Chapter 8: Stripping your repetition for repainting

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The book is: "Writing Better Lyrics" by Pat Pattison

 

BTW there are 19 Chapters...

 

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Chapter 8

 

Pat has explainde and shown in previous chapters that

verse development is very important and that a song's

verses will add color to the chorus. As each verse says

something different the chorus is heard in a different

light each time.

 

In this chapter Pat explains that sometimes choruses

resist "coloring." He provides some insight into making

your choruses "neutral" so that they can work with

the various verses.

 

Pat say that you can neutralize a chorus by neutralizing

it's tense and point of view.

 

Controlling verbs is the key to controlling tense.

 

Pat says that using the "ing" form of the verb, using the

"to" form of the verb or omiting the verb altogether will

work.

 

He uses this example:

 

He lost the human race (past)

 

He loses the human race (present)

 

He'll lose the human race (future)

 

Neutralized:

 

Losing the human race

 

or

 

To lose the human race

 

Pat provides a lyric example that illustrates how the

neutral form of the chorus works better with a wide

array of verse tenses and points of view.

 

Pat then goes through a similar exercise using point of view.

 

I lose the human race (1st person)

 

You lose the human race (2nd person)

 

She loses the human race (3rd person)

 

Neutralized:

 

Losing the human race

 

or

 

To lose the human race

 

Pat uses Paul Simon's "Still Crazy After All These Years"

as an example of a neutral refrain that works with 3

verses with different points of view.

 

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Exercise: Write a neutral chorus

 

If you can't come up with one of your own then neutralize

this:

 

I search for the good stuff

I hope I can find enough

I'm ready for love

[Fourth Floor]

You could argue that including the verb keeps your lyric direct and immediate, rather than vague and generalised.

 

Why exactly does Pat want to neutralise lyrics like this? So they work with verses? So your chorus should be neutral and your verses develop?

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4th,

 

What Pat illustrates in the book is that the verse

"colors" the chorus. Each verse, assuming there is

movement from verse to verse, makes the listener

perceive the chorus in a slightly different way.

Pat shows through example that neutralizing

the chorus/refrain will allow it to work with the

verse even if the verse changes tense or POV.

This allows more freedom of movement in the verse

for the writer.

 

Here's an example Pat uses in the book...

 

Exploding from the starting blocks

Again he set the pace

Though he was crowned by laurel wreaths

As thousands cheered he came to grief

He lost the human race

 

It's hard to see through miles ahead

To shoulders bent by age

With crowds of whispers drawing tight

He'll tilt his head one final night

He lost the human race

work! It doesn't match the previous line.

 

Pat changes the refrain in the second verse to:

He'll lose the human race

And then he explains that changing the chorus/refrain

should be avoided in most situations.

 

Now try the above verses with this neutralized

chorus:

 

Losing the human race

 

It works and even adds to the effect of the lyric.