Members bulldawgu812 Posted August 16, 2002 Members Share Posted August 16, 2002 here is a song i started... its definatly not finished, its needs another verse or two, but tell me if you like the idea of it. You push and pushBut you don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Deryck Posted August 16, 2002 Members Share Posted August 16, 2002 I like it, although it doesn't seem like a musical revolution. It's okay...don't know if you take this positive or negative... As I always say: The right music can make it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members seamless Posted August 16, 2002 Members Share Posted August 16, 2002 I like it. You use a lot of violent imagery (pushing, choking, etc), which leaves you a lot of room to use some pretty poweful metaphors if you so choose. The line "But you don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rpgwh Posted August 16, 2002 Members Share Posted August 16, 2002 Life aint fair!!Life aint fair!! aren't we tired of people whining about themselves don't we have enough bands writing the same lyrics. if i remember Papa Crap had the same type of line in their new song...which sucked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bulldawgu812 Posted August 16, 2002 Author Members Share Posted August 16, 2002 arent we tired of little pansy throwin tree huggers, that always think songs have to be happy to be good. there are 2 sides to life, bad and good, and people should sing about both. not whining, but expressing feelings at a moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bulldawgu812 Posted August 16, 2002 Author Members Share Posted August 16, 2002 now if u want to get into a big debate about it, go ahead... but im not gonna mess with people like yall, that got one way of writing music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ClusterOne Posted August 17, 2002 Members Share Posted August 17, 2002 when you ask people for their opinions, don't be so shocked when they given them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Hard Rocker Posted August 17, 2002 Members Share Posted August 17, 2002 Dude that's some pretty decent lyrics you've got there.I can see that it does need a little work in some areas but on the whole I give it a thumbs up.I also like the way you've used more violent terms to get your point across. If you don't mind could you guys please check out these lyrics I've been working on: http://acapella.harmony-central.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=96221 Cheers;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bulldawgu812 Posted August 17, 2002 Author Members Share Posted August 17, 2002 there's a difference between giving opinions with constructive criticism and just putting down the music. the only way any of us are gonna grow as writers is by constructive criticism, it wil only hurt when someone puts down the music you write. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thelonius74 Posted August 17, 2002 Members Share Posted August 17, 2002 Originally posted by bulldawgu812 arent we tired of little pansy throwin tree huggers, that always think songs have to be happy to be good. there are 2 sides to life, bad and good, and people should sing about both. not whining, but expressing feelings at a moment. The fact of the matter is you've said something, that a million people have said before....and that's fine, that's what songwriting is about..but you need a new way of saying it. There is a song on the radio right now that doesn't just express the same sentiment, it uses the same verbage. Not the whole song..just that one line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sam Therapy Posted August 17, 2002 Members Share Posted August 17, 2002 Originally posted by bulldawgu812 arent we tired of little pansy throwin tree huggers, that always think songs have to be happy to be good. there are 2 sides to life, bad and good, and people should sing about both. not whining, but expressing feelings at a moment. Can't argue with that. It's what I've been expressing for years. As for your lyrics - IMO they need more focus and less generalisations to make them as powerful as you need them to be. Not that they're bad - just not quite there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mcflytrap Posted August 17, 2002 Members Share Posted August 17, 2002 Bulldawg, you are correct in being upset. There is a way to constructively criticize w/out being downright insulting. I think the lyrics are good, and they flow very well. The only thing I would suggest is try to be more specific like Sam said. Also, some of the rhymes seem a bit forced. A lot of times it's not the writers fault, but cannot be helped because some words are just hard to rhyme. May want to try alternate phrases. Move some sentences around...change the structure. Other than that, I think you are lyrically talented. Keep it up! -mcfly- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rpgwh Posted August 17, 2002 Members Share Posted August 17, 2002 do we need another Staind clone here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WattsUrizen Posted August 18, 2002 Members Share Posted August 18, 2002 I agree with Sam that they are too generalised. You may feel that this helps more people to relate to the song, but I feel as if it just becomes too vague. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bulldawgu812 Posted August 18, 2002 Author Members Share Posted August 18, 2002 thanks for the help guys, ya it is really really vague... i will work on that asap. thanks a lot, my writing has grown a lot in the last few months because of a lot of you people. thanks god bless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mike_Hawk Posted August 21, 2002 Members Share Posted August 21, 2002 mcfly only liked it because you two are little church goers.... it wasn't bad - but it wasn't great either. Being alittle more specific and also not so repetitive would help. Also remember that you can't make everyone happy. I'll hate you because you label your self as a christian song writer and because you said god bless. So....you need to take everything with a grain of salt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mcflytrap Posted August 22, 2002 Members Share Posted August 22, 2002 Originally posted by Mike_Hawk I'll hate you because you label your self as a christian song writer and because you said god bless. Sounds like a bit of hate-mongering if you ask me. Lighten up man....or you'll get yourself banned easily. -mcfly- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bulldawgu812 Posted August 22, 2002 Author Members Share Posted August 22, 2002 so you hate me because im a christian? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mike_Hawk Posted August 22, 2002 Members Share Posted August 22, 2002 Why would I get banned? Least I'm open about my views. Bulldawg- nah I won't hate ya. I don't even know ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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