New Song from Wrong Way (that's me)

[error]

OK. Here is my first song post. Just me and the strat. Please let me know what y'all think.

 

http://www.orangecopy.com/wrong_way_link.mp3

 

I got the lyrics handy too, if you want em.

 

-error

[stratz]

Hmm Gotta love just the guitar and Vocals. I really dig this song it's pretty cool. I think the song would be cooler if the guitar was dist. on the chorus to add some contrast enstead of the Flanger (well sounds like a flanger) going the whole song. Or maybe going clean for the chorus

[mrtasty]

In a nutshell, I think the song has a lot of potential. I got a little tired of the flanger and the delay after about 10 seconds in, but that's an easy fix. I'm sure the final arrangement would be way more in depth.

 

The lyrics and overall "feel" sounded good, I got a very Pink Floyd-ish vibe from it, including your voice. I think that if you're shooting for a commercial sound, it's definitely on the right track. The melody was good, and the hook was definitely better than most I hear on this message board (no offense everyone). The pre-chorus was great, I thought it was the chorus, just due to the strength of the melody. The chorus definitely had a good hook, centered around basic I-IV-V-vi chords. In my opinion, you don't wanna stray too far from that in commercial music for the chorus. Keep it simple, and give the audience something to sing along with. That's what we all want most of the time, anyways.

 

Now, the song in my opinion runs way too long. I really didn't like the extended ending, it did nothing for the motion and the energy but slow it down, and make me think "I thought I just heard the end, what the hell is this?" It also needs a bridge - a good, solid, change of key and texture. I felt like the verses and the choruses were fine being similar enough, but you lost me without that bridge. Also, try to vary your guitar parts up a little. All of the accents you had (that were matched) between your guitar and the vocals made it groove less to me, rather than more. I prefer an interplay between the two. I know the drums will make a difference, but it still sounds stagnent after hearing the same accents over and over again. Also, try doing different things in different registers and different areas of the guitar for corresponding sections. I'm trying to do more of this now, and I'm finding it really helps lead the listener from section to section.

 

If you'd like, here's my band's unmixed demo. Give it a listen and see what you think of it. http://www.mp3.com/joshgoodeband . Maybe you'll dig it, maybe not. Overall, I think you're on your way to a really good, powerful song, and I think your writing has alot of potential. Good luck, and I look forward to hearing more of your material!

 

Thanks,

 

- J

[error]

Thanks for the feedback. I don't post much, and I rarely share my songs with other people (beyond my basement). I agree with you -- the extended ending does nothing for the music -- consider it gone. And I think I'll spend more time changing-up the guitar during the versus. Unfortunately, I'm no guitar master. I think this song would really come alive with some more people jamming -- bass and drums specifically. Regarding flanger, the original recording didn't have any. I added it digitally after the recording--guess it's not so great.

 

Thanx for the listen. I'll keep working. And I'll go check out your music. By the way, if you really want to hear more, I've got a whole pile of songs at my personal site, http://www.advizible.com/band.html