my first song posted

[gadflyer]

Picture Me.

 

 

 

 

Picture this

in a photograph;

placed in an antique frame

you bought years ago.

Every intention

to put in

some membrance of me,

and the things I couldn't show.

Picture me

with an easy smile.

If it's all the same

I rather you didn't know

 

 

that when you walked out on me

it made me realize.

I gotta get my {censored} together

but I'm still telling lies.

Trying to make up for

all I never had.

So if you have a moment

just try to picture

 

 

that.

I'm on a sunset beach

with a smile on my face;

as the tides roll in.

Margarita

in my hand.

As I sit on top of

my costly benz.

Picture me

in love again.

Trying not to let

all those things happen.

 

 

The direction that I'm going

well I'm not to proud of it.

The feelings that I'm faking

help me not to admit,

that I am dead without you.

I don't wanna be

the one to dissapoint you

so try to picture

 

me;

being happy.

Cause I found a way to

make things work out for me.

But the truth is;

I don't care much anymore

about all the goals I made before.

 

The direction that I'm going

well I'm not to proud of it.

The feelings that I'm faking

help me not to admit,

that I am dead without you.

I don't wanna be

the one to dissapoint you

so try to picture me.

-----------------copyright 2001-------------------------

----------------all right reserved-----------------------

 

This was meant to simple yet w/ a lot of imagery.

[misanthropy]

alrite, i'll give it a shot. one thing - i don't see any specific rhyming pattern uniform throughout the whole song, which is fine (outside the box and whatnot) but it's hard to imagine a beat or melody with it, you know ? so it's hard to imagine exactly what you would have going on behind it.

 

i'm not a big love song fan, but i like how you focused in on the picture theme and let the song revolve around it. i can't give a whole lot of suggestion for improvement except maybe take out the part about the "costly benz" - it seems a little out of place to me. also, maybe drag in some specifics to give the song more credibility. "the things i couldn't show"... "i'm still telling lies" ... "trying not to let all those things happen" - say what it was you couldn't show, what lies you're telling, etc.

 

just a thought. good song, in my opinion.