Members Hard Rocker Posted August 17, 2002 Members Share Posted August 17, 2002 Hey guys, I wrote this song a few months ago and I'm interested in finding out what people think of it. I don't mind getting your honest opinions but please keep in mind that I was only 14 at the time. Sparrow By Jimmy Rose Oh, dear sparrow your song spreads your cheerHow simple your life it seemsWith wind 'neath your wings and a smile in your heartNo burdens toward you could one mean All of your problems are but a leaf in the windDrifting away with the breezeBut if your troubles grow near you can spread your wingsAnd fly away as you please Oh, dear sparrow I have a secret to tellI can trust you, of that I am sureYou see there's this girl so pretty and sweetSmitten by her I'm for sure Her hair is so soft, her eyes are so dreamyHer smile could light up the skyThe things that she says and the moves that she makesSo beautiful I think I could cry Oh, dear sparrow please do not tellThis is just between you and meNow spread your wings out wide and flyFly and be free Thank you for listeningYou're very sweet I must sayTil another day we meetI bid you farewell and good day Cheers, Hard Rocker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Creeping Death Posted August 17, 2002 Members Share Posted August 17, 2002 whoa dude!not too shabby at all. I can't believe you were only 14 when you wrote that.It's so original and from you heart.I can tell just by reading this that you really like/liked this girl. Great stuff! Creeps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Fairy King Posted August 17, 2002 Members Share Posted August 17, 2002 What a load of crap! Those lyrics are completely stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bulldawgu812 Posted August 18, 2002 Members Share Posted August 18, 2002 hey fairy king, lets see some of your lyrics... and ummmm, just the name fairy king is quite flaming, so i wouldnt insult other writings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bulldawgu812 Posted August 18, 2002 Members Share Posted August 18, 2002 by the way, i love your lyrics.... awesome stuff. so your a young writer too? i am 15, so its cool to see some more young guys sharin their music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WattsUrizen Posted August 18, 2002 Members Share Posted August 18, 2002 Those are quite beautiful. There's something very poignant about confiding something very personal to a sparrow. Loneliness perhaps? Or maybe yearning? I can't quite put my finger on it, but it truly makes your song what it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members eagle1 Posted August 18, 2002 Members Share Posted August 18, 2002 If you were only fourteen, damn!!!It is pretty good. And like Anomandaris, I can't quite grasp what you're feeling (or felt that time). Have you given any music to it yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flavor_of_the_weak Posted August 21, 2002 Members Share Posted August 21, 2002 They are ok lyrics in your song:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Modofoca Posted August 21, 2002 Members Share Posted August 21, 2002 Originally posted by Hard Rocker Her hair is so soft, her eyes are so dreamyHer smile could light up the skyThe things that she says and the moves that she makesSo beautiful I think I could cry The whole lyric it's ok, keeping in mind that you were only fourteen. Maybe the part I marked above is too obvious, but the lyric is so good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cool_E Posted August 21, 2002 Members Share Posted August 21, 2002 ???? Hard Rocker? I can't imagine that lyric with a hard rock or metal band behind. Of course, you can't understand what those guys are singing anyway so this might be just right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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