Old Song

[Swingfinger]

I just joined this forum and thought I might contribute something to this section, however weak it may be. Didn't spend much time on this song and that was pretty much the first time i'd ever tried to sing for real. The song is Lawyer.

 

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=555167

 

Please don't be too harsh , I realize my singing sounds horrible.

[TheLuxLife]

Originally posted by Swingfinger I just joined this forum and thought I might contribute something to this section, however weak it may be. Didn't spend much time on this song and that was pretty much the first time i'd ever tried to sing for real. The song is Lawyer. http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=555167 Please don't be too harsh , I realize my singing sounds horrible.

 

 

 

Contribute something? Yeah, you did.

 

What would you like us to do with this?

More than anything else...I think this post is extremely disrespectful to those on this forum.

 

-J.P. LUX

[Swingfinger]

I don't know how to respond to this.. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful in any way. If you think it's so horrible ask for this thread to be closed. I don't know what to say besides sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention.

[TheLuxLife]

Originally posted by Swingfinger I don't know how to respond to this.. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful in any way. If you think it's so horrible ask for this thread to be closed. I don't know what to say besides sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention.

 

I think it's a priviledge to have the professionals, and semi-professionals in this forum listen to a recording. It's not something I take lightly. I don't like people wasting my time with some "song" they didn't spend much time on. What do you think this is?

 

I've been a registered memeber here for a while...reading, learning, and respecting those on the forum is what I've been doing. I myself make a living with my original music at the age of 22, spend countless hours on my songs, and I haven't even posted a song here. Just because this is the internet doesn't mean you get to spam us with your songs before you show us that you're worth our time.

 

 

**Sorry guys, this just sorta pissed me off**

 

 

-J.P. LUX

[TheLuxLife]

By the way...Even after that I still listened to another of your songs.

 

The guitar in "CRUMBLE" is nice. Make more instrumentals. If you know you aren't a great singer, don't ruin a good song with vocals.

 

-J.P. LUX

[TheBCProjects]

Originally posted by jplux1 I think it's a priviledge to have the professionals, and semi-professionals in this forum listen to a recording. It's not something I take lightly. I don't like people wasting my time with some "song" they didn't spend much time on. What do you think this is? I've been a registered memeber here for a while...reading, learning, and respecting those on the forum is what I've been doing. I myself make a living with my original music at the age of 22, spend countless hours on my songs, and I haven't even posted a song here. Just because this is the internet doesn't mean you get to spam us with your songs before you show us that you're worth our time. **Sorry guys, this just sorta pissed me off** -J.P. LUX

 

Self righteous much?

[Swingfinger]

thx for tip jp, I know I should stick to instrumentals but I can't help but hope that someday if I practice my voice will sound ok. I love vocals almost as much as I love guitar and it is a dream of mine to be able to be able to do a decent one man acoustic act. Again, im sorry that I offended you. I wasn't expecting a detailed analysis and breakdown on how I could improve the song. Just thought i'd post post it, figured it couldn't hurt, maybe I was wrong .

[tamoore]

 

Originally posted by TheBCProjects Self righteous much?

 

 

 

+ 1 gazillion.

[tamoore]

Originally posted by Swingfinger thx for tip jp, I know I should stick to instrumentals but I can't help but hope that someday if I practice my voice will sound ok. I love vocals almost as much as I love guitar and it is a dream of mine to be able to be able to do a decent one man acoustic act. Again, im sorry that I offended you. I wasn't expecting a detailed analysis and breakdown on how I could improve the song. Just thought i'd post post it, figured it couldn't hurt, maybe I was wrong .

 

 

You keep singing, my man.

 

Nothing wrong with what you are doing. Don't listen to JPLUX, as he's rapidly showing himself to be a complete flake.

 

Tom Petty and Jimi Hendrix couldn't "sing", but I love their voices both. You'll just have to develop you ear and your style, and you'll be fine....

 

I'll take another listen to your tunes and give you some feedback....

[TheLuxLife]

Originally posted by tamoore You keep singing, my man. Nothing wrong with what you are doing. Don't listen to JPLUX, as he's rapidly showing himself to be a complete flake. Tom Petty and Jimi Hendrix couldn't "sing", but I love their voices both. You'll just have to develop you ear and your style, and you'll be fine.... I'll take another listen to your tunes and give you some feedback....

 

Oh please

 

Let's go out and encourage everyone who can't sing to not only sing, but to record it and then post it here. Yeah...sounds good.

