Members bobc Posted September 19, 2006 Members Share Posted September 19, 2006 I saw my sister a couple weeks ago, and she showed me some poems that she wrote when she was a teenager. I thought they where very good, and she said that she would like me to make them into songs for her. I started to work on one little by little since, and today i came up with something that i think is pretty good. I had to arange the poem into verses and chorus, but i did not want to change her words, which made it a challenge, but i managed to arange her words into a song. Here is the link... https://home.comcast.net/~bcalvanese/I-Miss-You.mp3 And here is her poem converted to lyrics... ================================= faint cry's and far away places memories that only time erases i miss you that glare of light that shines right through that feeling of happiness has touched me too i miss you you know i do a single tear impares my vision it is not clear such a yearning from inside clouds have come the stars they hide i need to feel you, to touch you, to hold you i miss you a gental song and a kiss of love as i gaze at the stars so high above i miss you so far and distant are they away as you my love are today i miss you you know i do you are so much to me without you there is no me missing you i cannot bare all these feelings that we share i need to feel you, to touch you, to hold you i miss you the sun shines and lights up the day home to you i'm on my way i miss you ===================================== This recording is my first attempt, and i am reading as i am singing and playing at the same time. Once i get it down, i can focus on adding more feeling into it, and i think it should turn out pretty good. Today is her birthday, and i sent her an email with the link so she can hear her new song. I hope she likes it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Floophead3 Posted September 19, 2006 Members Share Posted September 19, 2006 can you get a streaming version of this - I don't have a problem with downloading stuff, but a lot of guys on this forum do. I like the sound of the guitar, but I believe right now the song feels very droney, I'd like to hear a B guitar riff, and I'd also try reworking a lot of the vocals (I know you weren't really heavily focused on that) but I think the vocals could be more rhythmic and link into the guitar part a little better. Just something to think about, but during the "chorus" I'd think about changing keys or modes or something that draws it out from the rest of the song while still keeping the same dynamic and rhythmic feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bobc Posted September 19, 2006 Author Members Share Posted September 19, 2006 Originally posted by Floophead3 can you get a streaming version of this - I don't have a problem with downloading stuff, but a lot of guys on this forum do. I like the sound of the guitar, but I believe right now the song feels very droney, I'd like to hear a B guitar riff, and I'd also try reworking a lot of the vocals (I know you weren't really heavily focused on that) but I think the vocals could be more rhythmic and link into the guitar part a little better. Just something to think about, but during the "chorus" I'd think about changing keys or modes or something that draws it out from the rest of the song while still keeping the same dynamic and rhythmic feel. Wow. I was hoping there was at least some good things about it. Thanks for the tips though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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