Members SHINOLA Posted May 11, 2006 Members Share Posted May 11, 2006 all here http://www.thirteenbirds.com/letterb.htm feedback would be great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted May 11, 2006 Members Share Posted May 11, 2006 I listened to 13 birds. I hate to do this, but it needs a lot of work. The drum machine is terrible, the guitar line seems like a faux-flamenco nightmare, and the vocals are really weak. Also, there is a strange pad sound in the back that doesn't help. The song sounds decent, it just needs a makeover--I can't listen through the presentation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bluesway Posted May 12, 2006 Members Share Posted May 12, 2006 Originally posted by Chicken Monkey I listened to 13 birds. I hate to do this, but it needs a lot of work. The drum machine is terrible, the guitar line seems like a faux-flamenco nightmare, and the vocals are really weak. Also, there is a strange pad sound in the back that doesn't help. The song sounds decent, it just needs a makeover--I can't listen through the presentation. i'm so sorry to say it, but i'm with chicken monkey 100% on this, man. he's right - especially about the vox. i was turned off by the drum machine thing right in the beginning. a drum machine DOESN'T make new wave, bro. check out some brian eno. let's get positive for a sec: i do have to say, though, that i like the key change in the verse (i think it's the verse - the "blue eyed boy . . . " part.) it was refreshing from a structure point of view. you have a good idea there. lyrics, too, show there's a brain behind this; this project isn't lost. let's get to the meat of the problem: in the vox, i think you went for too much vocal expression and it just wound up sounding a bit unconvincing and out of tune. (honestly: a bit corny) if i could offer an opinion here, it doesn't sound like you're singing with your own voice, but trying to make a "cooler-sounding" voice and it's not working. you can really hear that in the end of different words of the verse. Ex: trees outside; telling lies; basically, the way you finish each expression. (bro, i'm guilty of this sometimes, too . . . i guess that's why i [think i] can hear it) also, the lead guitar is very stiff and amateurish. the only thing about a demo that is allowed to be amateurish is the recording. that needs to be looked at. hope i helped. for healing purposes, feel free to listen to my music and rip me a new one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ryanstanley Posted May 12, 2006 Members Share Posted May 12, 2006 i agreed with the above posts at first.. but after listening to more of the song i got into it a lot more. i'd say the only prblem is with the recording.. it's not a "bad" recording necessarily but it doesnt fit your style. i think you should throw some tubes on the vox, make the drums a little bigger, and add a little bass. other than that though, a decent song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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