friends song

[bulldawgu812]

hey this is my friends song, his computer is jacked up so he wanted me to put it on here to see what yall think. here it is.

 

You left me, my lifes never been the same

My life feels like its gone up in flames

yoU were the one, one for me

Now I dont know what to do

 

How can I live without you

 

 

 

When I hear your name I run away

I still think about you every nite and day

I see you wit him I dont kno what to say

My friends say everythings gonna be ok

 

but they dont understand how I feel

I wish my this life im livin isnt real

I wish i was the man that was in your dreams

but im just a guy to you that it seems

 

you dont even look at me ne more

you were the one that i lived for

now that I dont have you what am i gonna do

I fell in love wit you

 

I see you with your friends

havin a good time

I wish i my life would end

I get chills up my spine

people say everything gonna b fine

 

 

but they dont understand how i feel

I think Im goin crazy, how can this be

livin life without the girl of my dreams

Im addicted to your love

 

 

I cant live without you, please dont leave

I cant believe that I lost you

What am I going to do

I cant go on living my life without you

 

I thought god sent you for me

but now all i see , if my life goin downhill

What do you want me to fulfill?Your dreams?Your fantasies

You tell me because Id do anything for you girl,

I would die for you, take all the pain in your life

 

but you dont want anythign to do with me

you just used me like a tree

cut me down, and shipped me off

why do you put me through this misery?

 

Im losin control

everything in my mind has gone dull

I live like a blind man , lost and confused

trying to find my way back to you

[Six String Stuntman Steve]

Originally posted by bulldawgu812 trying to find my way back to you

I think this is the most beautiful line in the song....just MHO.

 

-Nigel

[Six String Stuntman Steve]

I dunno...it comes across to me as a rap song....and the picture I get is a guy with baggy jeans looking real angst-ridden and ready to kill this girl's new lover.

 

I think chopping out some of the examples (especially "use me like a tree") would make it less......err....childish??

 

Sorry.

-Nigel

[WattsUrizen]

 

Originally posted by bulldawgu812 you just used me like a tree cut me down, and shipped me off

 

 

This line is, well, laughable at best. Granted, it's original. But silly.

 

There's too much storytelling. He's very plain in his explanation of his emotion. It needs to be more poetic and metaphoric.