Members Yeah Posted July 30, 2002 Members Share Posted July 30, 2002 After ages of not being able to write a thing I just wrote a song (lyrics only, although I have a pretty good idea of how the music will go...) Anyway, here it is in all it's copyrighted glory 360 degrees of seperation below zero and I'm stuck out in the warm, The lost and found is full of midget's hands and feet and I can't find my point of view which is changing... subject to subjetivity which is changing.. my objective objectivity My mind is full of nothing somethingness... I will hold the floor down while you go and find a park, and the cat once said "you are going to die" while I looked on through my wrong eye, and this is changing... me for the worse and this is changing... me Forget about me.. (forget about me) forget about me.. (forget about me) Forget about me.. (forget about me) forget about me.. (forget about me) Forget about me... Forget about me (forget about me) forget about me (forget about me) I am nothing somethingness... So forget about me.. Because you have moved on... So forget about me.. 'Cause I already have... What do you think? It started out stream of consciousness but I think it ended up having abit of a theme... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members index Posted July 30, 2002 Members Share Posted July 30, 2002 In general, I like it. However, I don't like this line: The lost and found is full of midget's hands and feet That seems a little contrived. Like you are trying too hard to be wierd. On the other hand, I like this: subject to subjetivity... my objective objectivity... I like when you can bend meanings with clever phrases like that, but forcing it (like with the midget line) doesn't work as well. I hope that helps. ____________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yeah Posted July 31, 2002 Author Members Share Posted July 31, 2002 Originally posted by index In general, I like it. However, I don't like this line:The lost and found is full of midget's hands and feet That seems a little contrived. Like you are trying too hard to be wierd. On the other hand, I like this:subject to subjetivity... my objective objectivity...I like when you can bend meanings with clever phrases like that, but forcing it (like with the midget line) doesn't work as well.I hope that helps.____________________ The line the lost and founds is full of midget's hands and feet is a couple of years old now and I just wanted to use it (kinda for the weird value and kinda for the way it doesn't fit the ryhtmn well). It's not meant to be contrived.Thanks for the compliments on the subjectivity/objectivity lines... I have a few questions for you;What did you think of the repetion (and call and response) of the "forget about me" bit? Was it too long?And, what did you think of the last line? Did you find it abit mellowdramatic/cliched?Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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