 

Also, lets hope they too decide to not work on it much before they post it.

 

-J.P. LUX

[TheLuxLife]

Originally posted by Swingfinger thx for tip jp, I know I should stick to instrumentals but I can't help but hope that someday if I practice my voice will sound ok. I love vocals almost as much as I love guitar and it is a dream of mine to be able to be able to do a decent one man acoustic act. Again, im sorry that I offended you. I wasn't expecting a detailed analysis and breakdown on how I could improve the song. Just thought i'd post post it, figured it couldn't hurt, maybe I was wrong .

 

Just so you know, regardless of what those two say...you'll get MANY more responses if you actually spend time on the song before you post it. Saying "Didn't spend much time on this song and that was pretty much the first time i'd ever tried to sing for real..." doesn't inspire confidence in the listener.

 

Again, I like what you did with CRUMBLE.

 

 

-J.P. LUX

[tamoore]

Originally posted by jplux1 Oh please Let's go out and encourage everyone who can't sing to not only sing, but to record it and then post it here. Yeah...sounds good. Also, lets hope they too decide to not work on it much before they post it. -J.P. LUX

 

 

Seriously, shut the {censored} up.

 

This is a songwriting forum, ass-munch, not a {censored}ing vocalist perfection forum.

 

If you want to bitch and moan about someones vocals, go to the recording forum.

 

If you want to talk about songwriting, stay here and post constructive things that regard SONGWRITING, and maybe some helpful things that may fall outside of that.

 

The crap you posted in this thread was neither constructive, or helpful.

[TheLuxLife]

 

Originally posted by tamoore Seriously, shut the {censored} up. This is a songwriting forum, ass-munch, not a {censored}ing vocalist perfection forum. If you want to bitch and moan about someones vocals, go to the recording forum. If you want to talk about songwriting, stay here and post constructive things that regard SONGWRITING, and maybe some helpful things that may fall outside of that. The crap you posted in this thread was neither constructive, or helpful.

 

 

It's obvious that my point to him was to work on his songs more before posting them so he'd be able to get more constructive advice. Just throwing something up and saying you didn't spend much time on it is disrespectful at best.

 

You on the other hand have serious anger issues. Maybe it's late and you're drunk or something, but you using all that "fancy" language is just plain stupid. I listened to your songs on myspace, and enjoyed them, but your attitude leaves alot to be desired.

 

-J.P. LUX

[tamoore]

Originally posted by jplux1 It's obvious that my point to him was to work on his songs more before posting them so he'd be able to get more constructive advice. Just throwing something up and saying you didn't spend much time on it is disrespectful at best. You on the other hand have serious anger issues. Maybe it's late and you're drunk or something, but you using all that "fancy" language is just plain stupid. I listened to your songs on myspace, and enjoyed them, but your attitude leaves alot to be desired. -J.P. LUX

 

 

It's actually early. You're getting the best of me....

 

Thanks for enjoying my songs, but that has nothing to do with my attitude, or the reasons for my posts here.

 

You seriously need to think about what it is you're saying, and what this forum is all about. Songwriting isn't about singing. If you think it is, then you'll have an enemy in me for as long as you decide to spend here.

 

Extremely talented people around here often put up a first take scratch copy of a song for evaluation. That's fine, and entirely valid. Maybe he wanted an honest opinion about the structure and content of the song, to see if it had appeal before he spent a bunch more time on it? Should he be crucified by you just because it didn't meet your minimum requirements?

[TheLuxLife]

Originally posted by tamoore It's actually early. You're getting the best of me.... Thanks for enjoying my songs, but that has nothing to do with my attitude, or the reasons for my posts here. You seriously need to think about what it is you're saying, and what this forum is all about. Songwriting isn't about singing. If you think it is, then you'll have an enemy in me for as long as you decide to spend here. Extremely talented people around here often put up a first take scratch copy of a song for evaluation. That's fine, and entirely valid. Maybe he wanted an honest opinion about the structure and content of the song, to see if it had appeal before he spent a bunch more time on it? Should he be crucified by you just because it didn't meet your minimum requirements?

 

You're right...maybe I was harsh. I try my best to remain calm, but I just don't understand a person who posts something and basically tells you that listening is a bad idea right there in the post. I wanted to make a point, and it's clear I did. I'll try to be more patient.

 

-J.P. LUX

[bluesway]

oh....now i REALLY know what that other post is about!

