Some new lyrics....thoughts?

[jblove]

Wrote these in my head in the shower, then just came out and typed them up. Something doesn't feel quite right. Any thoughts?

Second verse sounds a bit forced I think

 

 

The end keeps hurtling ever closer

And sometimes I just can't stand it

As the world keeps changing every day

I miss what I took for granted

 

And I know I'll do it all over again

It'll just go on and on

As it seems I cannot appreciate anything

Until it's all but gone

 

So what's the point of living like this?

Who are we trying to kid?

Happiness will just turn into

Regret for what we didn't do

And longing for what we did

 

Yes, goodnight to all

And sleep well gentle one

Ignorance is bliss

Yet it's not that much fun

100 years doesn't seem that long

But soon the endless sleep may come

[Todzilla]

Damn, that's totally {censored}in' depressin'

[Jenkinsear]

I hate reading lyrics like this cuz they always sound so {censored}ty on paper, but are good when in a song format.

[Poor Yorick]

 

I hate reading lyrics like this cuz they always sound so {censored}ty on paper, but are good when in a song format.

 

 

agreed. this kind of lament may work with music, but when you read it...

 

overall, it seems vague. i'm not even sure what particular brand of sadness is going down here -- not even sure who the speaker is talking to and/or why.

 

i like songs with really strong verbal meter and/or a good story/situation. i'd be more interested in a song that explained how the speaker got so sad, rather than just an emotional laundry list proving how sad he/she is.