Am I Making the Right Decision?

[callous]

You say the guy can play, and that the drummer is good.

 

You might not find a better musical situation. Rather than quit, I'd try to make it work.

 

Who is the leader of your band? Perhaps you can ally with your drummer, and put him in his place. Take charge.

 

If not, then try forming a new band with the drummer--a good drummer is pure gold, and just as rare.

[Livid]

 

I'm 49 now and have had many similar experiences like this throughout my performing career. First off, maybe the guy is the type you want to leave in the dust. This type of decision is usually always a tradeoff. He's a dick but he's talented and hard to replace... Welcome to the world of rock. Then there's the other side. Let me tell it from my experience. I have tapes of one band in particular that are just stellar. The guitarist was groundbreaking. A cross between Richard Thompson, Albert Lee and George Harrison/Chet Atkins. All in a power pop context. Just awsome, this guy was. The tapes prove it. I hated his work back then. I hated him. He as a condescending, insecure prick with a short man complex... and he wasn't short. He did eventually go off his rocker and last I heard he was found wasted in his inherited shack of a house polishing off a Coors 12'ver and shooting rats off the back fence. Really. But the thing is... I knew he was a tool and wanted him out. I didn't see he was a deranged genius. Really. I couldn't see it, I despised him so much. What I should have done back then is what I've learned in the corporate world; accept those people that have unique skills and learn to stay out if their way. For their sake but mostly for mine. For my sanity and for my gain. And let the synergism of our individual skill sets work to create something special. It is possible to have the unlikeliest of mates absolutely flourish. I do that today. I work with nerds, people of questionable character, assholes and saints alike. And we get it done... better than the next team. So my point; maybe you can make it work. Accept him for who he is for your sake. I'm not saying that's what you should do, I just saying, it's worth looking at.

 

 

Thanks for the insight. Having experienced members whom positively contribute is what makes these forums so great.

 

I truly appreciate everyones comments. Because of the raw talent in the band I think I will stick it out and work it out.

 

He really is a great bassist whom makes my riffs sound better. I'm not certain that I will ever find my idea bandmates (sober, dependable, much more talented than I [i have little]). He is everything I mentioned above, but since talking with him yesterday I think we worked some stuff out and can continue.

 

I find these relationships much harder than any other because we have to get along on both a personal and professional level.

 

My next challenge is persuading the group to take on a vocalist. I have heard more negative than positive about our current singing.

[slight-return]

 

He is everything I mentioned above,

 

 

I'm a little confused here

one the things you mentioned (and are sticking by) is

It is impossible to have an intelligent conversation with him.

 

but then we're on to

 

but since talking with him yesterday I think we worked some stuff out and can continue.

 

can ya see the logical inconsistency there?

 

I mean, I'm not trying to pull your chain, but consider how the needle's swinging from pin to pin

 

It can get pretty confused if you really feel he is truly a drug addict (as opposed to a guy who's maybe a little irresponsible with his psychopharm ) - as in addicted, as in addictive behavior and all the baggage that comes with chemical dependency

(which can be a real drag...esp as you may be involved -- and the I'm not certain that I will ever find my idea [sic] bandmates -- "it's the best i can do/the evil I know" trap is a classic in codependency)

 

I'm not saying this as a pro-leave / pro-stay thing -- rather -- I suggest getting real solid on your assessment of the situation

[tele-vangelist]

 

I get an email from the guy stating that "whatever it is we can work it out" and an apology ... I suppose communication is extremely important.

 

 

There you go - a perfect excuse to have a man-to-man "balls out" conversation. Tell him exactly how you're feeling, make sure you let him know you want to make it work too but you're having some issues ... lay it all out on the line, you have nothing to lose.

 

Speak to the drummer too, but on your own. Maybe he feels the same way.

[Fendercaster]

Is it the bass player's band? If not, how do the other members feel about him? I would think it would be pretty easy to find another bassist in Atlanta if the other members feel the same way about him as you do.