Members billsworld Posted February 5, 2004 Members Share Posted February 5, 2004 I can't really decide if I like this one or not, so I put it to all of you to let me know what you think. Do It All Over Again It Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members billsworld Posted February 5, 2004 Author Members Share Posted February 5, 2004 Bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members olddan Posted February 6, 2004 Members Share Posted February 6, 2004 Well I like it. It's a tad wordy in places. For instance the prechorus seemed unnecessary. And the second verse seemed to drift a bit. But overall it's very strong. I especially like the chorus. And the last verse finishs it off nicely. :thumbs up: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Raptor5618 Posted February 6, 2004 Members Share Posted February 6, 2004 I like the content. I think it has some intersting views and idea. However, I think there are parts of this where the flow just is not there and I think that to sing much of this would be a real nightmare. I think that you have to pay some attention to meter. Keep your thoughts but work on condensing them into simple thoughts and move away from what seems more like prose than poetry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members billsworld Posted February 7, 2004 Author Members Share Posted February 7, 2004 Thanks for the comments. You're certainly not the first to apply the tag "wordy" to my writing, however this is the first time I've just been called a "tad wordy"...isn't that kind of like being a little bit pregnant? As to specific comments, I find both of your takes interesting because, for example, I had been concerned that the chorus was just okay, and I thought the third verse was a little weak. And strangely, what became the second verse was the bit that got me started on the whole song. As for the pre-chorus, musically it needs that bit because the verses and first part of the chorus are all built on the same chord structure, while the pre-chorus and the end of the chorus are tied together harmonically. So from that standpoint, I felt the song needed that bit to introduce the new material, and to stand up and say, "here's a different bit." The words tend to fly by in a rapid fire style kind of similar to early Springsteen, ala Rosalita, where the rhythm of the lyrics follows a fairly fast paced conversational style. I'm going to look into finding a place to post mp3's, so everyone can actually hear what's going on musically, but as of now I haven't gotten that set up yet. Until then, thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bossa Posted February 10, 2004 Members Share Posted February 10, 2004 It's bad. Full of worn cliches. Sorry, but it does. Well, lots of big-selling songs do, I suppose. I hope you've got a good melody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members olddan Posted February 11, 2004 Members Share Posted February 11, 2004 Originally posted by billsworld Thanks for the comments. You're certainly not the first to apply the tag "wordy" to my writing, however this is the first time I've just been called a "tad wordy"...isn't that kind of like being a little bit pregnant? I don't know, I've never been pregnant. I have been a tad wordy tho. Originally posted by billsworld As to specific comments, I find both of your takes interesting because, for example, I had been concerned that the chorus was just okay, and I thought the third verse was a little weak. And strangely, what became the second verse was the bit that got me started on the whole song. As for the pre-chorus, musically it needs that bit because the verses and first part of the chorus are all built on the same chord structure, while the pre-chorus and the end of the chorus are tied together harmonically. So from that standpoint, I felt the song needed that bit to introduce the new material, and to stand up and say, "here's a different bit." The words tend to fly by in a rapid fire style kind of similar to early Springsteen, ala Rosalita, where the rhythm of the lyrics follows a fairly fast paced conversational style. I'm going to look into finding a place to post mp3's, so everyone can actually hear what's going on musically, but as of now I haven't gotten that set up yet. Until then, thanks again. I understand about the music requiring certain lyrical structures. In the final analysis songs are intended to be listened to so the music is more important. I found it interesting also the second verse as what started it all. Many times I've written songs and never kept the original lines. go figure. I know you didn't ask but I would suggest soundclick (http://www.soundclick.com) as a good place to put your mp3's. There are tons of sites like it but for me soundclick was the easiest. However and wherever you post your songs I know I would like to hear them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members billsworld Posted February 12, 2004 Author Members Share Posted February 12, 2004 Funny you should mention Soundclick...that's where I was thinking about posting my stuff, and as it turns out, that's where I just last night started setting up a site. For anyone who would be interested in listening to some of my stuff, the address is: http://www.soundclick.com/billheeter Let me know what ya think, good or bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members olddan Posted February 13, 2004 Members Share Posted February 13, 2004 Originally posted by billsworld Funny you should mention Soundclick...that's where I was thinking about posting my stuff, and as it turns out, that's where I just last night started setting up a site. For anyone who would be interested in listening to some of my stuff, the address is: http://www.soundclick.com/billheeter Let me know what ya think, good or bad I like. Powerful vocals and some very nice guitar. To be truthfull, not what I expected but a pleasant surprise. I liked all of them, Unkept Words is probably my favorite. And I liked Doesn't Ease My Mind except for your (now famous) wordiness. Cut out the excess and that would be an excellent tune also. btw, loved your answer to "Would you still sign a record contract with a major label?". Reminded me of my answer: "I would sign with a major label in a heartbeat. But I don't think record companies are looking for old fat guys that can't sing." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members billsworld Posted February 14, 2004 Author Members Share Posted February 14, 2004 Originally posted by olddan I like. Powerful vocals and some very nice guitar. To be truthfull, not what I expected but a pleasant surprise. I liked all of them, Unkept Words is probably my favorite. And I liked Doesn't Ease My Mind except for your (now famous) wordiness. Cut out the excess and that would be an excellent tune also. btw, loved your answer to "Would you still sign a record contract with a major label?". Reminded me of my answer: " I would sign with a major label in a heartbeat. But I don't think record companies are looking for old fat guys that can't sing." Well aww shucks... Thanks for listening. I listened to some of your stuff as well. I heard some really good ideas in there. I've always been kind of a sucker for bluesy stuff. Unfortunately, cutting out the excess verbage has never been something I'm good at at all. Of course, that song's still young, for one of mine. Who knows what it'll sound like when it grows up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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