....

[DddDatguy]

....

[stickboymusic]

I think this works perfectly well with the auto tune for this type of music.

 

If want an opinion on your actual voice then we'd need to hear it without auto tune.

 

Of course if you are going for the auto tune vibe then it works fine

[DddDatguy]

I think this works perfectly well with the auto tune for this type of music.

 

 

 

If want an opinion on your actual voice then we'd need to hear it without auto tune.

 

 

 

Of course if you are going for the auto tune vibe then it works fine

 

 

 

Thank you. Kinda leaves me puzzled though, because the guy didn't comment on the songwriting, only on my vocals, and I don't really know how to improve because no one tells me what I need to improve on, and right now I can't afford lessons.

 

 

 

What'd you think of the writing?

[bee3]

Hi DddDatguy... welcome to the forum.

 

A few thoughts from me.

 

• I thought the music and instrumentation was cool... the chorus is very catchy
  
• I'm not sure about some of the lyrics (which by the way you should post in the thread)... it starts off with a really shallow sentiment... you want to bed the girl. But then you say you want to get to know her better... then later say that if she's lonely and needs a friend, you're not that guy. It has me confused... I think you need to pick one direction and stick with it
  
• The autotune and overcompression left me feeling a bit dizzy (I'm not a fan of either though I do get that is par for the course with this type of music).
  

You seem to have a knack for melody. Can't comment on the vocals really because of the autotune (as Stick said above).

[DddDatguy]

Hi DddDatguy... welcome to the forum.

 

 

 

A few thoughts from me.

• I thought the music and instrumentation was cool... the chorus is very catchy
  
• I'm not sure about some of the lyrics (which by the way you should post in the thread)... it starts off with a really shallow sentiment... you want to bed the girl. But then you say you want to get to know her better... then later say that if she's lonely and needs a friend, you're not that guy. It has me confused... I think you need to pick one direction and stick with it
  
• The autotune and overcompression left me feeling a bit dizzy (I'm not a fan of either though I do get that is par for the course with this type of music).
  

You seem to have a knack for melody. Can't comment on the vocals really because of the autotune (as Stick said above).

 

 

 

Thank you for the input. next time I'll make sure to post the lyrics in the OP.

 

I think I'll have to agree with you on the lyrics, I'll go ahead and revise them.

 

I appreciate it!

 

aside from the actual pitch of the vocals, do you have any thoughts on the delivery and "phrasing" or however you would say it? I feel like that Is something I may struggle with.

[LCK]

Yeah, I think the song has a lot of potential. I'd like to see the lyric...

[DddDatguy]

Yeah' date=' I think the song has a lot of potential. I'd like to see the lyric...[/quote']

 

 

 

Thanks man!

 

 

 

Here you go

 

 

 

We look good together

 

But we'd look better in my bed

 

 

Wish I knew you better

 

 

Do you think we should be friends?

 

 

 

 

 

And then you asked me who I am

 

 

And I said I could be anyone

 

 

I'll be whoever you want and

 

 

You'll be my baby

 

 

 

 

 

Baby don't be a stranger, no

 

 

Nothing wrong with a girl in love

 

 

Would you follow me?

 

 

Before I met you, I never could, I never would

 

 

Baby don't be a stranger, no

 

 

Nothing wrong with a girl in love

 

 

 

 

 

Tell me what your name is

 

 

Or would that take away the mystery?

 

 

'Cos we're all nobody

 

 

We're nobodies in this city

 

 

 

 

 

And then you asked if you knew me

 

 

And I said "do we really know anyone?"

 

 

I'll be who you want me to be

 

 

You'll be my baby

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baby don't be a stranger, no

 

 

Nothing wrong with a girl in love

 

 

Would you follow me?

 

 

Before I met you, I never could, I never would

 

 

Baby don't be a stranger, no

 

 

Nothing wrong with a girl in love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you get lonely and you need a friend

 

 

I'm not that guy, but I guess I could pretend

 

 

And if I ever got to know you

 

 

I'd give it in and fall in love with you

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baby don't be a stranger, no

 

 

Nothing wrong with a girl in love

 

 

Would you follow me?

 

 

Before I met you, I never could, I never would

 

 

Baby don't be a stranger, no

 

 

Nothing wrong with a girl in love

 

 

 

 

 

[Lane1777]

crap! that's good stuff! I don`t know what kind of confidence you have in your voice, but what little bit I could

pick up on...I think your cheating yourself. you really don`t need the a t unless that's the effect you want. in some places it seemed to distort some, but that might be the junk headset I have on...lol anyway good work [just my thought]

[DddDatguy]

crap! that's good stuff! I don`t know what kind of confidence you have in your voice, but what little bit I could

 

pick up on...I think your cheating yourself. you really don`t need the a t unless that's the effect you want. in some places it seemed to distort some, but that might be the junk headset I have on...lol anyway good work [just my thought]

 

 

 

Wow thank you, I really appreciate it. I think you're completely right about the AT

[mbfrancis]

Typed up a whole response last night then accidentally hit "back"...damn. Super fast:

 

* Very cool stuff, great tune. Catchy.

