8 lines

[brothertupelo]

sitting here

waiting for a song to appear

like an epic's opening prayer

or a russian roulette player

trying to catch thoughts from the stratosphere of the mind

weaving pictures and rhymes and all the time running blind

i wait on destiny

to open up her self for me

[ToxicBass]

Yes, there are 8 lines.

Anything else?

 

 

 

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=481684

[Chicken Monkey]

 

Originally posted by brothertupelo sitting here waiting for a song to appear i wait on destiny to open up her self for me

 

 

I would keep waiting, man.

 

Nobody wants to hear a song about how hard it is to write a song.

 

I hope I'm more helpful than Mr. Bass.

[Hugo H]

There's only been one of those I can think of (songs about how hard it is to write a song). That's Chicago's 25 or 6 to 4.

[ToxicBass]

Originally posted by Chicken Monkey I hope I'm more helpful than Mr. Bass.

 

Is it just me or does it aggravate anyone else when someone posts words or lyrics and doesn't even ask a question?

It's as if they're saying, "here, these are the words you've been waiting for all your life". No "what do you think" or I'm having trouble with the chorus".

 

 

 

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=481684

[Hugo H]

Okey dokey, I'll get serious a second and critique this.

 

Clearly, this single verse is about your attempt to create a song. The theme comes through although the details need a bit of improvement.

 

Yes, one can wait for a song or the beginning of an epic. But what about this russian roulette? Are we waiting for him/her to appear? (If so, why?) Or are we suddenly talking about the player trying to catch thoughts? (If so, what's that got to do with our waiting?) I think line 3 needs some work.

 

If I skip over that line and proceed, I see we're back on the track again. You have ideas flitting around but no grasp of the meanings - I refer to "running blind". That means you've got no framework, nothing to glue all these random thoughts together.

 

So now you finish up by waiting on fate to whack you up the side of the head and say "Hey dude, this is what it means".

 

Ok, makes some sense. But does it speak to anyone? Does it grab some interest?

 

Listening to a songwriter complain about the difficulty of songwriting is like listening to a plumber complain about fixing leaks. Like CM says, fundamentally uninteresting. If you're going to continue this you'll have to expand the theme to make people appreciate an attempt at a difficult task - basically, get global with the idea. Make people relate to it instead of listening to an artsy whine about it.

 

It can be done, I'm sure.

 

 

ps: Toxic, I know what you mean, but it's kinda common on some lyrics forums to do this kind of post.

[bluesway]

over readers anonymous, huh? it's a novel concept, man. you should develop it. i may be that one guy who would like to hear a song about writing a song.

 

ps. what is 25 or 6 to 4 an actual reference to? i never really knew.

[Hugo H]

It's literally about Lamm's attempt to write a song very late one night. The title's a reference to the time, very early in the morning about 3:34 or 3:35 AM.

As he says "Searching for something to say, Waiting for the break of day".

[Hugo H]

blues,

You know, you may not like in-depth analysis of a lyric, but then you apparently also don't like lyric discussions in general. If someone gave a complete critique of a harmonic progression would you throw an attitude about that, too? Would that be "over-listening"? Or would you happen to regard that as an attempt to help develop the music, rather than being unnecessary?

I gotta wonder.

-Hugo

[bluesway]

hugo,

 

lol. you got me wrong. my fault, though. i was more reactionary than contributive. i think i owe you a bit of clarification, if not an apology. (the irony is that i double-majored in the university - along with my music performance degree, i have the literature/writing concentration degree!)

 

i'm not saying that deep analysis of a written work is over-reading. i understand all the VARIED methods of literary analysis - i took those classes in school. (as did you, i'm sensing) i just feel like this guy's work didn't warrant the in-depth analysis just yet. hence, my "develop it" suggestion. analyzing this clearly incomplete piece of work - to use your plumber analogy - would be like that plumber only checking one part of the water system before the rest of the house was built. let him finish before we discuss framing and thematic embellishment, no?

 

being the teacher, i thought it would be a better idea to simply encourage than dissect at this point - especially in light of (.not yours, mind you) the aggressive and borderline belligerant responses that this poor guy got on only his 23rd post. it takes balls for many of us to put our work out there even in the anonymous light of a forum. (i know you respect that - that's precisely why you took the time and effort to give him the attention that he deserved with your analysis. i respect you for that.) but to hear that he lacked framework and to second-guess every word of his piece after those guys cut him up seemed - well - INADVERTENTLY contributive. that was the motivation behind my poorly-conceived comment.

 

ps - thanks for the 25 or 6 to 4 explanation

[Hugo H]

blues,

Gotcha - I understand your point now. BTW, I did engineering in college. The literary stuff's inherited and reinforced via relatives and a bit of self study. After a while things get to be second nature.

As far as 25 or 6 goes, I only found that out a few years ago myself (I'm 52). Happened to be talking to an a friend of his late one night around the same time. Talk about a need for clarity! Someday I'm going to make a list of good songs with meanings that escape me...

 

brothertupelo,

If you're still following along, take all our friendly, well-meaning advice as just that - words of encouragement and help. Any other comments are just the kind of stuff you'd hear your friends make over a beer.

[brothertupelo]

it's not a complaint. it's just a description of the period before writing a song when it starts to gel in your mind. sometimes you're waiting for inspiration from the gods, sometimes it's a tightrope walk on a windy day, and sometimes you just want to make love.

that's all.

[spiltmilk_2000]

 

Originally posted by brothertupelo sometimes you're waiting for inspiration from the gods, sometimes it's a tightrope walk on a windy day, and sometimes you just want to make love. that's all.

 

 

I like that tightrope on a windy day image... maybe theres a song in there somewhere!

Russ x

[Hugo H]

Originally posted by brothertupelo it's not a complaint. it's just a description of the period before writing a song when it starts to gel in your mind. sometimes you're waiting for inspiration from the gods, sometimes it's a tightrope walk on a windy day, and sometimes you just want to make love. that's all.

 

Then you've got some good ideas for followup verses to clarify the point of view (at least my point of view )

 

Do you have some music in mind?