 

i dig brutal honesty. i haven't heard this tune, but swingfinger, don't stop singing. you don't need a permit to sing, so just {censored}ing do it and you'll grow - that's how it works. it's the natural progression of things. there's no way you should take anything to heart, especially if you haven't spent the past three months on the prod of this tune. you yourself more or less said that it was nothing worth listening to - or your disclaimers did. it's a quickie demo to give you an idea of what needs work. jplux gave it to you. not in a cuddly way, but he did. just post and 'hope for the best/prepare for the worst', k? and keep posting. it'll warm up for you; that's a promise.

 

(but seriously, leave the teenage-style disclaimers at the door and take the beating that you seem to have known was coming. it's a very effective way for anyone to get better - also, the foundation of jplux' gripe isn't exactly weak, considering the way you presented yourself.)

 

 

i think i'm going to listen to this later.

[bluesway]

let me say this to you, though:

 

welcome to the forum. your work IS very welcome. don't get discouraged.

 

and jplux, i'm going to find a good exterminator to get that bug out'ya ass so you can cheer up a bit, okay? lol

 

it's all hugs and tickles from here on in

[bluesway]

alright; i heard it. go do a better job. you can.

 

stand-alone hi-gain guitar that's not carefully recorded to a click can't be your pad if it's just instrument/vox. get an acoustic and work on keeping the same click throughout. your lyrics are cheeky stabs at rich dick lawyers (lawyers, don't be offended; my wife's one of you and she can admit there's alot of them around)

i like attacking snobs. i did it in my last tune. keep that angle, but present yourself better.

 

by the way, you WILL get better as a singer. definitely. you carried the tune. now go find your voice (and when you do, go check to see if mine's hidden next to it!!....{censored}in' dave mayer)

[TheLuxLife]

Originally posted by bluesway let me say this to you, though: welcome to the forum. your work IS very welcome. don't get discouraged. and jplux, i'm going to find a good exterminator to get that bug out'ya ass so you can cheer up a bit, okay? lol it's all hugs and tickles from here on in

 

 

I was able to cheer up a little

 

Once again...I dig Crumble.

 

 

-J.P. LUX

[TheBCProjects]

Wow. Now translate this thread into a 30 minute TV format, add a few cute kids and I think we have ourselves an episode of Full House.

 

 

 

Swingfinger ---

 

I listened to your tune -- there just isn't much there to critique right now. I agree with Bluesway, it needs more work, but aside from a click, you might consider adding a few other elements (if your recording setup allows) to help complete the song -- rhythm elements (at least something that keeps time), harmonic elements, etc. Or re-arrange the solo guitar to capture all of these. As stands now, it sounds like two parts of a four part combo.

 

Keep it up dude, let us know how it turns out.

[Swingfinger]

Originally posted by bluesway alright; i heard it. go do a better job. you can. stand-alone hi-gain guitar that's not carefully recorded to a click can't be your pad if it's just instrument/vox. get an acoustic and work on keeping the same click throughout. your lyrics are cheeky stabs at rich dick lawyers (lawyers, don't be offended; my wife's one of you and she can admit there's alot of them around) i like attacking snobs. i did it in my last tune. keep that angle, but present yourself better. by the way, you WILL get better as a singer. definitely. you carried the tune. now go find your voice (and when you do, go check to see if mine's hidden next to it!!....{censored}in' dave mayer)

 

I really do appreciate all of your comments. I didn't expect praises and a spooning partner . You are correct in saying I talked the song down, down into the ground (into the center of the earth) in my first post. You said something about leaving crap like that at the door. I agree with you and regret posting that part. It just seems natural, no matter how bad it is, to defend my beybey (song) . For seem reason my natural defense was calling it bad before you guys could. Well, I think imma try to set up some kind of decent recording equipment. An old mic that came with my dad's learn spanish tapes doesn't cut it . Your also said I need to get an acoustic. I have an old all plywood epiphone that plays like a 100 year old swinger. I'm shopping for a new one, I started a thread in the acoustic forum and got a lot of good information. I am currently thinking Breedlove. You guys seem like a wonderful community and I hope there are no hard feelings being created by this thread. I gotsta go now; im in Natural Disasters 101 and I should probably be paying attention. :bor:

[bluesway]

yeah. everyone has that defense, i think. i did. i often fight the urge to post "it sucks" when i show somehting new, but that's just to save any potentially lost face. just put it out and go. fuggit.