* Your voice if fine but I'd like to hear with a slower response on the Autotune - i.e. fix the pitch, but make it sound natural. You sound like the guy in Camouflage (old German techno pop group). Actually you sound very German to me, it gives it a cool icy Euro vibe..

* Your voice may be fine, but not enough to carry the song. It needs harmonies, double tracking, etc. The vocal by itself gets boring.

* The lyrics need some love, it feels like you're just stringing phrases together. E.g., "Before I met you, I never could, I never would"...you "never could"...what? As B3 says, it's not clear what you're trying to say - figure that out and stick to it.

* "Don't be a stranger" is a super cliche, common idiom, that means "hey I hope I see you sooner than it's been since the last time I saw you." *Don't* use that meaning. Use the literal meaning - i.e. "don't suddenly act like someone I don't know, someone different, don;t change from the person I used to know." Use *that* as the song, and have all the lines communicate *that*.

 

Good stuff - Hope this helps.

[DddDatguy]

Typed up a whole response last night then accidentally hit "back"...damn. Super fast:

 

 

 

* Very cool stuff, great tune. Catchy.

 

* Your voice if fine but I'd like to hear with a slower response on the Autotune - i.e. fix the pitch, but make it sound natural. You sound like the guy in Camouflage (old German techno pop group). Actually you sound very German to me, it gives it a cool icy Euro vibe..

 

* Your voice may be fine, but not enough to carry the song. It needs harmonies, double tracking, etc. The vocal by itself gets boring.

 

* The lyrics need some love, it feels like you're just stringing phrases together. E.g., "Before I met you, I never could, I never would"...you "never could"...what? As B3 says, it's not clear what you're trying to say - figure that out and stick to it.

 

* "Don't be a stranger" is a super cliche, common idiom, that means "hey I hope I see you sooner than it's been since the last time I saw you." *Don't* use that meaning. Use the literal meaning - i.e. "don't suddenly act like someone I don't know, someone different, don;t change from the person I used to know." Use *that* as the song, and have all the lines communicate *that*.

 

 

 

Good stuff - Hope this helps.

 

 

 

Oh yeah, I know what the phrase means, but I was trying to kind give it a twist, but I guess I didn't really pull it off. I'll look closer at it. Thanks

 

 

 

funny you thought I sounded German, I actually took German in high school

[tbry]

Your voice is fine for making demos of your songs...nothing wrong with that...if you want to be a performer then as someone said some more harmony background singer help would make it less focused on the power of just your vocal...it stands out more than the music but not in a great way. Blend it in with other voices.

[mbfrancis]

Oh yeah' date=' I know what the phrase means, but I was trying to kind give it a twist, but I guess I didn't really pull it off. I'll look closer at it. Thanks[/quote']

 

No, I think it will totally work with a twist, you just have to make it clearer. Make the song about how he/she's a stranger, you how don't even know her/him anymore.

[rsadasiv]

Track sounds good. +1 on the lyric comments - certainly could be stronger, but you don't necessarily need a great lyric to make the song work in this genre.

 

Re: vocals (and AT). Are the vocals the weakest part of the song? Yes, but this is a strong song already, and there is certainly enough there in the vocals to try and improve. As mbfrancis says, the approach to the vocal track could use some TLC. Add 8 more tracks to the project, link them to a dedicated submix, and think about how you would fill that space with your voice. As stickboy said, there is nothing wrong with using AT in this genre, but I think you need to be more subtle/varied in the way that you apply the AT. Listen to the way that Maroon 5 use AT on "Moves Like Jagger" - there is a lot of AT on the vocal tracks overall, but only in the chorus does it become "AT as effect".

[DddDatguy]

 

 

 

No, I think it will totally work with a twist, you just have to make it clearer. Make the song about how he/she's a stranger, you how don't even know her/him anymore.

 

 

I'll keep trying I'll definitely change the bridge though. I Think I'm gonna change "be my baby" in the pre chorus to "just don't forget me", I think it sets the chorus up better

[DddDatguy]

Track sounds good. +1 on the lyric comments - certainly could be stronger, but you don't necessarily need a great lyric to make the song work in this genre.

 

 

 

Re: vocals (and AT). Are the vocals the weakest part of the song? Yes, but this is a strong song already, and there is certainly enough there in the vocals to try and improve. As mbfrancis says, the approach to the vocal track could use some TLC. Add 8 more tracks to the project, link them to a dedicated submix, and think about how you would fill that space with your voice. As stickboy said, there is nothing wrong with using AT in this genre, but I think you need to be more subtle/varied in the way that you apply the AT. Listen to the way that Maroon 5 use AT on "Moves Like Jagger" - there is a lot of AT on the vocal tracks overall, but only in the chorus does it become "AT as effect".

 

 

 

Thanks, I'll go back and work on it

[LCK]

Yeah, I like the idea of this. I just think it needs to be sharpened and polished a little, lyrically. I didn't see any contradictions in what the guy is saying. I just don't think you've nailed the attitude.