CD's with them. The singer told him he had no idea who I was and had never heard of me. Now, I could really give a {censored}, but what are you 11? So my only suggestion would be is to go see your buddy's band play in a club a couple times. Go meet the other members and shoot the {censored}, then decide. But it's still a crap shoot. I'd love to meet a couple guitarists and a bass player that weren't ego maniacs, or full blown druggie/alcoholics, that just want to gig once a month, maybe twice and play all originals. Good luck with that as far as I'm concerned. And yea, if you won't to play in a cover band that gigs a lot, draws a dancing type crowd, you're gonna have to play more pop type music. For me it got to the point if I had to play "She's Hot", or "Comfortably Dumb" one more time, I was gonna puke. I wish ya luck man and hope it works out for ya. marko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Black Frog Posted March 30, 2010 Members Share Posted March 30, 2010 I would have a lot of guilt leaving my current band, but this could be a better situation. Why would you feel guilty? If you're moving on to a better situation, and you give them plenty of advance notice to find another drummer, I don't see why you should feel guilty. You can all stay friends and part ways on great terms. I'd go and have a session or two with the new group to 'get the feel for things'. See how you guys gel, how the personalities blend for a few jam sessions. Be up front and let them know you are seeing how things go before you commit to anything. If they aren't willing to invest a no-commitment session or two in you, they might not be the people you want to invest YOUR time with either. If you like it, you can tell your other band that you'll be moving on. If you can keep going with them until they find a replacement- that would go a long way for keeping good relationships. Avoid bad feelings and burned bridges if possible- they rarely turn out well for either party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members manoeuver Posted March 30, 2010 Members Share Posted March 30, 2010 Man the only thing I'd be looking for in a band right now would be $1K/week. That would be tolerable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members marko46 Posted March 30, 2010 Members Share Posted March 30, 2010 Black Frog, I agree with all of these things, but unfortunately, that's not how things seem to work out. Kinda what I was trying to say, just in a very poor, bitter way is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FitchFY Posted March 30, 2010 Members Share Posted March 30, 2010 From what you've said, taking the new "pop band" gig seems like common sense to me. 1.) If you take the NJ band, you're going to use up in gas what you'd be making playing in the band in no time and apparently not have a ton of fun doing it. So that's out. 2.) Your current band sounds like a "well, it's better than nothing" gig - you're not enthralled to be in it and are looking. You already made your choice. 3.) The new band, though perhaps not musically ideal, sounds like good cats, good fans, good money, and if you do it all the right way with plenty of notice, you took the high road. Maybe the pop band drummer can go play with your normal crew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members formula428 Posted March 31, 2010 Members Share Posted March 31, 2010 a good lead singer without an ego...lol...good luck!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members boxofrocks Posted March 31, 2010 Members Share Posted March 31, 2010 a good lead singer without an ego...lol...good luck!!! No doubt.. I sure as hell couldn't find one of those.. So now I'm trying to do it myself, and turning into a dick as we speak lol... Seriously though, go play.. Do the one that makes ya happy, and go play... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members boomboomdrums Posted March 31, 2010 Members Share Posted March 31, 2010 If you're going to make the move, do your research first. Make sure that the band really gigs and plays out and everyone gets along. Could be real, but also could be first date syndrome. Musicians tend to blow a lot of smoke. You just want to make sure you don't make the move and then find out they gig once every 2 months and the bass player can't stand the sax player and vice versa. But if it's on the up and up, sounds like a good move for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members slap happy drums Posted March 31, 2010 Members Share Posted March 31, 2010 , but like any relationship, you don't truly know one another till you've taken a {censored} in their house a few times and vise versa. marko you say the sweetest things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members danrothmusic Posted April 2, 2010 Members Share Posted April 2, 2010 go to some shows where the "new" band is playing and see the crowd in person (not just photos), hang out with the band, etc. If you do decide to leave the band you're in now, you may want to offer to fill in until they get a replacement. Don't feel guilty, though, especially if you're not a dick about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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