 

the ac guitars: Breedloves sound awesome, but that bracing system that facilitates more vibration also facilitates more breakability. Already being a pretty touchy thing, an acoustic guitar needs all the help it can get in the sturdiness department.

 

i have a seagull that was around 600 bucks, but now you can buy it for about 450 and it sounds wonderfully full - and it's had its share of beatings.

 

if i had to buy a cheaper acoustic guitar again, though, i'd probably buy that low level martin for about 6-700 dollars. nice piece; especially after someone who knows what they're doing gives it a good setup.

 

oh...and if i were you, get your instruments and then worry about the mic. a good performance with the right instrumentation is better than a good recording for the sake of a demo. show taste in your instrument choices and melodies; that'll speak volumes more than if this song were done the same way with a good mic.

[Swingfinger]

 

Originally posted by bluesway yeah. everyone has that defense, i think. i did. i often fight the urge to post "it sucks" when i show somehting new, but that's just to save any potentially lost face. just put it out and go. fuggit. the ac guitars: Breedloves sound awesome, but that bracing system that facilitates more vibration also facilitates more breakability. Already being a pretty touchy thing, an acoustic guitar needs all the help it can get in the sturdiness department. i have a seagull that was around 600 bucks, but now you can buy it for about 450 and it sounds wonderfully full - and it's had its share of beatings. if i had to buy a cheaper acoustic guitar again, though, i'd probably buy that low level martin for about 6-700 dollars. nice piece; especially after someone who knows what they're doing gives it a good setup. oh...and if i were you, get your instruments and then worry about the mic. a good performance with the right instrumentation is better than a good recording for the sake of a demo. show taste in your instrument choices and melodies; that'll speak volumes more than if this song were done the same way with a good mic.

 

 

I actually am probably going to be spending closer to 1100 or more now. My dad is going to pay for part of it and I might be selling my variax 700 hardtail for 800 (I bought it for 1600 but I don't play it and it won't sell). Therefore I can go a little higher end than Seagull me thinks. I bump my guitar against things all the time and I don't want it to be fragile. Ill take that into consideration when I'm checking out the Breedloves at guitar center this week. How do you feel about Ibanez, Taylor, Takamine, Gibson, and Ovation acoustics? Are there any other brand names I should keep my eyes open for at GC? I didn't hear anything about the guitar being fragile in the reviews I read but maybe I should check again.

[Swingfinger]

Originally posted by tamoore You keep singing, my man. Nothing wrong with what you are doing. Don't listen to JPLUX, as he's rapidly showing himself to be a complete flake. Tom Petty and Jimi Hendrix couldn't "sing", but I love their voices both. You'll just have to develop you ear and your style, and you'll be fine.... I'll take another listen to your tunes and give you some feedback....

 

I appreciate your comment as well . I really liked your songs on soundclick. I found your influences interesting, namely the Click Five, but after listening a few of your songs I understand. Also I have to admit that while I claim to have a deep loathing for bands like them, their songs do get stuck in my head. My brother is in a local Santa Cruise Band called the Audiophiliacs and he is always encouraging me to start singing saying that it will start to sound better. If you feel like checking them out here is the site

 

http://www.purevolume.com/theaudiophiliacs

 

I guess the pop genre has grown on me. I used to be a straight up rock man . Anyways.. I really like your songs. Keep doin whatcha love .

[bluesway]

for a grand, i'd get Seagull, Martin, larravee, froggy bottom, taylor or something of the higher ilk. i WOULDN't get it acoustic/electric and i'd try to get the most simple guitar for that amount of money - think 'meat and potatoes' here. don't get caught up in fanciness.

 

that way, what your paying for is all wood quality/craftsmanship instead of an expensive addition in the form of a {censored}ty-sounding piezo pickup or abalone/mother of pearl frills. if you want to go electric, you can do that later and put in any number of great sounding pickup systems. (i really, really like LR Baggs' active iBeam with an acoustic pre - awesome sound). get something that sounds big and full and something that would light up with a neumann or AKG c12 in front of it. that's so much more valuable in the long run than the ability to play that never-occuring acoustic gig.

 

also, avoid cutaways. they cut sound away as well. a good solo player can make his guitar lead on the lower frets as well.

 

all in all, good luck and keep us posted as to what you bought.

 

g

 

ps THIS is a {censored}ing great guitar. easily as good as all the others in your price range.

 

pps - don't buy ovations. they never 'grow'. they may be amazing to play, but you want wood to age and become better. those things sound like {censored}, anyway.