Another new song.

[Cerpin T]

My band just got done recording a new song called The White Waiting Room. The mixing is still a little rough because we did it in my basement, but you'll get the idea. We're only 16-18 so don't be surprised if it sucks. But do not hesitate at all the comment/ criticize on anything including style/ marketability/ mix/ music whatever.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

The White Waiting Room

[G-tarist]

I liked it after the lyrics came in but before that it seemed a bit repetetive and it took to long to get to the singing. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with 2 minutes of instruments, but if you're trying to market yourself to somebody that doesn't play an instrument then it won't work unless theres alot of melody and feeling.

 

It sounds promising but I would suggest that you work on the instrumental section really 'gelling' together and/or experiment with shortening that part.

 

Otherwise I thought it was pretty cool.

 

PS You don't have to use any of this - just my opinion

[Chicken Monkey]

I liked the intro--it's rare to hear bands with a sense of SPACE in their music, and I really dug the build-up. It sounds like a cliche to say it, but it really is almost always cool to add one instrument at a time.

 

As far as the long-assedness of the intro, I think it sounds good--it maintained my interest throughout, and that is the only way to determine if something is "too long" or not.

 

Once the vocal comes in, it screams "Mars Volta"; you may be wearing your influences on your sleeve too much. Maybe I'm wrong. You do sound a bit like a 16-18 year old singer, though--a bit immature.

 

Overall, you might polish up the instrumental parts to lock them in, but this is 100x better than what I was doing in high school and college, and I usually don't even dig this type of music. Keep it up!

[darins]

 

Originally posted by Cerpin T We're only 16-18 so don't be surprised if it sucks.

 

 

The only thing you're doing by selling yourself short is giving people a reason not to listen. If it sucks, people will tell you - at least here. Age should not be a factor.

 

That being said, time to listen.

[darins]

Here are my thoughts - very nice tune. You classify yourselves as prog, so don't worry about a 2 minute intro. It continued to tell me about the song through the entire intro, so it served its purpose.

 

Great performances all around. I felt the drums in particular had an outstanding groove to them. The guitar tone seemed mildly inappropriate at times, mostly when it was the featured instrument - otherwise it worked fine.

 

I wrote down that in the 'verse', the guitar is overpowering everything else - mainly the vocals.

 

The 'main riff' just before the vocals didn't do a whole lot for me, but I liked the variations on it throughout the tune.

 

The riff at 1:30 when it is first introduced seemed very awkward. It gelled pretty quickly but you might want to find a way to really sell it when it is first introduced.

 

Keep it up, this is good work.

[bluesway]

i tend to really be drawn to tunes in 6/8. i liked this one's drum approach and i agree with the space comment from before. (i also agree with not mentioning your age - it totally IS and should be irrelevant) musically, i really loved it - the bells on the ride were such a cool addition right before the guitar riff came in. but....about that guitar riff at 1:26, it's kinda cheesey for me - i really feel that you have to put something a bit less diatonic and 'beavis and butthead-y' in there. i'm only saying this because it's so inconsistent with the vibe of the rest of the song and it killed me. where the tune breaks and the solo distant guitar comes in after is awesome. nice set up for the vocals which i think were cool. he sneaks really cool major tonalities into the melody.

 

overall, i dug....really dug. i would definitely look at that riff, though.

[bluesway]

Originally posted by Chicken Monkey Once the vocal comes in, it screams "Mars Volta"; you may be wearing your influences on your sleeve too much. Maybe I'm wrong. You do sound a bit like a 16-18 year old singer, though--a bit immature.

 

i think i remember someone else saying this at one point or another.

[Cerpin T]

It sounds promising but I would suggest that you work on the instrumental section really 'gelling' together and/or experiment with shortening that part.

 

Yeah actually, even though we are listed as prog, we're actually trying to distance ourself from the marathon songs and was actually going through our songs and trying to shorten them. Because no matter how good it is, nobody really has that kind of patience. And I was actually thinking maybe making that intro just a seperate track or something but still have it flow into the actual song. So that way the impatient can skip ahead. Sad, but true.

[Cerpin T]

 

Originally posted by Chicken Monkey I liked the intro--it's rare to hear bands with a sense of SPACE in their music, and I really dug the build-up. It sounds like a cliche to say it, but it really is almost always cool to add one instrument at a time. As far as the long-assedness of the intro, I think it sounds good--it maintained my interest throughout, and that is the only way to determine if something is "too long" or not. Once the vocal comes in, it screams "Mars Volta"; you may be wearing your influences on your sleeve too much. Maybe I'm wrong. You do sound a bit like a 16-18 year old singer, though--a bit immature. Overall, you might polish up the instrumental parts to lock them in, but this is 100x better than what I was doing in high school and college, and I usually don't even dig this type of music. Keep it up!

 

 

Yeah, I guess it varies from person to person. For someone like me thats not a long intro, but I've heard that twice already that "It'd be better if the vocals came in sooner."

 

As for the Mars Volta, yeah I'm a big fan, but we're working on finding our own unique sound, it actually dissapoints me that its still that prevalent.

 

And yes, the instrumentation needs polishing a lot, especially guitar. But for only like 4 hours of work, thats kinda what you get.

 

EDIT: About the vocals sounding immature, I just want it clear that that is a female singer. Idk if you guys picked up on that or not.

[Cerpin T]

Originally posted by bluesway i think i remember someone else saying this at one point or another.

 

Heh. Yeah. I guess it just kinda happens when thats your biggest influence. Our own sound is starting to come through though. I think...

[Cerpin T]

As for the age, I'll never post again of my age. It shouldn't matter, but yeah it sort of does to some people.

 

Other than that, more stuff is on its way so I'll be sure to post it as it arrives because all this stuff really helps. Thanks.

 

Oh and to whoever mentioned the guitar drowning out the vocals, when I was mixing it I had turned it down a little but I guess it wasn't enough, so I'll be sure to.

 

Thanks.