new lyrics- bigtimes

[bulldawgu812]

yea this is a song i just wrote in about 10 minutes, i plan on revising it soon, but i got to get up and play guitar at my church so i need sleep... well this is about the musicians i looked up to that inspired me to play guitar, and how their lives went down when they tried to go big. its still really rough, but tell me if you like the overall idea of it. or if you want to piss on it tell me.

 

Mr. Hollywood

I thought was gonna be my name

With all the glory and fame

Mr. Bigtime

With no work or care

Finding shortly after nothing was fare

 

Now I

[devilboy]

The idea is pretty cool, but just reading it, the running away stuff seems like overkill. Maybe there's a good hook to it though; it's so hard to tell w/out hearing.

[WattsUrizen]

You say you wrote it in ten minutes. It seems like it. It's dull, superficial, and annoying.

 

And you need to explain further where you are running to. Are you running to stardom? Or away from it? Why are you running? Look at the deeper emotional issues here. Greed, lust, ignorance. Or perhaps alienation, disillusionment, apathy.

[RiffKing24]

Trent, dude you got a good idea. But it needs some tuning. You might want to add a few other words or reaarange how you say stuff so it flows easier. i sung it several times to myself it could work. Hey bring it to church and I will show you a few ideas to fix it up. Oh and anomandaris? when your running from all you know you won't know where your running too.

 

Jeff the Kazoo.

[WattsUrizen]

Thats sometimes true Jeff, but in this case it needs to be specified. Otherwise the song loses meaning. We don't need a place with physical prescence to be WHERE we are running to, but we do need the WHY.