Members loser81 Posted July 1, 2002 Members Share Posted July 1, 2002 This is my first attempt at writing lyrics for a song. For the most part I just write guitar instrumentals. I know it sucks but... i'd like suggestions and comments. So let me know what you think. Bleeding Silhouette Did you see his tearsas you walked on byFeel all he hides insidethe forgotten injuries Some wounds never healFrom those who give the painThe victims always the first to blameFor his lack of strength He can't see thatthere weak tooLooking at life from a different viewWhere hes to blame You ignored his criesand watched him fallJust so you might feel wholeYou tore him down All the haughty onesDestroy the meekSuck the pleasure from the weakIt never ends Look now at the imageof a Bleeding SilhouetteDo you feel regretNow that you see his pain All the time he was laughingjust to hide the tearsSmiling to repress his fearOf another day Bitterness is all he now feels insideHatred for those who stole his prideA different man A bleeding silhouetteno longer hides his painNow he is gone todayGone today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kingnome Posted July 1, 2002 Members Share Posted July 1, 2002 Whoa---- All them words, and not a single positive line !! I have to go listen to some positive 60's Pop. You guys are gonna drive me to harm myself ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TheSandwich Posted July 1, 2002 Members Share Posted July 1, 2002 I thought those lyrics were actually pretty decent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kingnome Posted July 1, 2002 Members Share Posted July 1, 2002 I read them three times now, and yeah, they're not bad, but so many of these lyric posts are really negative, depressing, hopeless, etc. that I guess I'm hoping for something a little lighter. I'm not against break-up songs, but lately the trend seems to be to bring the listener into a desperate, lonely, suicidal state of mind. Maybe it's me, but from a songwriting point of view, I think they're a little too depressing. Maybe this is why the music is so important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 6tring Posted July 3, 2002 Members Share Posted July 3, 2002 I tend to look for the rhyme.....I am not seeing the conventional type here. You are rhyming the 2nd and 3rd lines What is the tempo, I would be interested in hearing a copy of the tune to get a better understanding. It's hard to get a feel for it with out music don't you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JackSonic Posted July 4, 2002 Members Share Posted July 4, 2002 way dark, but well done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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